Friday, 19 December 2008

Friday 19/12/08

Right – past blog entries have been edited in accordance with yesterday’s notice and can be found here. Enjoy!

Yet another reported Microsoft Internet Explorer security breach! You’d think that if Opera and Firefox can produce web browsers that are immune to security attacks, then the world’s largest software company could once-and-for-all develop a relatively secure browser that didn’t require a security patch more often than government officials leave their laptops on trains.

I downloaded the patch last night, along with a few more Microsoft updates, but now I have another sodding problem with something called SHSTAT.EXE not initialising. Apparently it’s something to do with McAfee anti-virus software – but it’s a bit galling when a Microsoft security patch knocks out your anti-viral software.

Took delivery of some extra reserves of e-cigar e-liquid yesterday. I received a 30ml bottle of the usual vanilla, along with 30mls of a flavour described as ‘French Pipe’. I can report that French Pipe is a deliciously decadent melange of chocolate and brandy and is eminently palatable. Hay, however, is a bit worried about some of the constituent chemicals and thinks I may go the way of the dodo before much longer if I carry on with this stuff. She does agree though that it can’t be anywhere near as harmful as baccy.

Here’s a nifty little service, although by now it might be a tad late for Xmas. Crap Wrap is a gift wrapping service for men which guarantees to wrap your present in a typically shoddy male fashion. The advert states:


Deliberately wrapped badly. Too much offensive brown tape, untidily hacked at wrapping paper, rips in the packaging exposing the surprise underneath. Indeed, it takes a high degree of skill to deliberately wrap a present this poorly, so to confirm authenticity, some tipsy bloke wearing boxing gloves and a sack on his head will slap a genuine CrapWrapped™ label on the completed mess. Our ham-fisted gift wrappers will do their best at doing their worst in wrapping your products for you.


The Telegraph says, “Cheering news for lazy men… has perfected an authentic Neanderthal wrapping service… It makes you proud to be British.” If you don’t believe me, see here.

An Egyptian chap is offering his 20-year-old daughter in marriage to the Iraqi journalist who threw his flip-flops at George Bush. The daughter said she’s OK with the idea and maintains she would like to live in Iraq. Isn’t that a bit like saying you’d like to live in Bootle or Hackney? Can’t imagine the local town council where she currently lives in Egypt will be too happy with her statement. For Iraq to compare favourably with it the place must be redolent of Buncefield following the explosion three years ago.

Scientists have apparently discovered two people with touch-emotion synaesthesia, which is the rarest form of the condition. With this form different materials evoke intense emotions in the person afflicted. I’ve just thought of a synaesthesia joke - when asked what it felt like to have synaesthesia, one sufferer said, “Chocolate flavour,” and another said, “Three.”

Sixty-six countries at the United Nations, led by the Netherlands and France, have called for homosexuality to be decriminalised and demanded an end to legal punishment based on sexual orientation. A number of Arab and African states, as well as the USA, rejected the non-binding declaration. No surprise there then, although the US objection was to do with a technicality concerning the separation between State and Federal law. Syria, that beacon of democracy, toleration and human rights, said that it would lead to paedophilia being legalised. To my mind that’s a bit like saying that if the Palestinians were to participate in the Eurovision Song Contest they would be guaranteed to receive 12 points from Israel. I can’t quite see the connection - primarily because of the simple fact that there isn’t one - but I suppose the Syrians are entitled to their unenlightened bigotry and illogical conclusions.

Today’s post may be the last for a week or so, as I’m not sure that the place we’re staying at in St Ives over Christmas has an internet connection. I’ve been trying to set up my mobile to facilitate remote posting, but either I’m stupid or there’s something the Blogger help facility isn’t telling me. I can get on-line using the mobile web browser, but not with MMS, which would be my preferred modus operandi.

If I don’t manage to post again before the end of the week, may I wish all of you a very merry Christmas – especially my growing fan base in Cornwall and all those who have taken up e-smoking on my recommendation.


  1. May I take this opportunity To wish you and Haley A Very merry Christmas, Enjoy Your Well earned break, Just to mention that I was born Grew up, Married and worked in the Aforementioned (Gone really downhill from how I knew it) Hackney, Now like you divorced from Nasty evil Ex, (And equally Evil C S A I hope you dont have as many problems as I did with them, As they have the ability to make their own laws up as they go along)And living in much greener Ealing,
    Best wishes Dave2457uk

  2. Hi Dave,

    Consistency, logic and persistence have always rewarded me in the past. Well, that and the occasional bit of bribery, but that was Africa and I simply had to get out of jail to rejoin the ship.

    All teh best to you and yours.


  3. Have a Good Christmas Chairman...I look forward to next years comments with anticipation !!
    BTW have you tried the anti virus software AVG? its free and I reckon better than the half the stuff you pay for.

  4. Well the e-ciggies turned up, looked like they'd been CrapWrapped but fortunately undamaged. I’ll keep you updated…

    Merry Xmas and all the best for 2009


  5. Chairman,your thoughts on the TV programme EGGHEADS might be interesting? Personally I think the big bloke has a head like Humpty Dumpty and they all behave like clever schoolkids with their 'me sir',even when it's not their question.Surely the programme should be retitled 'CLEVER BUGURS'

  6. Anon,

    Never watched the programme. Can you recommend it?