Back to Jerusalem

Back to Friday's trip around Jerusalem.

Below is the Wailing Wall, where more magic occurs, but this time of the Jewish variety. Messages on scraps of paper are pushed into the cracks in the wall and God somehow reads them. Seems a bit pointless if you are able to merely pray.

Here we have the Garden of Gethsemane at the foot of the Mount of Olives, where a bloke will sell you what are meant to be tiny sprigs of the olive trees there. If the sprigs were indeed from the (quite small) Garden of Gethsemane, then given the number of visitors, the place would be stripped bare in a month. This particular olive tree is said to date from the time of Jesus, which is eminently possible given the great age to which olive trees can grow.

As for people's belief in magic - experiments with humans have demonstrated time-after-time that, providing enough emotional investment has been expended in its pursuit, there is nothing a human is not prepared to believe.

An observation from the coach; you know those black dots that are used on glass to prevent the glare of the sun coming through? Well, the black absorbs the sun's energy and re-radiates it into you car, coach, or whatever. Why don't they use white dots so as to reflect both the heat and the light? I'm sure some physicist can illuminate me.

The Holy Upabove Stone of Netanya

Didn't have time to do a proper post, as I didn't get back till late last night.

At The Folly we have a tradition of bringing back a rock from places we've been. These are called upabove stones - don't ask me why, it's just a tradition.

Yesterday, while walking along the beach, I came across this example - which I am calling the Holy Upabove Stone of Netanya. Doubtless it will become a relic. In fact, I'm sure that if you look at it in the right light from the right angle, you will see the face of Brian Cohen.

Jesus Theme Park

The company paid for my US colleague and myself to do a guided tour of Jerusalem yesterday. The tour was very oriented to Christian magic, as you'll see.

One of the first stops was a magic shop, selling all manner of magical items and spells that confer protection on the owner. I suspect the tour guide got a cut of anything sold - which of course was on a 50% off offer (yet the 50% off seemed suspiciously high for the tat available). I was horrified to see some of the party actually buying some of it.

The following is a rather fetching wizard's suit, which was available at the foregoing magic shop..

The box-set below is a really special deal - you get Holy water (useful against vampires, if I'm correct), Holy earth (not too sure of its value, but it obviously will enable plants to grow miraculously), Holy oil (an improvement on 20/W50) and Holy incense (better than AirWick).

This is a special little corner of the Church of the Holy Sepulchre, where some extra special magic occurred some 2000 years ago.

This non-magical stone below, somehow transfers magical dust to any non-magical item rubbed or placed on it. People were rubbing all manner of things on it - I tried my mobile phone, but I still only just managed to get a 12 hours from a full charge, thus I'd send the stone back to the makers declaring it obviously faulty under warranty.

Now this place below (literally) is supposed to be the burial place of the Christians' God - but I can tell you he's not actually there (the guide told me so in a conspiratorial whisper), so it's a bit of a scam. However, I do think it was quite clever of the Magicians to ensure the place of their God's death, anointing and subsequent burial are all within a few yards of each other - saves on buying property and keeps your market in one place so they can be fleeced to the max.

Apparently this most holy of Christian sites is also the place where the most hatred is shown between the different sects. The guide told us that, until quite recently, fights regularly broke out between two of the sects because they couldn't agree who had the right to pray there at certain times. Jesus would turn in his grave - if he had one. Religion, eh? Who needs it?

I could have sworn that this T shirt (in the Arab Quarter) said "Guns 'n' Noses" when I took the photo - it must have miraculously transmogrified inside my camera.

More photos of the Jesus Theme Park tomorrow, If I'm not too knackered on returning to Blighty.

For VSAT Nerds

Just for any nerds, the 7107 I showed yesterday is the middle product - for compactness there is the 7103, shown below. Whereas the 7107 operates in global C-band, the 7103 works in Ku-band, which is regional.

It is a highly efficient dual-offset Gregorian 1.15m (45”) Ku-band antenna housed in a low-loss 1.28m (50”) radome. This little chap, which due to its ruggedness finds favour in the offshore oil and gas segment and navies, would set you back a minimum of $57k. I'll bet you found that interesting!

Came back to the hotel last night to find my complimentary dressing gown had been taken away.

VSAT

Had a helluva job logging into Blogger this morning - everything was written in Hebrew.

This is our latest product - the 7107. If ever you're on a cruise liner have make use of the telephone to call ashore, or use the internet, then you'll be doing it over something like this.

It's called a VSAT - or Very Small Aperture Terminal. Essentially it's a satellite dish, but whereas your average TV sat dish doesn't have to cope with a moving building, one of a ship does, and has to maintain a pointing accuracy of well under a degree - hence all the technical stuff surrounding the basic dish. Unlike your average home sat dish, this one is for both sending and receiving data and costs around $94k.

Now My Countrymen Are Nazis

Taking off from Heathrow:

Coming in to land at Tel Aviv:

The view this morning from my hotel bedroom:

On the plane I was reading the complimentary copy of the Jewish Chronicle. Apparently the Dutch have banned the ritual slaughter of animals. The Jewish Chronicle's take on this was to call the Dutch Nazis, which I thought was a particularly nasty piece of victimhood journalism.

Regardless of your view as to whether a stun bolt on the head before killing or a very sharp knife to the jugular is more humane, immediately portraying yourself and your religion as a victim of modern Nazis is not going to get you much in the way of sympathy from anyone.

Holland is not the only country to ban ritual slaughter as barbaric - most Nordic countries have done so, including Norway, Sweden, Finland, Latvia, Estonia and Lithuania, while Switzerland permits the kosher slaughter only of chickens.

Personally I don't think there's much between the two methods and am happy to go with the science, which does seem to suggest ritual slaughter ain't as bad as people make out. Turn the animal into an anthropomorphic Peter Rabbit and your attitude is bound to change.

Breakfast at the hotel (which is really a bunch of apartments) is to die for. I'm looking a bit like a pig at present, thus I made do with smoked salmon and several varieties of herring.

While I sit writing this in my room with the door to the patio open, the sound of the Mediterranean surf lapping at the beach below is pissing me off.

Nuisance Texts - and People

Had one of those texts that tells you you may be in line for compensation is you took out a loan before a certain date?

I got 3 last week - all within 2 minutes and from the same outfit. I replied to one, simply to get someone to call me so I could have a bloody good go at them for sending me unsolicited texts - which if I'm abroad I have to pay for.

Well knock me down with a feather, but no-one called back. Bloody annoying when you purposely want someone to call back because you don't want them to annoy you and they don't. Doubly annoyed!

Yesterday I was reading about government plans to cap what an individual pays toward their care when elderly so as to prevent them having to sell their home. FOR GOD'S SAKE WHY - it's not as if the buggers are going to live there any more. Yet another plan to make the taxpayer pay for what individuals, or their kids, should be paying for.

There are 'heart-rending' stories about arseholes having to sell their parents' houses to pay for care. Well, sorry, but isn't that right and proper? It's as if children are entitled to their parents' houses, come what may. Isn't that morally and ethically wrong?

Care for the elderly should be means tested - the test being applied to both the old person and their kids. If the CSA can chase wayward parents (both make and female) for child maintenance payments, then surely children can be chased for parental maintenance costs - and the money taken from them at source? They should set up the PSA - the Parental Support Agency.

This is what I mean a few days ago about the misplaced sense of self-entitlement that is pervading our society. The state should be there as a last resort for the destitute, not a first resort to protect a middle class individual's investment or inheritance.

Oh, and while I'm at it - the government reducing the tick boxes for school trips and making them easier to organise isn't going to stop greedy and overly litigious parents taking schools to court if something goes wrong and they sense the chance of making a few bob in compensation, which is what puts most schools off organising trips.

Cameron's Big Society should be geared to the above - making citizens take responsibility for themselves and their families. Saving for pensions, caring for their kids, caring for their elderly parents; not expecting the tax payer to fund everything, as that leads to everyone losing out in the long run.

However, people are only human, and scientific tests on humans have demonstrated time after time that if humans are offered money by government, they will grab it with both hands. Government should not be in the business of putting temptation in the way of humans in this manner - it's cruel.

Don't get me wrong - I have no problem at all with the poorest in society availing themselves of state aid; it's the smug, well-off, middle class people who seem to think they're owed everything under the sun that really get my goat. Avaricious, self-centred bastards!

Warning! This Blog Contains Flash Photography & Nuts

The government is publishing new guidelines for teachers in England which it hopes will mean parents can once more send their kids on dangerous school trips in the hope they don't return.

The Chairman has heard that Prince Rainier has married again - to a facsimile of Princess Grace. I suppose Princess Charlene sounds better in French than it does in English.

French President Nicolas Sarkozy, fashion designer Karl Lagerfeld, supermodel Naomi Campbell and a whole host of pointless people attended the lavish example of overindulgence and garish wealth.

You know this mantra of British jobs for British people? I know how this can be achieved without resorting to illegal ethnic discrimination - make it law that any foreigner getting a job in the UK must become a British citizen and give up their foreign passport. That's not such a daft idea - I had to give up my Dutch passport on becoming British, as the Dutch would not allow Dutch nationals to have another passport.

I'm starting to get a bit pissed off by some of the myths surrounding public sector workers. People keep saying how public sector workers are dedicated to public service - rubbish! They're dedicated, like the rest of us, to one thing and one thing only - earning a living and getting by. If they were the paragons of virtue some describe them as, they would never, ever consider striking.

Public sector workers are often described as doing vitally important work. Again I say rubbish - we all do vitally important work, even (despite what I said in the 2nd paragraph) Naomi Campbell and Prince Rainier are important to some part of the global economy, which at the end of the day pays public sector wages. All jobs are interconnected in the global perspective within a capitalist system - it's how capitalism works.

Public and private sector are not that different - we just have different employers, one being rather massive. What is wrong is that some people, regardless of whether they work in the private or public sectors, have a self-righteous and misplaced sense of entitlement.


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Taking Our Jobs in Canada & Israel

Poor old Tim Henman - did you see him play Nidal last night? It was like watching an eastern European taking your job from under your nose. Foregone conclusion though - he's not English after all; northern European or something. Apparently an Englishman last won Wimbers in 1254.

The Duke & Duchess of Cambridge are really popular in Canada. Chairman Bill wonders when the Duchess of Cambridge will bring out her first album and be invited to be a judge on X-Factor.

I do wish she'd stop wearing those ridiculous little hats. She should opt for a flower instead - like that Suzie Q - or whatever that Burmese Woman's name is.

The Chairman is off to HQ in Israel again on Monday for some product training (satellite communications technology). They're keeping me over for Friday and most of Saturday to show me some typical Israeli hospitality - I just hope it's not a bit of gratuitous blockading.

My Israeli colleagues have advised me that when I return to Blighty I should get to Tel Aviv airport just in time; apparently if you arrive early and the security staff have some spare time on their hands they make sport of foreigners and single them out for "special love and attention".

Can't help feeling I've taken some Israeli's job.

Duncan-Smith Working For Japanese

Work and Pensions Secretary, Iain Duncan-Smith, who is part Japanese on his mother's side, stands accused of secretly working for the Japanese and attempting to destroy British industry.

In a speech to some foreign Johnnies yesterday, Duncan-Smith urged British businesses to engage in a bit of illegal ethnic discrimination by not selecting foreign workers showing aptitude, willingness and a work ethic, and choosing instead young British people who really don't want to work at all, thereby dragging British business to the bottom of the productivity league tables and allowing Japan to recover unhindered from its recent problems.