The Chairman, No. 1 Son, Hay and her dad are at the local Sainsbury supermarket:
Hay's Dad (aka Caravan): "I'm looking for one of those things that takes the air our of a part-drunk bottle of wine to stop it going off."
No. 1 Son: "Dad prefers something that takes the wine out of a part-drunk bottle of wine to stop it going off - he calls it a mouth."
No.1 son is reading out his history homework:
No. 1 Son: "And the Japanese view was ..... I can't read this - good grief, my writing is so neat now that I can't even read it anymore!"