Bronze Flappy Bird Sardine

For reasons best known to himself, No.1 Son downloaded the Flappy Bird game to my phone just before it was pulled from circulation. I'm now open to offers in excess of £1,000 for the phone, including the Flappy Bird app.

The media is going a tad over the top with Jenny Jones and her Olympic Bronze. Last night I was convinced our local news was about show us a paving slab she'd actually stepped on at some time in her life. It's a Bronze, for God's sake! You get shot in North Korea for only getting a Bronze.

All I can say is when the seagulls follow the trawler, it's because they think sardines will be thrown into the sea.