Oh God - the French government has raised the top rate tax to 75%! I suppose we're going to see hoards of louche, rich, French people with their strange, foreign ways invading the Home Counties and helping us with our debt crisis by spending their worthless Euros.
I believe the Mars Rover has spotted a billion year-old pram and some tyres in a dried up riverbed within the Gale Crater.
Saw Ed Milliband on local TV last night - he was making all manner of ridiculous promises that he knows damned well he won't have to keep, 'cos he ain't in power - nor is he ever likely to be. Hay had to remind me who he was though (he hasn't exactly been in the news much recently). I simply can't trust politicians who look about 12. Give me his elder brother any day.
A pal sent me this full frontal image of the Duchess of Cambridge yesterday. I'm only publishing it as I believe it is in the public interest.