Strap-Lines

Had to visit our local agricultural machinery repair place yesterday to get the new tyre for the ride-on-mower fitted (it took 3 blokes an hour of struggling and they still had to use an inner-tube - that'll teach me to buy a cheap Tiawanese import from eBay).

The firm is TH White's in Knockdown (near Westonbirt, which I always thought a good name for a band) and they have a marvelous marketing tag-line: "TH White - In More Fields Than You Imagine."

No.1 Son has a good strap-line: "Trust me, I'm a teenager." However, that's taking marketing a touch too far.

Bought a rotovator off eBay yesterday. Next it'll be a tractor. Must attend the Badminton Horse Trials next weekend....

Fowey

Called in at St Ives (wish we hadn't) and discovered Fowey, although the locals there do have a problem with English.

Meet ball? 

The aberrant apostrophe.

St Ives has become far too commercialised as an art brand. The place is an excuse for hideous, mass produced "art", of a twee Cornish fishing village nature, but you never see a single artist doing his thing. They're all in "art factories" where "the St Ives light" (which is what they all seem to crow about) is totally immaterial.

Fowey is less commercialised, but fast heading down the St Ives route.

AWOL

Gone on jihad to The People's Republic of Cornwall till Sunday to defend the interests of the majority ethnic English.

Mumble, arrrr, mumble ahhharrrr.

Perhaps just as well - got a puncture in the frontymost, rightymost ride-on-mower tyre.  New tyre should arrive today and (hopefully) No.1 Son will get it fitted for me while we're away. Well, he will if he wants a 2nd hand Peugeot RX6 or Gilera DNA for the next academic year (he's 16 now and his new school for A levels is in the back of beyond in Wooton-Under-Edge).

Cornish Independence Balaclavas

Seems the Cornish have been granted some sort of minority status. Not surprised; I've holidayed in Cornwall for years (and about to go again this weekend) and I've yet to meet a genuine Cornish person there. True Cornish people must be a miniscule minority.

Just hope it doesn't go to their head and they start squandering tax money on bilingual road signs like the Welsh, or ramming their language - which only 3 people speak - down the throats of the mainly English kids. If the BBC's adaptation of "Jamaica Inn" is anything to go by, then Cornish is some kind of mumble.

I think we should mass troops on the Cornish border to protect the interests of the English ethnic majority in Cornwall.....

Wonder when the Scousers will petition for minority status, or the Brummies, or the Cockneys. Ludicrous!

Seems the must-have fashion accessory in Syria and Ukraine is a black balacalava. Wonder if we'll see the Cornish wearing them soon.

Christian Country

Apropos of yesterday's post regarding two MPs supporting David Cameron's pronouncement that the UK is a Christian country.

There are two prime attributes one first thinks of when considering the UK.

1. A democracy, and
2. A capitalist country.

Neither of these is fundamentally compatible with early Christianity, which was theocratic and communist.

While you're at it, look at the laws in countries that are definitely non-Christian. Take Japan, for example - can you spot any real difference between living in Japan and the UK that are due to Christian  influence? No - we have exactly the same basic laws, thus the argument fails.

Look at the major holidays of the UK - Christmas and Easter. These are no more than Christian celebrations that were grafted on to the pre-existing pagan holidays of Yule (or indeed Saturnalia) and Eostre in an attempt to stamp out paganism. Even the word Easter is of pagan origin and has no Christian etymology whatsoever.

In essence, Christianity - and indeed any religion - is a belief in something that is impossible according the the laws of physics and physical chemistry. A bit like homeopathy (or politics), it's a placebo at best and a rejection of reason.

The politics analogy is rather apt in this case.

Delusional MPs

The UK is a Christian country and those who deny it are "deluding themselves" and ignoring "reality", two senior Conservative MPs have said.

And I suppose the belief that the immutable laws of physics were suspended some 2,000 years ago and a man-god-magician was executed, came back to life and then ascended to "heaven" at a time when miracles by self-professed Messiahs were a regular occurrence isn't self-delusional?

Scottish Pensioners

Gordon Brown is to argue Scotland should stay in the Union due to the UK underwriting £100bn of Scottish pensions.

A damned good argument for cutting Scotland loose, if you ask me!

Grumpy Riverworld

Had a pleasant walk along the Kennet and Avon canal yesterday between Bradford on Avon and Avoncliff. Happened upon a floating cafe which was being run my an old school friend:

This got Hay talking about boats (again). We were reading a Canal Pikey magazine while having our breakfast in the narrowboat and saw this:

More details of the concept here. Now I could get our builder, Colin, to so some fancy work with shuttering and concrete while Stuart, who made our stainless steel bits for the house, could fabricate a steel hull.

Also spotted this place in Bradford-on-Avon:

Those who know me also know that Hay's nickname for me is Badger...

What a Plonker!

Spotted this silly old fool who thought he was videoing the instructions on using his new ride on lawnmower. Turned out he was videoing himself.

What a plonker!

Antediluvial Sartotial Elegance

Was watching Michael Portillo on Great Railway Journeys and was horrified at what he was wearing. He's obviously going through marriage difficulties, as no woman would allow him to wear a dayglo green shirt, sky blue jumper and shocking pink jacket.

Either that, or he's attending a clown convention.

Was picking stones from the ha-ha yesterday evening and came across this chappie - a 60m~400m year-old fossilised ammonite from the lodge foundation spoil. This area used to be a warm, tropical sea - a bit like Somerset a few weeks ago, hence the preponderance of limestone in the region.