DIY God in Israeli Church Domestic

Overheard in the Caravan:

Hay: "You know how Nigella has turned the house she shared with John Diamond into the film set for her cookery programs? Well, I was thinking that once we move into the house you could turn the caravan into the set for a program called DIY Disasters."

It's holiday time in Israel which, as I work for an Israeli HQ, gives me enormous headaches this time of year. They simply have so many of the damned things, all around the same time. This week it's been New Year, next week it's something called Yummy Kipper (but why you should only eat kippers at a certain time of year is beyond me). Next month we have Sukkot - haven't a clue as to what culinary delights that one's dedicated to, although I'm led to believe it's something to do with booths (or is it boobs?). They probably set up booths and then sell all the kippers they made during Yummy Kipper. Their Friday and Saturday weekend is enough of a nuisance to me and my customers as it is without all these additional distractions.

I hear domestic violence has been redefined to include some additional forms of abuse. Why isn't the church - and particularly the Catholic church - up in arms about the government redefining the meaning of words? I seem to remember them being quite vocal recently about another redefinition that aimed to be more inclusive.

And that hideous, reactionary old fossil, Tebbitt, wants to hang everyone in sight again as a deterrent. It's been demonstrably proven time-after-time that the death penalty is no deterrent. Longer sentencing might help - like life meaning life - it would certainly stop the buggers re-offending (although there have been numerous murders in prison too). So too would hanging, but it's rather final if the hanged person was actually innocent or fitted up by a corrupt copper (shame on me for even uttering those last two words - as if that were even a remote possibility; it's like suggesting MPs lie).