A Brief History of HoL Reform

There are plans afoot to develop a device that can read Stephen Hawking's mind. Bit of a mistake, if you ask me. I guarantee that they'll discover that what he was actually trying to type was: "Pass me a beer, innit," which accidentally resulted in the publication of A Brief History of Time.

The question of House of Lords reform is big news here in the UK. In its current guise, the House of Lords is filled with the rump of the aristocracy, bishops, judges and life-peers - the latter invariably being from within the ranks of the political elite with a few of the great and the good thrown in for good measure. The HoL is a revising body and has no political power beyond the ability to delay government legislation.

The Lib-Dems want to replace the current HoL with a directly elected body having the ability (and not just the potential) to defy the House of Commons through democratic legitimacy. It also, by logical inference, dismisses the role of the Queen, as she is the boss aristo and de facto head of the current HoL.

The alternative of creating a HoL comprising solely the great and the good is an ideal fraught with problems; who chooses the members and how can that possibly be free of political interference? Given the political elite currently appoints new members, the current system is highly contaminated by politics anyway.

You can either leave the system as it is, or do away with it completely. If fairness is the aim, then there is no fair alternative; if scrutiny is the objective, appoint a team of constitutional lawyers to do the job. If it ain't broke, don't fix it; if it is broke, then get rid of it. Sweden and Finland manage to get along just fine without an upper chamber.

Epidemiology

I don't tend to have that many readers in France, but something tickled their fancy last week.

I spotted this neat trail of views that travelled down (or possibly up) the E15 motorway, which shows admirably how viruses spread.

End of Term Report - Nul Points

Has anyone else got problems interpreting these damned school reports?

Rather than letting me know No.1 son's position in the class within each subject, I'm informed as to how he has fared against his expected attainment - I'm comparing him with himself, which is a total and utterly solipsistic nonsense. If his teachers think he's not got much hope, then his expected level of attainment ain't going to be that high in the first place.

Yes, you get some matrix that tells you what percentage have achieved certain levels, but I want a single sheet of paper that's quick to read and assimilate - not half a dozen pieces of paper that need to be placed on the floor and cross referenced several times over in order to derive any knowledge whatsoever.

I'm not sure whether to box his ears or congratulate him.

Oh for some sensible education policies.

Deep Cuts @ Deepcut Sabbath

I'm not sure of the wisdom of these army cuts - you could almost say deep cuts at Deepcut. Releasing on to the streets some 20,000 people having no discernable qualification beyond knowing how to kill someone with a matchstick, does not give me confidence in the consequences for social order. Perhaps we should retrain them as teachers?

What with the price of milk going through the floor, it looks like it's time for UK dairy farmers to introduce Fairtrade milk!

Was watching a TV program last night that was advertised as being about Ozzy Osbourne's "battle against drink and drugs". I always though it wasn't so much a battle as an unconditional surrender.

There's a story in the news about the education system failing the most bright. Well, if it's also failing the least bright (which is the excuse trotted out for dumbing everything down), then who the hell is the education system actually helping - the mediocre?

Bought a new App yesterday - I like the results. It's called Paper Camera. This first adaptation makes the house look like something from an old Rupert the Bear cartoon.

The Standard Model Shardski Rates

It would appear that the standard model contains mass and is not a US size 0 after all. Looks like we're in for a summer of particle physics jokes, as well as rain.

This image just speaks for itself:

Apparently there are going to be apartments in the Shard (Europe's tallest building) which will be selling for £50m. I guess at that rate it won't be long before it's called the Shardski.

I can 't help feeling that the lessons learned from the Twin Towers has not been heeded and developers are just clamouring to offer up targets. It won't be long before some terrorist smashes a Higgs boson into the thing. However, given it's a little piece of Qatar in the middle of London, perhaps that will be enough to ward off the evil eye.

Enormity of Debt Utd. @ Charity Wimbers

Shares in Manchester United - are they bloody mad? Given how much Man Utd. are in debt, I'd rather invest in Barclays Bank, the Euro or even complicated Higgs Boson derivatives! I see they're listing the company in the USA - probably in the belief no-one there will know what the hell a Man Utd. is and think it's a new software company worth billions. Perhaps we should have a Public Inquiry....

Talking of Libor (and who isn't, dahlink), Aleksandr Orlov is no longer promoting CompareTheMeerkat.com and is overtly (and unashamedly) shoving CompareTheMarket.com in our faces? The bastard has sold out - doubtless subverted by the banks (or the Bank of England).

Have you noticed how the use of the word 'enormity' is changing. Even reporters on the BBC are now using it as a word describing something massive, rather than something exceeding the bounds of morality. I'm not against language evolving, but it's a shame when it happens due to a lack of knowledge of the original meaning and merely because it sounds similar to another word. Probably something to do with English not being my first language - and my consequent love of it.

Can someone tell my why George W Bush is commentating on Wimbledon?

George Bush - Wimbledon Commentator

Thought for the day - if you think charity shop is chic and makes a statement, have you lost the plot?

Highgrove Robbery for Higgs

Was thinking of taking the family on a tour of the gardens at Highgrove - till I saw the price. £70 a head is a tad steep for looking at some flowers and trees. At that price I'd expect Prince Charles himself to guide me round, or one of his trees.

There's going to be some announcement about the Higgs Boson today. That would have pleased Frank Zappa.

Quo For Peace

David Cameron has told the EC that Status Quo is not acceptable. They may only have 3 chords, but I grew up with their music - Pictures of Matchstick Men was one of my all-time favourites and came out when I was 13 or 14. He can't just go around saying they're unacceptable without letting us know what his taste in music is.

I wonder how many millions Bob Diamond's severance payment will be.

Watched the Chinese film Hero last night. Which is better - to live at peace under a tyrant, or for many to die in the name of freedom? Difficult question to answer and one which resonates down to today. I suppose it depends on the level of tyranny, but let's suppose it's benevolent, so your thoughts on that and whether any of us can ever be truly free?

Gently Tax Havens & EU Debt Adverts

The Channel Islands are saying they may want to go it alone and break completely from the UK (not that they're actually part of the UK anyway). 

It's a bit much really when the UK government facilitates off-shore tax havens, arguing that they bring much-needed liquidity to the economy (the banks in particular), and then bleats when British people actually use them to legitimately avoid having to pay tax. Kind of smacks of hypocrisy. Either you have tax havens and accept the consequences, or you don't. You can't have it both ways.

I was amused the other day by an advert on TV for instant loans. Buggered if I can remember the name of the outfit, but they specialise in giving loans to those who have been turned down by traditional lenders. One voice-over said: "Everyone else had turned me down." The reason for that is because the daft cow can't afford a loan in the first place and is probably up to her eyes in debt already.

If I wash my hair in Head & Shoulders Active Sport, will I become an Olympic athlete? Give me strength - these advertisers must think we're as gullible as insolvent people who want a loan, or Eurocrats.

Actor Stephen Mangan has admitted he is "bitterly upset" at the BBC's decision to drop the Dirk Gently series. The BBC said last month that the Douglas Adams-inspired show on BBC4 had not been recommissioned due to the freeze on the licence fee. I thought it wasn't recommissioned because it was shit, no-one watched it and it bore as much resemblance to the Douglas Adams stories as a James Joyce book bears to a good read.

Cameron has said there's a case for a vote on EU membership, but not until we knew where it was headed. I'd have thought that was patently obvious to anyone with half a brain; hell in an idealistic handcart - or rather, gravytrain!

In the meantime, what I want to know is where my Olympic bonus is?

Ulysses

I bought James Joyce's Ulysses in a charity shop about a year ago, fully intending to read what some call a literary classic. Got about half way through chapter 1 and had to give up - it sapped my will to live.

What with Bloomsday a few weeks ago, I thought I'd have a go at watching a film adaptation - at least it would provide a synopsis in an hour and a half. It transpired that only one film adaptation was ever made, as many thought the book unfilmable (I found it unreadable). I watched it yesterday - and fell asleep just over half way through.

Literary classic it may be, but I found it interminably turgid and totally devoid of a coherent plot. Am I missing something, or is it just that it is in fact unfilmable?