Friday, 31 July 2015

Top Gear Gas, You're Going to Die


What do Americans ask for when calling at a petrol station and requiring LPG? Gas gas?

Jeremy Clarkson and Co. have signed up for Amazon Prime. Based on the paucity of the films Amazon Prime hosts, I don't think I'll be watching them - will stick with Netflix thanks.

I don't want to worry you, but you're going to die of something. It may be cancer, it may be a heart attack, it may be a stroke, it could be dementia, it could be one of a myriad things. Go see your doctor before it's too late! Either that, or just don't give a damn and save the tax payer some dosh.


Thursday, 30 July 2015

Progress Report, Wedding Video & Waitrose


Progress from yesterday! I feel a swift trip to B and Q (can't use ampersand in Blogger) coming up to use my over 60s card for a bathroom and kitchen.


Roof trusses ordered, larch cladding ordered, roof tiles to be ordered tomorrow. On target for mid-September completion.

I've finished editing Hay's sister's wedding. If you're willing to suffer 25 minutes of someone else's humanist wedding, then this is for you. If you're bored by this kind of thing, move on the end credits - and make sure you go beyond where it says; "THE END". Hay is the blonde in the flowered dress toting a camera and one of the people giving a reading.


Did you spot President Clinton, who kindly dropped in for the pub lunch on the Wednesday.

Received an offer from Waitrose yesterday - free champagne when I spend £100 or more. Can't remember the last time I spent £100 on a weekly shop; our usual is just under £70 at Lidl, which would give me £30 for a decent bottle of bubbly anyway! Mind you, it must be quite easy to spend £100 at Waitrose - just some Eaitrose Essential lilies and a bit of Waitrose Essential caviar.


Wednesday, 29 July 2015

The Cabin


Progress is being made at a fast pace with the cabin - Colin and Barry have been beavering away for 2 days now.




Colin and Barry love us as customers as we make no demands and tell them to make whatever decisions they deem fit. The same happened with the house and we had no complaints whatsoever. They, after all, are the experts.

It will be insulated to within an inch of its life, so all we now need concern ourselves with is whether we install the wood burner from the caravan (which we saved), or use some form of electric heating. The power is coming from the house, so the profit we're making from the feed-in tariff will take care of the electricity bills.


Tuesday, 28 July 2015

Gazebos & Tents


Bought a small gazebo on eBay last year, but never got to put it up as it was bought too late in the year. I contributed it to the wedding to add as a portico to the wedding ceremony gazebo. On putting it together I realised why it was so cheap - some of poles wouldn't go together without a rather large application of brute force. I suspect it was a an Amazon return, as the seller was an Amazon driver.

Anyway, I got it together for the wedding, but there was no way the uprights could ever be taken apart again. Fortuitously, Colin our builder, needs a gazebo as a building shelter for the cabin build, which started yesterday, so it's now residing at the top of the field and it doesn't matter if it's destroyed in the process.

Not sure when we'll be able to take the Big Top tent down - weather has precluded it so far and most of the available personnel are going away this week. Getting very worried about the grass. The heavy rain on Sunday has rendered the ground very soft and tent pegs are popping all over the place - it nearly collapsed of its own accord yesterday in the winds.

There's a more than a 50% chance that Hay and I will get married next year, but there's no way I'm raising tents myself and doing all the clearing up afterwards. We're considering low-cost alternatives that involve leaving it all to others to do the hard work. Hiring a local pub with room for a marquee and a pig roast is high on the list of options. There is a number of likely venues hereabouts.


Monday, 27 July 2015

A Good Time Was Had by All


Despite the rain and gales Friday and Sunday, Saturday turned out perfect for the wedding, if somewhat chilly in the evening. Hayley was official photographer and I was official video expert.

The video expert spent yesterday trying to figure out why DVD after DVD had no sound, before discovering late in the afternoon that the DVD player's sound cable was unplugged on the TV.

The following photos were taken by me, not the official photographer (who is infinitely better than me at this kind of stuff).


The Garden Party


Bride and Groom


Official photographer with Bride and Groom


Official photographer with Best Man


Official photo of the Official Photographer


Aftermath



Friday, 24 July 2015

Tented Brummie Koran


I hear that what is possibly the earliest fragment of the Koran, written by someone who could have personally known Mohammed, has been found in Birmingham. Could this be conclusive proof that Mohammed was actually a Brummie?

Took delivery of the composting loo for the cabin yesterday. It's huge and it comes with a mounting step!




Needs just an electrical connection for the heater element and a vent to the outside.

Got the Pyramid Stage sorted with side curtains yesterday evening just in time for today's rain. Thinking of using the white wedding ceremony tent as a Hits of the Blitz Stage for the oldies in the evening. Hay is the official photographer and I'm the official video crew.



The Registry Office wedding ceremony was on Wednesday but the humanist ceremony is tomorrow afternoon, along with a party in the evening. Just hope the weather forecast is accurate.


Thursday, 23 July 2015

Irony


Saw a post on Facebook yesterday advertising a petition on behalf of an organisation called Christians Against Anti-Semitism, which I thought a tad ironic - they invented it, for heaven's sake. Doubly ironic when their holy man was himself Jew! Triply ironic when they gather in their millions on Sundays worshiping three Gods, one of which was a Jew, in direct contravention of the 1st Commandment contained within a Jewish book.

There again, religion wouldn't be religion without paradoxes. The paradoxes are incontrovertible proof that religion comes from the muddled mind of fallible man and not an omniscient being.


Wednesday, 22 July 2015

Historically Significant


The Sun newspaper continues to defend its publication of photos of the Queen doing Nazi salutes  when a child with the phrase 'historically significant'.

One wonders when this publication, well noted as being a custodian of historically and culturally significant events, will have a retrospective of Page 3 Girls, citing historically significant tits?


Tuesday, 21 July 2015

It's a Conspiracy


Bugger me if I didn't see yet another example of people simply reposting a post, the provenance of which they haven't an inking about and making ridiculous conspiracy claims.

Think I'll put a child's scrawl on Facebook and say that Facebook ia trying to ban my photo of a Leonardo da Vinci painting because it offends Plymouth Brethren and see what happens. 


I guarantee some numbskull will pass it on.

Hay and I were developing a Playlist for the wedding party on Saturday - so many arguments about what tunes you can dance to. As far as I'm concerned, Dave and Ansil Collins' Double Barrel is eminently danceable.


As is Edwin Starr's Agent Double-0-Soul.



Monday, 20 July 2015

Work Experience & Pet Facebook Hates


No.1 Son is doing a week's work experience at JP Morgan Chase Bank in Bournemouth and I had to drive him there yesterday afternoon. Having neglected to break in his new shoes before going, he had no option but to use use his old school shoes, which are coming apart at the seams. I advised him to just say he comes from a poor family.

Things on Facebook that piss me off insanely:
  1. Those bloody Minions characters! You can't press page-down without one of the buggers popping up. The film makers have done a wonderful job of marketing these vermin, but as far as I'm concerned the only thing they seem well designed for marketing is tampons.
  2. Inane posts that stretch credulity by asking you to name a dog, girl's name, country or whatever, having no A, or B, or C. Truly inane and mind numbingly stupid, like the people that populate them with answers. The only thing they stretch is the minds of numbskulls.
  3. Ill conceived posts from Neo-Nazi organisations such as Britain First, and the people who re-post them with no endeavour whatsoever to verify the ludicrous claims made in them.
  4. (Add your own).