Technology

Flew up to Aberdeen and back on business yesterday in something that was only one step away from flapping its own wings.

While browsing the array of books in Bristol Airport’s bookshop, my eyes alighted on a 289 page tome called ‘How to Write a CV’. I was sorely tempted to lay the foundations of a companion publication entitled ‘How to be Concise’.

Just before the security scanning area there was a cabinet displaying examples of prohibited or dangerous liquids; some wag had put a jar of Marmite in it.

Reading The Times on the plane I was somewhat annoyed by a letter from a John F. Spellar, MP (Labour), who wrote: “Sir, In your leading article welcoming the Chelsea Flower Show, you rightly praised gardening. Yet you reported the day before plans to double the price of water in summer. This is tied to government plans for compulsory water metering across the country; in effect imposing a new tax on gardening……”

What a prat; he may just as well say that water metering is a tax on defecating, car washing or doing the dishes! Do MPs have nothing better to do than extrapolate policies to an absurd level of abstraction?

I also read that Switzerland is phasing out nuclear energy. Makes you wonder if they’re going to implement cuckoo-clock power.

I’m currently trying to rationalise the IT equipment I have for work. I am in possession of my predecessor’s Mac (can’t drive it and find it intensely annoying – although it does have some redeeming features), an HP something-or-other laptop with Windows Vista (equally undriveable, but worse so) and my own ancient, humungous and slow Acer with XP, which has a battery life of a nanosecond and refuses to connect to the work Wi-Fi network. Until this is sorted, I’m ineffective at work.

I guess I’m going to have to learn to drive a Mac over the weekend.