Child Benefit & Insolence

The UK government is to take away child benefit payments from families where one parent earns more than £44k.

I’m afraid they’ve got it all wrong!

As a general rule, one’s earning capacity correlates with one’s intelligence, or at the very least one’s education – except of course for academics and drug dealers, where the correlation is reversed. It therefore makes sense that child benefit payments should be paid only to those earning more than £44k, thereby disincentivising the dull and the stupid from reproducing at the tax-payer’s expense and encouraging the nation’s bankers (who are the epitome of probity) and yummy mummies to replicate.

Obviously, not all those earning less than £44k are unintelligent, thus Simon Cowell could start an X-Factor style TV program where low earners can compete in intelligence tests to get child benefit dispensation certificates.

The fly in the ointment would be that only the terminally dull and stupid would enter the contest or watch the program.

It has always struck me as somewhat illogical that the better off are paid child benefit when its express purpose is to assist in defraying the cost of bringing up children – a cost which the better off are, by definition, not as affected by as the less well off.

Of late Kitty has been bringing voles into the caravan and then eviscerating them on the carpet. I had a stern word with her this morning but she totally ignored me. I interpreted her resolute silence as insolence.