Imperial Stormtroopers in February

Why are they Imperial Stormtroopers? You'd think such an advanced civilisation would have Metric Stormtroopers. There again, it was a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away.

Hay and I were talking about surgeons the other day. They were not considered doctors in times past due to them not having medical training, hence them being called Mr instead of Dr. - they were barber surgeons. Imagine going to your barber and saying; "A short back and sides and could you replace this hip for me?"

Dry January is about to come to an end tomorrow. I didn't participate, I have to admit, but I think I will participate in No Skydiving February...

There was talk on the local news last night about proposals to make the Cotswolds into a national park. I'm in two minds; on the one hand people coming on safari will bring revenue, but on the other hand I don't want to see the elephants and wildebeest herded into smaller areas.

The Awkwardness of Norman & Viking Plastic

I'm currently reading Marc Morris' excellent book, The Norman Conquest. Using a variety of sources, both Anglo-Saxon and Norman, he attempts to reach a consensus about what actually happened. What I have repeatedly failed to comprehend since a child is why King Harold Godwinson didn't just allow Harald Hardrada to move south to confront Duke William, perhaps withdrawing his army to a safe distance on the Welsh Marches, and then take on the weakened winner of that contest.

Awkward - a strange word. Being awkward and feeling awkward mean two totally different things, but if you feel awkward you must perforce be awkward. It's a bit like feeling bad and being bad. However, when you are being ill you do feel ill. Strange language, English.

I was reading a story yesterday about how phones are recycled because of the expensive rare earth metals inside them. Perhaps we would recycle more plastic if we made it more expensive by inserting a tiny amount of gold in the plastic, charging for it through the product and then getting a refund when deposited at a licenced recycling plant. Doing this might even persuade packaged food and drink manufacturers to move away from plastic completely, as obviously there would be a premium on gold-infused plastic. Mind you, the rich might see it as having cachet value, but let them. Given the amount of plastic in use it would perhaps take the entire world's gold supply to fund such a programme. Back to the drawing board - perhaps a simple tax on plastic might be better after all.

The first sign of spring in our garden - a daffodil popping up.

Greeks Bearing Fines

Well, sending off the two requests to do a speed awareness course for the two speeding offences within a couple of minutes of each other didn't produce the desired result of two speed awareness courses. Got one speed awareness course (cost £88), one £100 fine and 3 points. Better than £200 in fines and 6 points though.

Here's a conundrum:

• Greece has very high unemployment.
• European citizens come to the UK for jobs.
• Why do we not see a huge influx of Greeks into the UK looking for work?

The UK is a magnet for Eastern Europeans, where unemployment is not as great an issue as in Greece, or for that matter, Spain and Portugal. Could the reason be the weather? I can't think of any other reason, except perhaps (and contentiously) work ethic.

Update: I was speaking to an economist yesterday and he suggested it was unequal pay that drove Eastern Europeans to the UK, and now that sterling has fallen and wages have risen in Eastern European countries (which was one of the objectives of admitting other countries in order to create markets), there's not such an imperative to move here to seek work anymore. 

It annoys me intensely when Uber-Brexiteers (aka Kippers) suggest the EU owes the UK for having saved it in WW I and II, yet they take no cognisance of the fact Europe saved England from the Ottomans in 1683 by stopping them at the gates of Vienna. If that had not happened they'd be Muslims (which is somewhat ironic) and, in all likelihood, staunch supporters of remaining in the ultra-conservative Caliphate.

Selfishness

This YouGov poll chart is not necessarily as telling as can be inferred at first glance.

The Scots I can understand - they're noted for their parsimoniousness.

For a start, when the above chart is analysed by age group, it's the very young and the old who are the most altruistic, as they are less likely to be encumbered by mortgages that take up most of their earnings and hence they are the most likely to have said they would forgo some of their salary - they generally have none and the question is academic.

Then there's the fact that a lot of people would not be willing to forgo salary for a mistake on the part of their employers, allowing shareholders to get off scot-free.

The split between North/South is equal, but the split between men and women is heavily in favour of women being willing to give up some of their money - which is a bit strange. I would have thought the poll would be targeted solely at men.

Male Kippers are just selfish bastards, as we all know.

Scapegoat

Overheard in the restaurant when paying the bill:

Landlady: "I'm so sorry about the mussels."

Chairman: "That's OK - it happens. If everything was perfect every time I wouldn't have been married three times...."

Is anyone else getting the distinct impression that Theresa May is fairly safe? Can't see anyone willing to step up to the plate and take on Brexit knowing full well it's impossible to deliver as a success and will turn whoever is in charge into a pariah dog. She's a convenient scapegoat while the poisoned chalice is in her hands - it is a damage limitation exercise at best.

Making British products more expensive through the imposition of tariffs by our largest trading partner will leave the UK in a very weak negotiating position on FTAs with the 'rest of the world'. Whoever ends up as the leader of the Tories will have to conclude desperate trade deals on whatever terms are offered, leaving us at the total mercy of people like Trump and his America First policy.

Even replicating existing 3rd party FTAs achieved through the EU will be fraught by simple virtue of the fact our market is a 10th of the size of the EU, so they will not be as advantageous. Not only that, but we will lose the clout of being able to persuade 3rd party countries we and the EU are not already trading with to accept EU standards, meaning a myriad adaptations to local market regulations - it's not rocket science. The vultures will be circling and that includes the currency speculators.

The only way in which Brexit can possibly be a success is to massively increase our export markets far beyond what we now have and to a level which is physically impossible to achieve in the time allocated - and for sterling to tank, which in itself is a double-edged sword as it would make products reliant on imported parts (which is a lot) more expensive.

Any increase in trade must replace the trade at risk through becoming uncompetitive within the EU, but when at a disadvantage by being the supplicant in any 3rd party negotiations on tariffs. As someone who is intimately familiar with opening up new markets, I can confirm it's a very difficult task in normal times, let alone in desperate times - it's what any exporters worth their salt are doing every day already. The larger market always gets the best deal.

We've successfully painted ourselves into a very unenviable corner. It will be interesting to see, if there is a vote of no confidence, who puts their hat into the ring and who doesn't. I don't anticipate any rush and the leading contenders must be desperately hoping to hell there is no vote of no confidence.

Safe Space for Dubliners

Seems President Trump wants a safe space to be provided for his visit to the UK with no nasty hecklers...

Talking of safe spaces and Presidents, seems that do at the President's Club must have been a bit of a washout as everyone who was asked seems to have left early. There seems to be a tad more decorum at working men's strip clubs - at least the men there obey the unwritten rule of no groping the strippers.

After seeing a documentary on the life of James Joyce I bought his collection of short stories, Dubliners. I've got Ulysses in my library, as well as Finnegan's Wake - the former having had one chapter read and the latter being totally unreadable.

What struck me immediately, and it never occurred to me when reading Ulysses, is the fact he never used quotation marks when there's a conversation. Apparently it's called the continental style, which I've never heard of before. All conversation starts with a hyphen. It's not surprising he should use this style when one considers he lived most of his life on the continent. The prose loses nothing from the lack of quotation marks at all and, in fact, it's an improvement from a view of legibility.

As for the book - can't see what all the excitement is about and why many consider it his best work. It comprises a series of short stories that are unconnected and you get the feeling that you're peering into the lives of a bunch of people for anything from a few minutes to a few hours, with no plot. A bit like a sketch show on TV with no punchlines to each sketch. The fact the stories are unconnected and have no plot perhaps is a precursor to Finnegan's Wake - no start, no middle, no end, no sense.

The writing is descriptive and somewhat reminiscent of Laurie Lee's, especially in the 3rd and 4th stories which remind me of Cider With Rosie, but that's as far as I'd go in extolling it. I wouldn't recommend anyone went out of their way to buy it - for me it was mere curiosity. I shall persevere, especially as I'm led to believe The Dead, which is the final story, is the best. Must admit I'm tempted to just straight to the last story, peasant that I am.

Speeding Haggis

Overheard watching an item on brain donation for research after death on The One Show:

Chairman: "I'd have no problems with donating mine."

Hay: "You could donate yours now - you've already finished using it."

Hayley has been having a go at me all week about my two speeding tickets, acting all holier-than-thou - her's arrived in the post yesterday; she was caught while going to Bristol airport at 5am last week. He who laughs last....

Asked our local butcher how much his 1.3 Kg haggis was - £12 odd, for God's sake! Bloody thing is just big sausage with less meat in it that a normal sausage. How do they justify the price? I can get a large chicken with more meat on it for  third of the price. Damned things are even banned in America and have been since 1971.

The GDP of Ukip's Art

I was reading a financial article which suggested that GDP is no longer adequate as a measure of a country's wealth. The GDP could increase substantially, but if that extra wealth is confined to just the top 1% of earners the country as a whole doesn't benefit from that increase. It's a very cogent argument in these days of top earners getting multi-million pound bonuses for just doing their job while the pay of the workers remains static. Some new metric needs to be developed that adjusts for the level of inequality.

Ukip is a spent force - it was created as a voice of dissent within the Conservative party. The Conservatives have now come to heel with a firmly right-wing agenda and thus Ukip no longer has a purpose. It was only about one issue anyway - but what happens to its MEPs if it disbands; who do they align with for their remaining time, not that they're in the European Parliament much anyway? However, the antics of Ukip reinforce the idea that experts have a place and hopeless amateurs have no place in politics. Experts, eh?

A recurrent subject of mine... I was listening in the background the Start the Week on Radio 4 the other day which had Andrew Graham-Dixon, the art critic and broadcaster, commenting on something or other. I only really paid attention to the last few sentences where Graham-Dixon said that contemporary art is not art due to the fact it's a free-for-all and therefore it's impossible to have a hierarchy in a free-for-all. He echoed my sentiments completely - it's impossible to judge good and bad contemporary art. Monkey daubs have fooled many contemporary art experts and you cannot compare a splodge by a contemporary 'artist' to a Vermeer, a Rubens or a Rembrandt - they're entirely different animals.

Candles for the NHS & Army

Hay was bought one of these expensive, scented candles for her birthday by a work colleague - the ones that come in a glass tumbler with a metal lid and the whole thing is intended to be thrown away when the candle is finished. It was presented in a very expensive, company emblazoned paper shopping bag. Must have cost at least £15 of thereabouts for something you can buy in IKEA for a quid, sans the tumbler. It exemplifies the scandalous waste that's prevalent in our throw-away culture. The tumbler will be reused once the candle has expired, but in the aftermath of Christmas I saw so many of these objects in the recycling (our neighbours all put their recycling outside our house, as the lorries don't have to negotiate a tight bend in the lane behind us). Damned thing sets off my asthma too,

We were chatting about how society has become obsessed with the self over the years and community spirit is not as prevalent as it once was. To me, this seems to correlate with the rise of the welfare state, whereby we shifted the responsibility for looking after the less fortunate (and indeed our own) to a faceless 3rd party. That's not to say the welfare state is a bad thing, but it's a trade off - many that would have fallen through the net of community spirit are now cared for, but we've become meaner spirited as a result. Or have we? Is it possible that those lacking community spirit now would still have lacked community spirit 100 years ago, which is why so many died in poverty or of hideous diseases?

We were watching some TV programme about incredible operations in the NHS. A doctor commented that he is doing operations today which would not have been contemplated a decade ago, let alone 20 or 30 years ago. The NHS is under financial pressure, and it's hardly surprising when you consider the medical advances made - and the consequent rise in costs coupled with the fact funding per person has levelled off.

I saw the BBC news item last night about a hospital in the NE and its stretched staff. Not an immigrant in sight, except as hospital staff. The patients were all, with the exception of one child, elderly.

A senior general has said we need to spend more money on the armed services to maintain our capability. Well, that's what senior armed forces personnel say all the time - it's in their interests. However, in this case I agree. Excellent argument for an EU Army, if you ask me. NATO comprises 29 countries, or which several are not in Europe (that includes Turkey). Any one of those countries can veto a NATO action. The veto problem could similarly affect an EU Army, but that could be addressed in its formation by use of majority voting. Additionally, the EU has greater ability to ensure member countries hand over budget than NATO does.

Poinsettia Death for Speeding Wallander

Overheard while watching Wallander:

Chairman: Isn't that Wossisface?"

Hay: "Kenneth Brannagh."

Chairman: "Wasn't he married to thingie?"

Hay: "Emma Thompson, but he left her for Helena Bonham-Carter."

Chairman: "Thought she was married to Tim Wetherpoon."

Hay: "Burton."

Chairman: "Thought he married Liz Taylor?"

Hay: "That was Richard Burton - it's like living in an old people's home."

I do it on purpose...

I see Ukip's Henry Bolton won't accept a 100%/0% vote - unfinished business. Can't really complain then about a 52%/48% vote being challenged then, can he? Seems he's an Arch-Remoaner - suck it up, snowflake.

Why is it everyone gets a birthday cake and not a birthday pie? I've told Hay I want a birthday pie for my 63rd in March and start a new trend.

Everyone thrown out their Christmas poinsettias yet? Miraculously, ours has survived this far. Normally, according to the universal law of poinsettias, they die within a few weeks of Christmas having passed. 

Even the coconut palm that I was convinced I'd killed when repotting it has managed to cling on to life with just one shoot that should sprout into a leaf this year. Not sure I'll keep it though as it doesn't look very aesthetically pleasing at present. 

Forgot to mention - when I posted about being flashed for speeding in Bristol and thought I'd got away with just doing the police speeding course, I hadn't banked on the fact I'd been flashed twice within a few minutes. Asked for another course in the hope the two applications would get mixed up, but I think I'm in for 3 points and a £100 fine. That'll teach me to not have Waze on silent...

Golden Rule for Streetights

Joining the Euro, not joining the Euro, the Euro being evil personified, the value of sterling against the Dollar or the Euro. I really don't know what people have against a currency union. We all used a common currency for millennia - gold and silver. How the hell did we manage for so long and so well in a global (or near as dammit, except for the odd cowrie shell and wampum belt) currency union?

If we were to switch back to gold and silver then we'd have to engage in honest trade with another party that already has some gold in their possession. People wouldn’t be able to just sit there and push a button to create new money based on vapourware and 'confidence' and Forex traders wouldn't be able to create a run on country's currency.

It would discourage inflation and government budget deficits and debt, which can't exceed the supply of gold. Governments, however, would no longer be able to reduce the money supply by raising interest rates in times of inflation. Nor could it increase the money supply by lowering rates in times of recession. In fact, this is why many advocate a return to the gold standard - it would enforce fiscal discipline, balance the budget and limit government intervention - as Greece learned to its cost. Several states in the USA already use gold for a number of transactions.

The weirdest thing happened as I was driving into the village for my Sunday paper - as I drove along one street, five streetlights went out in succession just as I drove past. Another did it on my return. It was like something out of The Omen...

Small Englanders

The result of a YouGov pol yesterday - Fog in the Channel - Continent Isolated...

Surprisingly, 55% overall thought it a bad idea and only 26% thought it a good idea. Younger people thought it a good idea and the older the cohort became the more they thought it a bad idea.

Given an added route for holidays and trade is undoubtedly a good idea - even if only because of the jobs it creates, one wonders why so many think it a bad idea, unless it's the Boris effect - they're making a judgement on a Boris idea as opposed to the idea itself.

The Kipper result I can understand though - they're not noted for rational thought.

The Chairman's Admin Service

Last February we invested a large sum in a start-up using a government SEED scheme which guarantees 50% of your investment back in the tax year following the investment. The paperwork that enabled me to claim the 50% was allegedly sent in the summer of last year, but neither Hayley nor myself could recall receiving the certificate. We've spent an entire week persuading my accountant to lodge the claim without the actual certificate, which he was reluctant to do - and we were fast approaching the end of January deadline for self-assessment. Getting another certificate could take months. I'd actually forgotten about the tax relief - I'd already submitted my self-assessment in November, so it was a case of a retrospective application on having my memory jogged.

Given we were assured by the MD of said company that the certificate was sent by post, rather than via email (as was our assumption), Hay persuaded me to look through my important paperwork file rather than concentrating on my email archive. Hey presto! It was languishing in a little-used section of the filing system, heavily disguised as an HMRC tax certificate for SEED investment. My accountant was happy, Hayley was happy and I was happy and the revised self-assessment was duly resubmitted on Wednesday - enough, near as dammit, for a year's frugal living expenses. It was a close call.

Hay has now suggested I set up a business administration firm.....

The Sartorial Elegance of Free Speech

I do believe I've reached the age where I can't care less about what I'm wearing - fashion holds no attraction for me whatsoever and stains on clothing (especially biological ones ones) are a badge of honour. Sure, I'll make an effort for business meetings, but in all other aspects of life comfort takes precedence over style. I call it the manopause.

Hay spotted these nifty items in a shop yesterday and suggested they'd be perfect for me as both day and evening wear. Practical, is what I'd call them...

Talking of the manopause, Being 8 years into it with no end in sight, Hay has been following a series of items on Woman's Hour about the menopause. One bloke rang in to the show to ask how he can best support his wife during the menopause. Hay shouted at the radio; "Leave for a few years, take the kids with you and lock up all the kitchen knives."

I note the government has banned a prominent American Holocaust denier, Mark Webber. I wonder how they reconcile this with government calls for free speech in UK universities? Methinks they just want an enforced platform for their views among the young, where their views are not well received. Mind you, Conservative views are not being that well received throughout the country at this present time, although the hedge funds have done well from Carillion's collapse by selling short. Rees-Mogg and his Somerset Capital Management missed an opportunity there, although the Conservatives allegedly accepted a £50k donation from one of the short selling firms.

Absolute Strength Carillion Candles

When checking the performance of Sterling I'm constantly annoyed at having to check it against several currencies and keeping a mental note of what's happening in each pairing. This led me to think about tracking currencies against something more absolute than just another currency, such as gold, but even gold suffers from the effects of supply and demand.

This induced me to do a bit of research and I came across the concept of Absolute Currency Strength, which is the strength of a currency against a basket of currencies. This is the chart for yesterday morning:

The chart can be found here. The meter takes readings from every forex pair over the last 24 hours, and applies calculations to each. It then bundles together each the associated pairs to an individual currency (eg, EUR/USD, EUR/JPY, EUR/GBP etc) and finds the current strength. The only problem is that it spans just 24 hours, which is not long enough for my purposes - a week or a month would be better. With 24 hours the results go up and down like the proverbial whore's drawers.

This problem got me searching Google Play and I came up with Currency Strength Indicator, where you can set the time frame from anything between 1 minute and 1 month and a sample of between 10 to 100 points in that time.

Don't know why, but I detest coloured candles, especially the ones that are dipped to achieve the colour. Hay had a couple of left-overs from her dad, so my OCD getting the better of me I peeled them with the potato peeler to remove the red wax dip. Feel much happier now...

Could someone explain how, if the government has existing contacts with Carillion and was paying for them, taking control of those contracts through existing Carillion staff and paying them, is going to cost more? Surely, with the profit element gone and the staff being paid the same, it will cost less than under the liquidated regime? The only answer that makes sense is if the government has paid up-front and the money has already gone, although I can't believe anyone would be so stupid. If the company is in liquidation, then I suppose the creditors would have first dibs on any assets, so there is that to factor in - and assets would need to be bought back from the liquidator by the government. However, assets would be going for a song in a fire sale.

Flashing Onion Cats

Oops - I made two posts yesterday by mistake. One was meant for today.

I'm a criminal - got flashed by a traffic camera in Bristol at 5am last week while on the way to the airport. I was doing 50 in a 40 zone - that'll teach me to have Waze on silent! Rather than pay the £100 fine and obligatory 3 points on my licence, I've opted to go on a re-education programme. Evidence shows that people who choose these programmes are less likely to offend again, but I wonder if they just don't think; "That'll teach me not to have Waze on silent again."?

Last night there was a lot of squeaking taking place in the kitchen, meaning one of the cats had brought in a mouse. It being about midnight, I wasn't in a mind to go downstairs and rescue it - not that I could have. I'm not making any accusations - it could have been Kitty, Blackie or Gingy - but it was either eaten in its entirety (a rare occurrence, as one particular item of mouse viscera is usually left for me to clean up - invariably the stomach), or a dismembered mouse has been deposited under an item of furniture again.

Lots of media attention to supermarket packaging and then Lidl goes and starts selling pre-peeled onions in plastic. Not a good PR move - however, I don't like peeling onions either. Until such time as supermarkets stop selling pre-prepared (not only peeled, but diced) vegetables, it's a bit unfair to single out just one vendor. Look in any Iceland store and every vegetable is pre-peeled and diced, or mashed - and in plastic. Anyone ever peeled a pea, or do you prefer the podded, frozen variety?

Neanderthal Racism on a DM Bike

Is it racist to have a go at races that no longer exist? Can you poke fun at neanderthals with no consequences?

There again, neanderthal genes still exist in the population - in some more than others (or is that a racist comment?).

Talking of neanderthal genes, Branson has reversed his decision not to stock the Daily Mail and some are hailing it as a move against censorship. Virgin trains doesn't stock the Jewish Chronicle - I wonder why? It has been said that passengers on Virgin Trains prefer the on-line version of the DM as it provides great sport by being able to read the comments sections and baiting the fascists. No self-respecting Libtard Snowflake, like myself, would be seen dead with a paper copy.

Libtard - a favoured put-down by the right. It's an oxymoron to start with, but the users don't realise this. There are literally hundreds of academic studies showing that liberals are more intelligent that conservatives. Then there's Political Correctness - a useful club deployed by the right to beat out any dissent as they rampage about the place saying unacceptable things. Freedom of speech has legal limitations but also confines that are judged by the broader consensus of society.

On another favourite DM topic; I was listening to an item on immigration on Radio 4 yesterday morning and the argument about its effect on local jobs was mentioned. This stirred a memory of one Norman Tebbitt a few decades ago calling on the jobless to get on their bikes. I wonder how people felt about immigrants from Liverpool or Sheffield coming in and taking their jobs. Then again, remember the phenomenally successful Auf Wiedersehen, Pet?

A Carillion for Recycled Wellingtons

So Carillion has gone bust - a familiar story of an obsession with size, takeovers driven by boardroom egos, the lure of the City and good old government incompetence. That's just how British manufacturing declined and now it's spreading to the construction / services industry. It's yet another kick in the backside for privatisation where a service has to be provided with a profit element. The British taxpayer will now step in to save the bits it relies on - another familiar story. I wonder how many MPs have shares in Carillion.

I resurrected my kefir grains over the weekend; they'd been frozen for at least 4 months, if not more, and produced an excellent batch of kefir 1st time - so freezing definitely works as a means of preservation. They're back in the freezer again now and probably won't brought out again for at least 6 months.

Why do socks come off when you wear wellingtons? Perhaps I need to invest in some long socks - could be why you see farmers with their socks rolled over the tops of the wellies?

Old people and recycling - what is it about recycling that they don't get? Open Hay's dad's bin and it's crammed with stuff that should go into the recycling bins, but no. It's the same with our elderly neighbours. Having lived though the war you'd think they'd gravitate to recycling quite easily, but it's almost as if they're saying; " I've done my bit."

Cheesy Charts

Trump and his cancelled visit: I was reading a book on Oliver Cromwell last night and a passage jumped out at me; "Vanity is a dangerous attribute in a politician." The sentence was not about Cromwell.

Used to like reading Rod Liddle in the Sunday Times, but he's become rather illogical since he came out as a Brexiteer. Today, in response to Farage's pronouncement that perhaps there should be a 2nd referendum, he suggests best of three. Bring it on I say - as the disaster that is Brexit unfolds before our eyes and the cost mounts (it has already cost more than the projected savings, not that there are any when the loss of trade is taken into account), each referendum will produce an even bigger swing to Remain as more of the Brexit propaganda turns to dust.

The Ukip Fuhrer's girlfriend's Tweets - you couldn't make it up! Talk about imploding...

Continuing with the theme of food, I spotted this cheeseboard in one of the local shops yesterday - a cheeseboard with three knives.

Now how many bloody cheese knives does one need. I remember when there was only one shape for a cheese knife, and even that was a tad highfalootin' when an ordinary knife would suffice. Three though?

Here's an interesting chart - make of it what you will - it reflects the incidences of the words NHS Winter Crisis in the press and is from Full Fact.

Daily Mail Offal

Harking back to an earlier post this week about United Cattle Products Ltd's restaurants in the 60s - the UCP chain - I was in our local butcher's yesterday to buy some faggots, a large piece of belly pork and some ham hocks and spotted a bag of chitterlings.

Now chitterlings are pigs' intestines that have been turned inside out and washed - nothing more, nothing less. I wonder who first came up with the idea of chitterlings? It's not as if anyone is ever going to become a chitterling baron along the lines of Bernard Matthews and his turkey empire. Looked up some recipes, but could only find ones from American southern states. Possibly something that US servicemen introduced in WWII when everything was used except the oink and the tail. Hay's dad remembers them, and not fondly either.

There was a highly illustrative YouGov poll about Virgin Trains' decision to stop providing the Daily Mail on their trains...

The Daily Mail is claiming, somewhat ridiculously, that Virgin's decision was an attack on free speech. I do worry about the Daily Mail and its grasp on reality. Still can't forgive Branson for suing the NHS or screwing up the East Coast Rail franchise though.

Manufacturing Hoodies

Brexiteers are hailing the recent increase in manufacturing output as a vindication of their position; however, what they're not taking into account are the following two and incontrovertible facts - not opinions, but facts:

1. Sterling has dropped from its value before the referendum, making our products more competitive, and
2. We are still in the Single Market, meaning no tariffs are being levied on our EU exports. You can check this, but I believe you'll find I'm right.

Rather that it being an argument for leaving the EU, it's a somewhat forceful and cogent argument for remaining in the EU - from a manufacturing perspective, at least. Manufacturing output increasing is a result of a drop in sterling, occasioned by the market's reaction to the mere prospect of us leaving the EU, coupled with us still being in the Single Market in order to be able to take advantage of the drop in sterling AND zero tariffs.

Getting this through some people's skulls is almost impossible, which just demonstrates how emotions governed the Brexit win, rather than rational logic. This alone justifies a 2nd referendum - following a period of enforced, public education at a government Remain Camp.

Now sterling is creeping up again but, once tariffs some into effect, Brexiteers had better hope to Hell that sterling crashes through the floor - which it probably will - so it's no use crowing about sterling's recent rise as if it's some magic talisman. The rise in sterling is down to a variety of reasons, not least of which is the political situation in Germany, the EU's most important economy, and the fact Germany has no government. This has weakened the Euro, but Germany will have a government in the near future.

Of course, the corollary of this is that perhaps we should threaten to leave the EU every couple of years or so, just to give exports a boost.

Ref yesterday's post about the 'racist' hoodie; seems I was wrong about the parent being on-set (one of the few occasions she was not), but right about the parent not seeing the hoodie as racist. There again, she lives in Sweden, a highly evolved country.

Spartan Army in the Jungle

Bit of a kerfuffle going on about the Army's latest, 'inclusive' recruiting campaign. Can't see what all the fuss is about myself - from either side of the debate. I would imagine gay people have been in armies ever since armies were invented - the Spartans, for example, were the most efficient fighting force of their day and pederasty was actively encouraged.

Given the nature of armies, I dare say the incidence of gay people among their number is perhaps higher than in civilian life. No need to advertise for them; no need to argue against their inclusion - they've been there since day one. However, the fact that ethnic minorities are under-represented is perhaps something that should be addressed, and this campaign does attempt to do that.

There's a row about a clothing firm advert and whether it's racist. The image is below.

Accusations and counter-accusations are rife on social media; however, as this kid looks under 10, it's inconceivable that his parents weren't on-set, or at least saw the photo before it was published. In my opinion, there is only one party that is able to judge whether this advert is racist and that is the boy's family. If they don't have an issue with it, then no-one else should. Strangely enough, the parents' view is not reported.

Ear Hair in Glasgow

Overheard while passing a couple in Glasgow airport yesterday:

Him: "Did you remember the bring the KY jelly?"

Her: "Shhhhh! You're being loud on purpose!"

I feel sorry sometimes for cats - they can do absolutely nothing about their proliferation of ear hair.

Take Kitty, for example; she, being a fluffy cat, suffers more than most.

Golden Globe Ritual Farms

This business of women attending the Golden Globes wearing black - hope it continues - it's also a style statement. A black dress looks sophisticated.

I don't have anything to back this up but, in my experience those who seem to want to ban ritual slaughter (halal in particular - few mention Jewish shechita), professing it to be an animal welfare issue, generally seem to be on the side of reversing the ban on fox hunting. That, at least, has been my general experience when arguing the pros and cons with each position. Anyone have similar experiences? That suggests to me that those wanting to ban ritual slaughter are not at all concerned with animal welfare, but something else.

I'm not convinced ritual slaughter, carried out properly, is any more distressing on an animal than giving it a blow on the head first. Exsanguination was, after all, the preferred method of suicide among the Romans, precisely because it was the least distressing to them. Cut yourself with a very sharp knife and you're not even aware you've cut yourself till you see the trail of blood. Studies have been carried out reaching opposing conclusions, so the jury is out. The problems with animal slaughter manifest themselves when the operation has to be done on an industrial scale - that's where corners are cut in the interests of profit.

Apparently if farm subsidies were to disappear, some 90% of farms would face closure, with a consequent crash in the price of farmland. There are 210,000 farm holdings in the UK, meaning farms would shrink down to just over 21,000. According to Full Fact, on average, English farms made a £39,000 profit in 2014/15 from their farming business. Only £2,100 of this came from agriculture, which is what springs to many people's mind when they think of farming. If we look at cereal farms alone, they lost £9,500 in 2014/15.

The options seem like a nightmare scenario should subsidies disappear completely - the remaining 10% of large agribusinesses may buy up the small,  non-profitable farms, shrinking supply to just a few large companies having massive power to set higher prices (a consequence of no subsidies), or we'll have to buy food from outside the UK - probably the EU. A crash in farmland prices could be a boost for house building, but the consequences for food production are immense.

Chess Pieces & Tripe

Given Hay has been feeling rather ill of late and somewhat low, I decided to take her for a short jaunt into Bath yesterday, ending up in Patisserie Valerie. I was disappointed to discover Patisserie Valerie had changed hands from the family that used to own it and had been purchased by one of the large food businesses - in fact it has changed hands a few times. 

It's such a shame that family businesses that have been going for years - decades even - end up as chess pieces being swapped and switched between large companies having nothing but growth as their targets. Time was when a good return, even if steady, was all that a family required - an income. Growth, especially in the catering industry, can only be achieved by expanding and putting pressure of suppliers, after which corner cutting is the only way to go, with a resulting drop in standards.

Looking at businesses that have sold out to the conglomerates drew my attention to a restaurant chain I remembered as a boy in Southport - The UCP restaurant chain - which my dad loved, as he had a weakness for offal. Until yesterday I never knew what UCP stood for, but suspected something industrial - apparently it's United Cattle Products, which makes sense when you realise that their key dishes were tripe and brawn. Obviously, UCP came about before firms started to consider marketing as a means of enticing a customer base; a chain called United Cattle Products can only be targeted at a specific demographic, and it can only be northern. Sounds more like an animal feed company than a restaurant chain. While it may have worked in the 50s, I doubt such a name would work today.

Genius Football Managers

A narcissistic man-child describes himself as a stable genius. You couldn't write this kind of stuff as a drama plot - it simply wouldn't be believable. Political drama plots usually centre on Machiavellian politicians who are rather brilliant, not idiots. What's happening to politics? There's obviously a competition between America and Britain as to who has the most insane electorate and most incompetent politicians.

It's all the more galling that the younger generation is being blamed for all our ills and calling them overly PC when it's (generally) the older, reactionary generation that's systematically dismantling what puts civil into civilisation, in the firm and unshakeable belief it's for the greater good, despite all evidence to the contrary.

If civilisation is measured by how well it looks after those who are poor or dispossessed it's failing miserably - civilisation costs, but vast swathes of the electorate don't want to bear that cost and are only interested in themselves. They are so consumed with themselves, rather than the plight of others, that they even go to the extent of voting for charlatans and imcompetents to get their way. Short term gain - long term loss.

Have you noticed how football managers are masters of the art of stating the bleeding obvious when interviewed? There again, there's not much else they can say when some of the questions are idiotic, to say the least.. "We just needed to get more balls in the net." "We just need to beat the opposition to win." "The boys just weren't up to it today." "They were better than us today."

Panto Rat

Went downstairs yesterday morning and was assailed by a smell of Calor gas - always a worrying sign. The gas hob was firmly switched off and the smell wasn't anywhere near the hob anyway. Thought nothing more of it till I smelled it again a few hours later near the TV. Hay suggested I look under the TV table - a dead mouse, which was obviously cat kill. Underfloor heating is brilliant, but not if you have a dead rodent hidden somewhere.

Talking of rodents, I wonder if next year's panto season is going to get a contemporary update with some wag developing a political theme to the traditional panto, having either Trump, Gove, Boris, Fox, Davis or Hunt as the villain.

It Can't Happen at the Dentist

I've posted about the American novel, "It Can't Happen Here" before. People have said there's no comparison (it concerned the ruling Democrat party), but I think it's playing out before our eyes as Trump battles his ex chief strategist. Look up the book and read the plot. Buzz Windrip, a populist President who stood on a platform of traditional American values and returning America to greatness (sound familiar?), has a massive falling out with his chief political advisor, Lee Sarason - aka Steve Bannon - who then manages to oust Windrip and implement a fascist administration. It probably won't play out exactly as portrayed in the book, but what pans out will nevertheless be interesting.

Hay has some serious tooth problems that are going to take a long time and a lot of money to fix - several teeth that are fractured under the gum due to excessive tooth grinding and there's evidence of bone loss in her jaw. She has to have two removed ASAP just to make room for the necessary work. I told her that it's not that bad, as I survive on a quarter of the number of teeth she has...

Yoda Power on Rafts

We're inveterate electricity supplier switchers. We are about to switch from Scottish Power to a company called Outfox the Market. After having a web-chat to one of their operatives yesterday, I'm convinced from the curious use of grammar that I was chatting to Yoda.

I wonder if getting our power through The Force we are?

Last night there was an item on local floods (Somerset Levels and all that) and someone from the flood defence organisation was interviewed. He said a whole raft of options are being explored. An unfortunate turn of phrase, I thought.

Dr Taggart on the Halal Trains

We were watching an advert for Taggart on the Drama Channel the other night. Am I right in thinking that Taggart is a bit like The Doctor and regenerates every now and again?

Heard someone saying that the price rises on the trains should be borne by those using the service and not funded from council taxes. What they forget is that people with annual season tickets into, say, London, bring money back into their local communities, which can be recycled within the local economy to support local businesses in those communities, benefiting all within that community. This provides an entirely reasonable argument for local council taxes to subsidise the increases on main line commuter routes, but I've not heard anyone suggesting it.

Halal meat has come back into the news with the government saying it will force butchers to label whether meat is Halal or not after Brexit. A bit of clutching at Brexit straws, methinks - they need something positive to say after all the bad news. The irony is that there's nothing stopping them doing it now, or indeed at any time in the past. Fake news, or at least attributing it to Brexit is fake.

I find it strange that those who voice the loudest concern about halal meat don't heap such opprobrium on kashrut, the Jewish version of halal slaughter. That's quite telling.

What's funny about all this Halal slaughter controversy is that my grandfather slaughtered his own pigs in his back yard in a manner that was indistinguishable from Halal, with the exception of him not uttering an incantation. A profanity, perhaps, but not an incantation. I thought Brexiteers wanted to go back to the good old ways...

Titanic Experts

Christmas decorations came down 1st thing yesterday morning and one of the cats (neighbour's, not ours) decided it wanted to herd three pheasants that had come into the garden.

Glad the holiday is out of the way - not the best we've had, what with illness.

I was listening to something in Radio 4 the other day where some old lady was complaining about experts (in the context of Brexit) and she used the oft trotted out phrase that experts built the Titanic. Yes, they also built the Eiffel Tower, the Golden Gate Bridge, the QEII and many more wonderful feats of engineering, not to mention all the scientific and medical wonders that keep us alive (and in all probability the complaining lady's hip replacement). It's an intellectually bankrupt argument to say experts are not to be trusted on the basis of the few notable failures and the sound-bite of the desperate.

Then there's the fact that the Titanic disaster was built upon and resulted in the passenger vessel safety rules we have today. Using the Titanic to rubbish all experts is clutching at straws. Had the Titanic been built by people totally ignorant of ship stability and naval architecture she would never have made it off the stocks in the first place.

The point of experts is that they have something called experience on which to base their decisions - and yes, some of those decisions can be fallible in novel situations. However, the complete absence of experience will have a success factor no higher than pure chance, and in many areas of expertise chance means almost zero.

Artificial Intelligence in Poldark

Overheard while driving past the entrance to Chavenage House:

Chairman: "Hi Bixby - look up Chavenage House."

Bixby: "I'm sorry, I didn't get that."

Chairman: "Look up Chavenage House."

Bixby Brings a search up on 'shaving horses'.

Chairman: "I'm going to switch tactics - OK Google - look up Chavenage House."

Google Assistant: "Chavenage House is a 16th Century Elizabethan manor house......"

Hayley: "No, Bixby, I did not say press the red nuclear button....."

Chavenage House, which is about 15 miles from us near Tetbury, where we went yesterday, doubles for the Poldark family pile of Trenwith House.

While in Tetbury I went into a charity shop and spotted this recipe book but, annoyingly, there wasn't a single recipe in it.

Happy New Year everyone!