Overheard in the Pub

We were out for dinner last night at the The Bell in Yatton Keynell. Really warm and cosy with a couple of log fires burning.

Chairman: "It's just struck me that you only ever see log fires down south. Up north fires are normally coal."

Hay: "That's probably because they use all the wood up north for making clogs."

Time to Take the Lid Off

Screwed up enough courage yesterday to take the hardtop off the Merc and dust off the ragtop.

The problem was where to store the hardtop, as I have yet to build a garage for the house.

Problem solved by driving it into work and storing it in the warehouse for the summer among all the satellite systems!

Perversely, I think the hardtop looks better on the car than the ragtop, but best of all is no top.

The Chairman for Gustator!

I've finished the book on Little and Old Sodbury and have moved on to another book by the same author (PA Couzens); Annals of a Borough - viz Chipping Sodbury.

In the 1200s any male reaching the age of 12 had to undergo Frankpledge, whereby he had to present himself and associate with 9 others, each of whom took an oath to be responsible for the good behaviour of the others. Not a bad idea, even for today.

Did you know that in the 1950s you could post an early letter in Chipping Sodbury for 1/2d and have it delivered to a friend in Old Sodbury the same day? Says so right here in the book. Damned country has gone to the dogs since then.

I want to stand for election as Gustator for Old Sodbury and Chipping Sodbury, the function of whom in the 1200s was to be responsible for the quality of the ale offered for sale in the town. Now the only way of determining that is obviously by tasting. I bet there was a long queue of candidates for the role of Gustator.

Might also apply for the role of looking after the ducking stool and pillory, as well as the provision of collar and rope for bull baiting.

Anyone know why Americans rub their chopsticks together before tucking in? Seems a bit senseless to me, unless it's ultra-caution in case of splinters, although I've never had - or known anyone else to have - a splinter from an unrubbed chopstick.

NIMBY

Been reading a small books by a local historian - Annals of Two Manors (Old and Little Sodbury) - sadly no longer in print, but available from our local library. The book gives the history of the manors since Saxon times.

It mentions the events surrounding the building of the 2 mile long GWR tunnel just up the road in 1897, which for a time brought prosperity to the locale - along with "much drunkenness and dissolution" on the part of the Irish navvies. 

Apparently the original route was a couple of miles to the north of Old Sodbury, but the Duke of Beaufort, whose Badminton estate it ran through, had the route changed so as to not be too close to his house.

Where Did I Put Those keys? Why Did I Come Into This Room?

She calls it forgetfulness; I think I have too much stuff going on in my head and what with the storage space being finite, my brain is just making room for the more important stuff.

The Chinese relatives of the Malaysian Airways disaster passengers initially castigate the Malaysian authorities for not giving enough information, and once they do they're accused of lying. They can't win.

A Question of Competence

Was listening to Any Questions on Radio 4 yesterday and heard a newly qualified primary school teacher justifying going on strike this coming week because of the hours she has to work.

She complained about there being "less teachers". She's obviously not a teacher of English then.

Collected the car yesterday from Ludlow - love it!

Smells Fishy

Went to the local chiropractor yesterday for a consultation before undergoing some therapy for a frozen shoulder and some preventative, manipulative maintenance on my recurrent back problem, which is caused by a displaced sacroiliac.

I have no idea what caused the sacroiliac to go out of kilter in the first place, but tend to attribute it to Wally Stobie pinning me and my two mates against a wall in the bar of the good ship MV Egori in a scrum during a session of bar rugby in my mid 20s. Wally (the 1st Mate) was - and probably still is - built like a brick shit-house and could form a scrum front row on his own, such was his prodigious strength. He ran our team's front row (in which I was hooker) into a bulkhead and just kept pushing, resulting in my back undergoing some stresses for which it was not designed. I felt no immediate ill effects, but from that year on I started with the back problems.

Anyway, I digress. The practise includes an aromatherapist, a therapy over which I have deep scepticism. I noticed an array of essential oils on display in the waiting room and took the trouble to read some of the uses on cards below the various bottles on display. Here is a sample:

1. This essential oil is both a tonic and a sedative. Isn't that an oxymoron?
2. Rub the oil into the affected area in a clockwise circular motion. Will the direction of motion make a blind bit of difference?
3. Marjoram oil - for tension headaches - put some on a hot towel and place at the back of the neck. Surely the hot towel on its own will have infinitely more effect for a headache than something put on the skin, which is akin to putting a plaster on your forehead with an Asprin under it?

I also possess a healthy scepticism over some of the more esoteric claims of chiropractics, but tend to lump them into the same category as osteopaths when it comes to the manipulative side of the business - chiropractics tend to include a touch of metaphysics in their techniques. That said, previous visits to osteopaths and chiropractics have given me almost instantaneous relief (but no cure) for the back problem when it flares up.

Downside of Moustache Wax

Moustache wax is fine for maintaining a resplendent handlebar in normal circumstances; however, I have become aware of a dire problem - steam from a hot cup of coffee can soften the wax with the consequence of massive moustache droop and you looking like a bedraggled walrus.

People are to be given more control over their pension pots once they retire - is that a wise idea? Perhaps it is if the government wants to stimulate the economy out of recession - just imagine, thousands of irresponsible pensioners (which is what the government is banking on) grabbing the cash and blowing it on moustache wax, holidays, Lamborhginis, wine, women and song. A perfect recipe for a booming economy fueled by the elderly.

Talking of old people blowing their money on cars - it's my 59th birthday tomorrow and I'll be up at sparrow's fart to proceed to Ludlow to collect the Mercedes SL300 Mid-Life I bought. Can't wait!

Just look how clean that engine bay is - it shines! I'll have to find an old, disused barn to keep it in for the next 30 years.

The problem with buying old cars these days it that it's debatable as to how long we'll be using petrol to power them. By the time this jobbie becomes as classic as an e-Type (and of similar value) I'll have to invest in a hydrogen cell to keep in on the road, which will kind of detract from the originality.

Anschluss

Is history repeating itself?

In the case of Germany and Austria, the vote was allegedly over 99%.

It would seem that, under Putin, Russia is going from communism to fascism in a few short decades. The parallels are frightening.

Gunboat Diplomacy

I just can't help feeling that restricting the travel arrangements and freezing the assets of certain Russian and Russo-Ukranian politicians (when they've had ample time to move their assets) is as effectual as doing absolutely nothing.

Surely a fast-track induction of Ukraine into NATO would have made a slightly more compelling argument?

That said, if the citizens of Crimea want to join Russia, then surely that's a democratic right? There again, if the manner in which it was conducted was illegal according to international law (which most commentators agree is the case), then Russia has made a mockery of the United Nations and should be expelled through legal process.

One wonders whether the UN is headed for the same fate as the League of Nations.