Fishy Tails

Over the bank holiday weekend, Hay sold some aquarium sand to a bloke who looked like Swampy, but knew everything about fish, having studied them at university. He has a 4m aquarium with some pretty weird fish in it. 

I happened to mention that we had a single koi in our pond, but that Hay refused point blank to put any more in, as she was worried about the effect of fish poo on the ecological balance. He had a look at our pond and opined that another two koi would be a perfect addition, as the plants take up the fish poo and thrive, in turn cleaning the water and creating a virtuous circle.

As it happens, Hay's dad has a small pond with originally contained 4 koi, but two had disappeared (I suspect they were battered and eaten with chips). Additionally, he insisted on using tap water in his pond, resulting it being pea soup from the phosphates and the koi not being very happy at all.

We decided to put Hay's dad's two koi in our pond, but we simply couldn't find them. We spent a whole afternoon dredging the fetid pond for these two fish, but to no avail.

The next day, No.1Son came round and was 100% certain he'd seen at least one. So we tried again and, hey presto, he managed to catch them both. He obviously has better eyesight than me or Hay.

Into the large pond they went. They immediately started swimming gleefully in the deep end, whereas the existing resident, which is two or three times their size, keeps to the vegetation and is rarely seen.

Once they get used to each other, the three of them should start to shoal and explore the entire universe of the pond.

Topper Fettling

Thought I'd have a go at fettling the Topper sailing boat I bought a couple of years ago, which has been languishing at the top of the garden, exposed to all the elements and hasn't been used yet, as kayaking opportunities took precedence. I'm determined to get some use from it this year.

Rather than just launch into it, I thought I'd check YouTube for some advice. The advice given was to rub the topsides down with white spirit and then apply a heat gun to rejuvenate the plastic. The effect was magical.

I used my butane heat gun, wafting it over the plastic to slightly melt it, which brought the condition back to nearly new. Apparently I've been storing it incorrectly and is should be stored with the hull uppermost. 

The hull requires sanding with increasingly finer grades of wet and dry paper, a bit like the polycarbonate roof of Hay's Smart Car. The hull isn't too bad.

I was so impressed with the result of the application of the heat gun that I tried the process on some areas of a badly sun-damaged, plastic garden chair.

Not as good, it being a different type of plastic (PET), but good enough.

Trailer Update

Saw the line-up for the Coronation Concert and, meh! Not for me. Usual Sunday night TV wipeout. It struck me that when William ascends the throne, Camilla won't be the Queen Mother, but Queen Step Mother.

Successfully loaded No.1 Son's BMW on the trailer yesterday. 1300kg, plus the 700kg of the trailer, makes a total of 2 tonnes. According to some websites, that's just on the limit of my Galaxy, according to others, it's 300kg over. More definitive research is required, but easily pulled.

Just need the brakes checking and the off-side tail light fixing before collecting the Triumph GT6 on June 21st, the date the seller and I have agreed on.

Applied some KuRust to the chassis and painted it with black Hammerite. Trying to find some blue Hammerite for the sides, but no lock so far. Need to weld a new jockey wheel bracket on, nearer to the tow ball, as the current reach is a tad too far.

Our tame builder, Colin, put in the non-slip garage ramp over the weekend.

Shuttering just needs removing and the concrete, which has been reinforced, has to fully cure for a few weeks before I can load it. Not sure what's happening with the roll-up wall, but I'll persist in badgering the manufacturer, who was inundated with marquee requests caused by that coronation thing.

Prior Engagement

So, Archbishop Albus Dumbledore applied the Sorting Hat to Charles yesterday, but it didn't say anything. The 'Other Woman' got her Sorting Hat too and got to call herself Queen, instead of Queen Consort. Bet there were a few mutterings among the crowd.

I heard that Charles, the Third of That Name, was swearing at oafs. I'm not sure which oafs - there were plenty to choose from. Not a single Targeryn turned up to contest the succession though, nor a single dragon to be seen.

I was hoping to see the stage coach held up at Queen Victoria Gulch by a bunch of desperado Republicans. At least the soldiers didn't massacre to onlookers, like they did in 1066, when they thought that the cries of; "God save the King," was an insurrection, as they didn't understand Saxon. William the Conqueror was called William the Bastard by the Saxons, but not to his face.

Henry Somerset, the 12th Duke of Beaufort, who lives near to us in Badminton, was on the guest list for the Sorting Hat Ceremony.

Now the Duke of Beaufort has an annual shindig at his place that goes by the name of The Badminton Horse Trials, and it's a big thing in these parts, as it bring money into the community and into His Grace's coffers. 

Planning takes ages and all the horsey people throughout the UK (and the world) attend. The roads around J18 on the M4 are blocked with traffic. And when does it happen this year? 4th May to 7th May, and the coronation is right in the middle of it.

I'll bet anything The Duke of Beaufort was hoping he'd be left off the guest list and was pleading furiously that he had a prior engagement, but as a Royal Duke there was no dodging it.

Interesting facts about the Dukes of Beaufort:

FitzRoy Somerset (First Baron Raglan, who lost an arm at Waterloo), who issued the fatal order that led to The Charge of the Light Brigade, was the 9th son of the then Duke of Beaufort. The Beaufort dukedom is one of only two that aren't named after places in Britain, Waterloo being the other.

The Dukes of Beaufort are descended from Henry Beaufort, 3rd Duke of Somerset, a Lancastrian commander in the Wars of the Roses. The names Beaufort and Somerset were merely swapped.

The Old Duke, who died a couple of years ago, was, in his younger years, a dear ringer for Christopher Lee as Dracula.

See what I mean? Widow's peak and all. Hay's relatives on her dad's side all worked in service for the 9th Duke, who went by the magnificent name of Henry Adelbert Wellington FitzRoy Somerset. They all thought highly of his Mrs, who was the widow of a Dutch nobleman, Baron Charles Frederic van Tuyll van Serooskerken. The Tuylls are well represented in graveyards around here.

As for arresting the protesters; bringing in draconian laws against protesting heralds the rise of ugly authoritarianism. Instead of leaving them alone, they have been given unparalleled publicity and there will doubtless be legal challenges arising from the arrests. The right to protest is enshrined in the rights to freedom of expression and freedom of assembly, protected respectively under articles 10 and 11 of the European convention on human rights, which was directly incorporated into domestic British law by the Human Rights Act. No wonder the country has turned against our government - it rants against cancel culture and advocates free speech. and then cancels protesters and muffles their free speech. Rank hypocrisy!

Hay kept watching the highlights in the evening, but I could only raise the same enthusiasm as I do for Countryfile - I'll watch bits, but not the whole damned programme. The Hatting Ceremony was enough for me, followed by the concert, but that isn't till tonight. No amount of saying; "Is there anything else on," worked. Tonight it will probably be Countryfile in preference to the Hatting Concert. I tend to wipe Sunday evening out as far as televisual entertainment is concerned..

Prime Minister Regent

I was watching a programme the other day about the Prince Regent and his dissolute lifestyle, which reminded me of Boris Johnson, especially as we're currently enjoying (or suffering, depending on your point of view) a coronation.

Boris Johnson and the Prince Regent, who later became King George IV of the United Kingdom, share some similarities, although they lived in different historical periods. Here are a few similarities: 

1.  Background: Both Boris Johnson and the Prince Regent came from privileged backgrounds. The Prince Regent was born into the royal family and enjoyed all the privileges that came with it, while Boris Johnson was born into a wealthy family and attended the prestigious Eton College and Oxford University. 
2. Controversial Personal Lives: Both men have had controversial personal lives. The Prince Regent was known for his extravagant lifestyle, numerous affairs, and high spending. Boris Johnson has also had a colourful personal life, with several high-profile affairs and controversies over his integrity. 
3. Political Positions: Both men held political positions in the UK government. The Prince Regent served as the Prince Regent of the United Kingdom from 1811 until he became King in 1820. Boris Johnson has served as a Member of Parliament, Mayor of London, and Prime Minister. 
4. Leadership Styles: Both Boris Johnson and the Prince Regent have been known for their charismatic leadership styles, although they have been criticized for being impulsive and erratic at times. 
5. Public Image: Both men have cultivated a public image of being unconventional and breaking with tradition. The Prince Regent was known for his love of fashion, architecture, and the arts, while Boris Johnson has been known for his unkempt appearance and unorthodox political style.

Much as I like many of Charles' policies, I really think that the public swearing allegiance to him is a bit anachronistic and feudal. I wonder who dreamed up that wheeze, which hasn't gone down well in all circles, despite it being voluntary? I'm certain it wasn't him. It would be better if he pledged allegiance to us, the people.

As for Republicanism vs Monarchy: Either the king has power, in which case he exemplifies unelected power, being what 52% of the population (predominantly the right) voted to rid itself of with the Brexit vote, or he has no power, in which case he's totally irrelevant and worth nothing more than a plate of beef. 

In any case, the Conservative Party under Boris Johnson sent a cabinet member to lie to the monarch, thus demonstrating its disdained for the institution of monarchy and tradition, which are two central pillars of Conservatism. Charles is also Woke and, I believe you will find, that the majority of monarchists are anti-Woke.

So, there's a conundrum for the right in their support for unelected power, their support for a Woke monarch and disdain for the role of the monarch. We live in strange times.

Briggs & Stratton Hybrid

Ref my post on the 28th April regarding what I thought looked like a Briggs & Stratton powered Lotus, it would transpire that Briggs & Stratton actually made a car.

The Briggs & Stratton Petrol/Electric Hybrid Car – In 1980, at the tail end of the energy crisis, Briggs & Stratton developed the first petrol-electric hybrid automobile concept car. "The Hybrid" was designed by Brooks Stevens, had six wheels and was powered by a twin-cylinder 16 hp (11.9 kW) Briggs & Stratton engine and a large bank of 6v lead-acid electric batteries. Only the second axle was driven, with an extra rear axle added to support the weight of the batteries.

Didn't look too bad either, for the 1980s.

Here, again, is the Lotus:

And here's my Snapper with the Briggs & Stratton.

See the similarity?

Ref the lawnmower; had a bugger of a job starting it and it seems the battery has bitten the dust. A new one is on order and should arrive today.

The deck gave me a headache, but that was only because the bloke who'd welded it had put a pulley on some 90 degrees from where it should be. Together we solved the problem and bolted it into the correct position.

Took me about 20 minutes to figure out the reassembly, as I'd forgotten the disassembly process. 

The next day it wouldn't make a sound, even with the external jump pack, which made me suspect the 20A fuse, but could I find it? No. 

The parts manual was next to useless, as it is more of a guide than a detailed diagram of where things are. I finally found it under a pop-off panel on the dashboard, and even then it was extremely inaccessible. As suspected, the blades of the fuse had corroded - a quick wipe with emery paper and it jump started again. 

Cuts beautifully.

Strawberrys

May the fourth be with you.....

As part of my keto diet, there are few fruits I can eat, but strawberries are one group that's OK. Probably because it's a fine line between them being sweet or horribly acidic.

However, has anyone of my age noticed how, whereas you could buy strawberries that lasted over a week in the 60s, 70s and 80s, you're now lucky to get more than a couple of days before they turn to compost?

It probably has more to do with selling them when they're ripe, rather then you having to wait a week before they're edible.

Data Nerd

I'm obsessed with data, which is the reason I take daily readings of my solar generation and electricity usage. I also keep a spreadsheet forecasting my income and expenditure a year ahead, enabling me to budget with pinpoint accuracy.

As an aside, in my 20s and 30s I developed Lotus123 systems for analysing the stability characteristics of ships, reducing lengthy tables to formulae based on regression analysis, enabling me to develop computer programmes to easily calculate a ship's stability.

All of this electrical power and financial data is contained within various pages of a rather large spreadsheet, and some of the formulae used to aid appraisal are rather complex. The constant shifting of blocks of data at the start of each month adds to the memory usage, such that the transition from one month to the next, and all the copying, can result in Excel taking up to 3 minutes to copy an array. It gets worse with time.

I thought I'd ask ChatGPT to simplify one specific formula that compares values in one column to the next column, summing only those values which are greater than the next (month's) column, thereby showing me the outgoings for various expenditures. Cells that are of a lower value to the one to the right are due to be paid in that month, whereas those less than the cell to the right are savings that are accruing until the desired month of payment is reached.

It simplified the following longhand formula, which I used;

=+IF(K24>L24,K24,"0")+IF(K25>L25,K25,"0")+IF(K26>L26,K26,"0")+IF(K27>L27,K27,"0")+IF(K28>L28,K28,"0")+IF(K29>L29,K29,"0")+IF(K30>L30,K30,"0")+IF(+K31>L31,+K31,"0")+IF(K32>L32,K32,"0")+IF(K33>L33,K33,"0")+IF(K34>L34,K34,"0")+IF(K35>L35,K35,"0")+IF(K36>L36,K36,"0")+IF(K37>L37,K37,"0")+IF(K38>L38,K38,"0")+IF(K39>L39,K39,"0")+IF(K40>L40,K40,"0")+IF(K41>L41,K41,"0")+IF(K42>L42,K42,"0")+IF(K43>L43,K43,"0")+IF(K44>L44,K44,"0"+IF(K45>L45,K45,"0"))+IF(K47>L47,K47,"0")+IF(K48>L48,K48,"0")+IF(K49>L49,K49,"0")

to  =SUM(IF(K24:K49>L24:L49,K24:K49,0))

Now multiply that by 12 for each month of the year ahead and you can see the saving in processing.

This is an array calculation, which I've never encountered before in Excel, and must be entered in a special manner, rather than simply pressing Enter. The effect on the time taken to update everything at the end of the month is phenomenal.

To provide a visual aid, I apply conditional formatting to each month column so that any amount that has to paid in that month (is greater than the amount in the corresponding cell for the next month) is a different colour from the background.

I really love ChatGPT. It will even write computer code for you. 

Advert Translations

As anyone whop reads my Blog knows, I'm an inveterate Facebook Marketplace and e-Bay purchaser.

Here are some translations:

1. Needs TLC - requires vast amounts of money, time and effort to get it going, probably a total rebuild.
2. Turns over - doesn't work, and hasn't for decades.
3. The usual age marks - rotten to the core.
4. Parts are boxed - many are missing.
5. We can be difficult to find - we are impossible to find.
6. It has given us good service - it's worn out.
7. Quirky - wonky.
8. Bargain - looking for a mug.

I prefer to sell something on Facebook Market Place for the reason you can give the prospective purchaser an anchor price point. That's a psychological trigger and, if they beat you down, they think they have got a great deal, even if the anchor point you create is far more than what you actually want and the price they pay is actually how much you want.

On e-Bay, purchasers increase the bid from the reserve, which doesn't give them a value anchor point, as the reserve isn't made known till the bidding is over (assuming most people use sniping technology to bid.

Yes There Are Two Paths You can Go By....

Hay and her sister have marked out the mown paths to delineate the unmown areas that benefit the creepy crawlies and small mammals. 

Rather pointless, if you ask me; it just provides a larder for the six cats in the area, interspersed with killing areas. The paths are the lighter areas.

It's an absolute pain in late summer when it has to be cut, but I'm thinking of hiring a modern equivalent of the Oxford Allen scythe for a day to make it easier. Only £55, so worth it.

There is a Stiga power scythe for sale locally at £395, but it's second hand and the price is the equivalent of hiring one for nearly 8 years, without the maintenance.

It has a few spots of rust on it too.

Talking of rust; my mower deck is finally back from the bloke I gave it to for welding. He promised it fixed and back with me within a week - that was last October. Needless to say, I was not best pleased with him, although the job was fantastic.

Going to apply a liberal coating of Hammerite before mounting it to the tractor unit.

I much prefer a smooth, green sward of mown grass to run the mower across.