Oh, Come On, It's Unheard Of

 End of September and I had to put the wood burner on yesterday! Unheard of.

I have this continual argument with Hay about opening the French doors - if it's hotter outside than in, the doors shouldn't be opened, but she insists on opening them; "Because there's a breeze." Ignorance of the 2nd Law of Thermodynamics.

Similarly, if there's the merest hint of sunshine on the back patio, once again she'll fling the doors open, regardless of the fact it's 20 degrees inside and 13 degrees outside. "But it's warm," is her generic response - yes, maybe on her skin, but the air coming into the house is cold.

This is what happened on Saturday, resulting in us losing whatever heat had been conserved and necessitating me lighting the fire on Sunday afternoon.

Just a quick PS - the bloke who offered to take some of my koi came yesterday but couldn't catch a single one - they were too skittish. He additionally identified what I thought were koi as shibunkin - a relative of the goldfish and not the carp and hence poor man's koi. The give-away, apparently, is a lack of barbels around the mouths. I will have to get at least one genuine koi. As shibunkin and koi don't interbreed, there's no danger of a koi explosion.

Final Pondage

After months of trial and error to find the right solution, the 2nd hand filter unit is now working. Whether it will do the job as efficiently as my home-,made contraption remains to be seen.

After a couple of false starts, comprising a few leaks, a gate valve that didn't work properly and having to chock the whole thing up another 4 inches, it's swirling like a Dervish.

Most of the pipes that came with the system had been cemented together, meaning they couldn't be taken apart for repositioning. Solvent cement is fine for hidden areas than will never see the light of day again, as it joins pipes with no leaks - but it's permanent.

During the process of obtaining the correct unions and a gate valve, I visited SW Koi in Westerleigh. They had some beauties.

Here's the 1st and 2nd runs of the filter system:

Now it's just a case of monitoring it to see if it satisfies my requirement. There is the hydroponics to consider, but it's too late in the year to do anything on that front and it will have to wait till next year.

Options

Overheard this morning:

Hay: "I woke up at 3am to you snoring and couldn't get back to sleep. I have two options - smothering you with a pillow or earplugs."

Chairman: "Earplugs are a bit drastic, aren't they?"

Should I?

While we were away in Brixham last weekend I saw a Piaggio Ape van being used to sell trinkets on the harbour.

Now the Ape is basically a scooter with a van body attached to it. The steering wheel is a scooter handlebar.

I wondered whether anyone had ever done a micro-camper conversion on one and, yes, they are quite popular.

Here's a video about the construction of the one above.

I'm sorely tempted to add this to my list of projects; however, at a 25 mph top speed, you won't get far and they're not allowed on motorways.

500SL Loom

As some readers may remember, my 1993 Mercedes 500SL, which I bought some 8 years ago for £5.5k, has been languishing at various garages since it developed a misfire 2 weeks after buying it.

The misfire wasn't there all the time, but started after a short run, once the engine warmed up.

Given it was being looked at on 'Mates' Rates' it kept falling to the end of the queue, yet no-one managed to diagnose the problem in over 6 years. Many things were tried, but to no avail. One garage owner even asked me to take it off his hands in return for a pint.

I finally discovered on a Mercedes forum that Mercs made between certain years in the 90s had wiring looms made of biodegradable material and owners with these cars had symptoms like mine. Mercedes didn't believe that any of their cars would still be on the road 30 years later, but they were so well built that many are and the problem has started to manifest itself.

I bought a 2nd hand replacement loom from a car outside of the suspect years and presented it to the garage where it's currently resting some 4 months ago. Over the weekend they phoned me to say their new diagnostics guy had looked into it and the loom I'd bought for £200 was not correct for my chassis number; however, they pointed me to a company in Germany that makes SL500 looms to order.

I duly purchased one for £535, delivered. However, it's a 4-5 lead time to delivery, but it's in the pipeline. I could have the SL500 back on the road by Christmas. The company selling them even contacted me to check my engine and chassis number to confirm the one I'd bought was the correct one - and it is.

In the meantime, I haven't put any miles on it and it has tripled in value, so I'm not complaining.

Stop Press - received an email to say it's already on its way! If there's an Indian Summer, I may just get a couple of weeks of ecstacy before winter sets in.

Pondage, Again.

Finally found the ideal pond filter - not too large and not too small and it fits perfectly in the shed overhang.

Facebook Market again (£110), but with the added plus that the seller is willing to come at the weekend and take possession of my excess koi colony. He'll have to bring his own jam jar though.

This filter utilises a vortex created by the pump in the inlet side to separate any solids (on the right), a section with brushes and two filter pad sections, one of them having small pieces of plastic in the bottom for good bacteria to colonise. The twin outlets are on the left, near the top, using gravity to decant the clear water after it has cascaded from compartment to compartment. 

Spent £80 on additional pipework, unions and elbows, but I still need a couple more bits.

Each of the compartments has a sludge decanter at the bottom, but the one at the exit end is blanked off for some reason, and it's the one most likely to catch most crap. It looks a pain to link it in series to the two other sludge evacuation ports, so I think I'll give it a separate one with its own gate valve at the other end of the filter.

I'll be inserting the UV steriliser before the filter; however, once again, it's a mix of imperial and metric piping - metric for the sludge and 2" imperial for the clean outlet. The UV steriliser will stay indoors in the shed with the rest of the electrics. I could put it on one of the walls of the shed overhang, but the pump would be struggling to pump the water uphill. Laying it flat in the shed is much better for flow.

Should have it up and working by the weekend, all going well.

Just a quick note on the trial of sheep's fleece as a filter medium - it works perfectly, but the stuff needs making into felted mats for ease of use and occasional wringing out. As it is, I have large clumps of algae soaked wool, which is messy. It could be felted quite easily with an industrial felter, which just has a pad with a myriad felting needles, but that would be for turning the fleece into mats as a business.

Peugeot Conversion

 Received the cushions for the Peugeot Partner camper conversion:

The rest of the conversion is down to Hay, who is going to decorate the interior in her own, inimitable style.

God knows when we'll inaugurate it, but we are scheduled to attend a Prog Rock thingie in Lowestoft in October (The Crazy World of Arthur Brown, Atomic Rooster, Soft Machine and a whole bunch of groups I've never even heard of). Unfortunately, the organisers have a track record of either cancelling or advertising bands that haven't actually accepted yet. Can't actually see us going.

Hay attempted to get the taxation class changed from LGV to PLG, but to no avail; however, she sent the V5 to the DVLA and got it back with a demand for a £114 fine for not taxing it. She will remonstrate, as obviously a computer programme has intervened and doesn't realise that if the DVLA has the V5, then you can't tax it anyway as you could feasibly receive a new 11 digit reference number. In any case, it has been on private land while we've been doing the conversion. 

Yes, I know you have to SORN it if not using it, but there are mitigating circumstances.

Political Promises

 Interesting sign on the side of a tanker that empties septic tanks:

Brixham

Went to Brixham for a long weekend. It's where William of Orange landed at the start of the Glorious Revolution and there's a 19th century statue of him to commemorate the event.

The view over the harbour at night is beautiful and disguises the fact that the place has become a bit run down over the years.

There's a copy of Sir Francis Drake's Golden Hind in the harbour.

Here's some drone footage of the harbour:

The breakwater that protects the harbour is very, very long - over a mile. It took me about 4 or 5 minutes on the bike to reach the end.

Out at Berry Head, Hayley came across this:

Here's a view from the top:

Apparently it's a DVOR station. DVOR stands for Doppler VHF Omnidirectional Range. It is a type of radio navigation system for aircraft that uses the Doppler effect to provide more accurate bearing information compared to the older VOR (VHF Omnidirectional Range) system. Pilots use DVOR to determine their direction relative to a ground station, which helps them navigate to or from the station. It operates in the VHF (Very High Frequency) band and is a crucial part of air traffic management and navigation.

Phone Conundrum

 Can anyone shed any light on these phone numbers?

What does T, P and L mean? It's probably very obvious, but I'm at a loss to know what these letters stand for.

T is most likely Telephone, but P and L?

Security Device

Delivered a car to Weston-super-Mare last week and went past The Helicopter Museum, which I never knew existed. They had an item on display outside and I'm not sure whether it was an historic item or an anti-theft device.

Wouldn't mind one in my garden.

The Italian Job?

 Bit of a film theme going on.

When away a couple of weeks ago, I saw these minis at Lynmouth.They were travelling as a trio.

They're not accurate though. In the film they were the MkI 1967 Mini Cooper S. The roof colours of these are wrong, and the blue one and the white ones are MkII, the give-away being the rear light clusters.

The French Connection

We watched The French Connection the other night, hailed by many as the best film ever made and the one that made Gene Hackman a star.

It struck me that the NYPD should have had some pursuit cars decked out in Yellow Cab livery, as they were (and probably still are) ubiquitous and you'd never know whether you were being followed or not.

Oh Dear

Spotted in Chipping Sodbury on Sunday:

Trying to make money from these things is rather fraught, as the times they're mainly needed are when a lot of people need them at the same time, like at what are termed 'Proms', an American idea that has somehow made its way across the Pond.

This particular vehicle looks as if it might require a minibus licence to drive it.

Hideous, regardless.

Our House

It would appear no Google Maps van has been down our track since we started to build the house some 14 years ago and Google Maps Street View hasn't been updated.

According to Street View, there's still an old mobile home on what was a field that sheep grazed.

Camper Conversion Project

I spotted a Vauxhall Combo camper setup on Facebook Marketplace in Cardiff. After a bit of negotiation I got it for £210. and collected it in the Galaxy. That would have been a good chunk of my Winter Fuel Payment.....

It required a bit of modification to fit the Peugeot Partner longitudinally, but nothing my wood butchery skills couldn't handle. I made a new section that you can see in the photo below and the rest was cutting off some bits that were too long. It comes out in a jiffy, so the van can still be used as a van for general purpose van usage.

It's not quite wide enough for the Partner by a couple of inches either side, but it is more than adequate. At some future time I could use it as a basic template to make something that fits exactly and sell this one on. All it requires now is sanding, painting and some cushions to be made - I'm taking care of the first two and Hay is taking care of the latter job. It's going to be a muted grey.

She's also going to source some nice vinyl for the table top. I suggested, given my veneered dashboard expertise, I should veneer the entire thing in burr walnut, or at least the table top. She thought it a madcap idea. I think it would look rather nice.

The square gap is the table section, which lifts out and has a pole to mount it on, as can be seen in earlier photos. essentially the whole things is a bed that folds into a small seating area at the rear of the van. I'd like to mod it so that the seating area takes up more space, as there's a lot of room in the van that's wasted when it's not being used as a bed. Thinking cap on - perhaps just pushing it forward when not used as a bed would work. At least the main bench backrest would be supported by the cab seats.

£210 might seem a tad expensive, but if I were to do it myself it would require a few iterations and look nowhere near as nice. I'd probably have to spend that in wood and screws - several times over. Having this as a template helps enormously if I decide to do new one with some mods.

Here's a photo of a new one in a Vauxhall Combo, which it was designed for.

I think I might reverse its position, as getting into and out of the Partner is easier through the sliding side door than the back doors.

Hay is trying to get the Partner's classification changed from an LGV to a PLG, as the road tax is half, but it's very difficult. You need photographic evidence of the change to a camper and I believe some windows in the rear are necessary, which we don't have, as it's a stealth camper. However, we'll see what the DVLA say.

Is This a Record?

Before I proceed with Today's post, a Stop Press on the cutlery welding; stainless steel of the thickness of cutlery does not spot weld......

Spotted Saturday week when out shopping:

Above is the local Home Bargains. Below is the local Parker's Garden Centre where an entire aisle has been cleared for Christmas lights.

Halloween's still a month and a half away, for God's sake - pathetic. We were having a heatwave this time last year.

Metal Dragonflies

Apropos of yesterday's post on felting, while at the gift shop I mentioned we also spotted some dragonflies made from cutlery. I'm definitely going to have a go at making some of these and managed to obtain a good supply of 2nd hand cutlery from our local 2nd hand emporium for under a fiver, but lacking the knives. Essentially it's cutting with a disc cutter and a touch of tacking with my MiG welder.

I have all the necessary tools, so away I went on fashioning a body. I selected some rather nice looking forks and cut off the ends of two and tacked them to the remaining one, less the tines.

Not a bad 1st attempt on a body and tail - the metal being thick does help - now to find some knives. I'm sure I saw some in Hay's cutlery drawer......

There - knives included. Stitched together athwartships, but not yet fixed to the body.

Need a head and some ball bearings for eyes. Don't forget this is a 1st attempt, during which I learn what not to do.

Given the thickness of the metal, I did think of using my spot welder and may give that a go too. A spot welder doesn't spatter and the weld would be much cleaner.

Below are the wings welded to the body, but they gave me enormous problems. First and foremost spatter, but that's primarily because I've run out of shielding gas. I also tried to give the wings some texture by abrading them with a Roloc grinder, but it was far too coarse, but it's a prototype so not critical. I decided to overlap the 2 sets of wings slightly, which improves the aesthetic.

For legs I need forks with very long tines, which I currently lack; however, I had a spare door knob and spindle from the shed and thought I'd use that as a somewhat wobbly stand. The wobbliness was cured by grinding the end of the knob a little to create a small flat spot. That said, I don't have an endless supply of doorknobs to use for the next refinement.

Next is the head, which will counterbalance the whole thing. I've ordered 100 x 10mm ball bearings from e-Bay for £4.75, which won't arrive till next week.

I really need a metal buffer. 

Felting

While away in Porlock we visited a gift shop in Selworthy and Hay spotted a felted owl, similar to the one below, maintaining she's going to have a go at making one using the excess sheep's fleece I bought for the pond filtration system.

To help her I bought a set of felting needles. They have siny serrations that felt the wool as you stab it.  Felting means entangling the fibres to compact it and is achieved either by using hot water and pounding the wool for a long time, or the needle method, whereby the serrations on the needles grab the fibres as they go in and drag them internally to tangle. The needle method allows fine tuning of the shape.

Intrigued, I thought I'd give it a go and managed to produce this after about 10 minutes - the start of a Shaun the Sheep or a snowman. About as fine tuned as a Trabant, but it works - it just takes time and plenty of blood in your fingers for when you accidentally stab yourself.

I initially hand washed the wool thoroughly to get rid of the lanolin and then carded it with a couple of cat brushes to get rid of the detritus - straw and the like-  that washing couldn't remove.

Bread and Circuses

There’s a real inconsistency when it comes to how we look at two very similar tragic events. 

On one side, you’ve got the Jeremy Kyle Show - a total circus, built to humiliate people for ratings. It was called 'human bear-baiting'. The whole thing was about creating drama and putting vulnerable people in the spotlight for the entertainment of others. When someone tragically took their own life after appearing on the show, it was obvious to many that the show’s intense, confrontational format might have played a part. But, surprisingly, we’re told the show wasn’t really to blame, despite how toxic it clearly was. The show was shut down, yes, but ITV and those involved tried to wash their hands of responsibility, claiming it wasn’t the cause, and a coroner agreed.

 

Now, compare that to the case of a headteacher who took her life after an Ofsted inspection. Here’s someone who’s spent their career helping kids, working under constant pressure from Ofsted to meet endless standards and targets. After a stressful inspection, this headteacher felt so crushed by the pressure that she took her life. And in this case, the connection to Ofsted was acknowledged - there was recognition that the extreme stress imposed by inspections can drive people to despair. The same kind of pressure you’d see on Jeremy Kyle - public judgement, harsh criticism - exists here too, but in a quieter, more bureaucratic way. 

So here’s the inconsistency: both situations involve intense pressure and public humiliation, but only one - Ofsted - is declared to have a causal link to a suicide. 

The Best Room

I'm not sure why, but the other day I was thinking about a 60s phenomenon called the "Best Room". 

Back in the '60s, loads of British homes had what was known as the "Best Room" – a bit of a shrine, really. It was the room you’d spend ages decorating with the finest furniture, all top notch, but no one ever actually got to sit in it unless there were guests over. You’d have a posh sofa, maybe a sideboard with a few bits of fancy china on display, all bought to impress, but heaven forbid you’d relax in there on a normal day.

Because no-one ever went into it normally, the heating was always off and it smelled a little musty and damp in the winter. Children were usually banned from even setting foot in the Best Room, and if you did, you’d get short shrift. Some families even went as far as covering the furniture in plastic to keep it spotless – the sort of thing that would stick to your legs if you dared sit down. The TV, if there was one, might be off-limits in there too – not that you'd ever think to switch it on when this was the room for showing off your good taste, not for lounging about.

It was all about keeping up appearances. When company came round, the door would finally be opened, and you’d shuffle in, like you were putting on a show of how respectable you were. The rest of the time, it stayed locked away from everyday life, with the family cramped into the backroom where everything actually happened.

By the time the '70s rolled in, the Best Room started to seem a bit old hat. People were more laid back and thought it a bit daft to have a room no-one ever used. That heralded the demolition of the wall separating the Best Room and the more comfortable Living Room.

Nowadays, most people have a laugh about it, but back then, having a Best Room was serious business – a symbol that you were moving up in the world, even if you never really got to enjoy it!

When Words Lose Their Meaning

 Look at this bottle - BOTTLE - of cider:

It says draught cider (actually it says cyder, but we'll leave that archaic spelling for now) - but it's in a bottle.

I made an enquiry of ChatGPT: "The term "draught" on the bottle of Aspall cider you have there might seem a bit confusing, given that it's in a bottle rather than being served directly from a tap or cask. In this case, "draught" is used to evoke the idea of the cider being similar in taste and quality to what you might get from a traditional draught serve, even though it's bottled.

"This usage is not uncommon in the drinks industry, where some products are branded as "draught" to indicate that they offer a similar experience to their on-tap counterparts, often with a focus on freshness and a particular style of carbonation or flavour that mimics draught cider. So, while it might feel a bit misleading, it's essentially a marketing term to suggest that this bottled cider has the qualities you would associate with a draught cider."

One wonders when they'll introduce a cask ale that; "Tastes just like bottled ale." The whole point of a cask is that it is considered better than bottled by enthusiasts due to its natural conditioning, lower carbonation, warmer serving temperature, traditional serving method - and the authentic pub experience it provides.

Ford KA!

Wanting to get a better bike than the one I have (it's the old one I converted to 50cc petrol, and ended up being brained on it and having 4 holes bored into my head), I went to our local 2nd hand emporium and purchased a rather swish looking job for £65.

Research shows it to be an Apollo / Ford collaboration called the Ford Ranger. Never heard of car manufacturers collaborating with bike manufacturers before. However, looking it up I found the following:

• BMW & Specialized – BMW has had several collaborations with bike manufacturers, including Specialized. These bikes often reflect BMW’s precision engineering and design ethos.
• Porsche & Rotwild – Porsche partnered with Rotwild to create high-performance electric mountain bikes. These collaborations are geared toward luxury and high performance.
• Ferrari & Bianchi – Ferrari teamed up with renowned Italian bicycle manufacturer Bianchi to produce bicycles that embody the brand’s sporty, lightweight, and fast ethos, similar to Ferrari’s supercars.
• McLaren & Specialized – McLaren collaborated with Specialized to develop ultra-light, high-performance road bikes, such as the S-Works McLaren Tarmac. McLaren’s expertise in carbon fibre technology played a key role in the design.
• Aston Martin & Storck – Aston Martin worked with German bicycle manufacturer Storck to develop high-end, limited-edition bicycles, with a focus on aerodynamics and sleek design.
• Mercedes-Benz & Argon 18 – Mercedes-Benz partnered with Argon 18, a Canadian bicycle manufacturer, to create high-performance road bikes, with a focus on quality craftsmanship and innovative design.
• Lamborghini & Cervélo – Lamborghini and Cervélo partnered to create a limited-edition version of Cervélo’s P5X triathlon bike. The design reflected Lamborghini’s bold styling, with the focus on aerodynamics and speed.
• Audi & Renovo – Audi collaborated with Renovo to produce high-performance wooden bicycles, reflecting the brand’s craftsmanship, design, and performance ethos.

The one I got was obviously at the budget end of the scale.

I could tell immediately why the previous owner had gotten rid of it - the piston seat suspension clicked like anything and the brakes squealed. The solution? Slackening off one end of the damper so it moved freely and simply riding the bike for a mile or two to bed the brake rubber in.

It has obviously never been used and was a bit of a bargain. OK, it has rim brakes, but the gears are Shimano. The gears are selected by a twist grip on the inner edge of the hand grips, which I find easier to operate than levers.

The original price was between £150 and £250 when they came out in the 2000s, which was well before the lockdown mania for bikes, which resulted in prices going through the roof. At today's values they'd be £250 to £420, with this one being at the higher end of the range, which is still the cheap end.

Not so sure about the rear wheel panel - that may have to come off, as it could suffer from side windage.

Too Many Koi

 I'm going to have to get rid of some of these koi before much longer.

They're certainly becoming more tame with the feeding ritual. When Hay gets into the water for her morning swims they mob her and nibble at her legs.

There are more than the ones you can see - there's at least 5 black ones which are difficult to spot. One is rather nice, having a silvery underside and jet black topside.

I feared I was overfeeding them, as I'm starting to get blankets of filamentous algae in my physical filter mats. That's usually a sign to too much nutrient from uneaten food. Once a day, with enough to last 2 minutes is enough, by all accounts. 

As a precaution I did a pond test with some strips and fed the results into Chat GPT, which came back as follows:

"Your pond water parameters look quite balanced, with just a few things to note:

"pH (7.4): This is within a good range for most pond fish and plants. Slightly alkaline, which is ideal for fish like goldfish or koi.

"KH (15 dKH): The carbonate hardness (KH) is quite high. This means your water has a good buffering capacity, which helps prevent sudden pH swings. This is good, especially in outdoor ponds.

"GH (10 dGH): Your general hardness (GH) is moderate. It suggests there's enough calcium and magnesium in the water, which is beneficial for fish health, shell growth in snails, and plant vitality.

"NO3 (Nitrate) 0: Having zero nitrates is unusual in established ponds, as it's typically a byproduct of the nitrogen cycle. If your pond is relatively new or well-filtered with lots of plants, that could explain it.

"NO2 (Nitrite) 0: This is ideal, as nitrite is harmful to fish even in small amounts.

"Overall, your pond seems to have stable, healthy conditions. If you're adding plants or fish, it should be safe to do so based on these readings. Just keep an eye on the nitrate levels to ensure the nitrogen cycle is functioning properly."

So, everything is looking just fine.

Term Time Holidays

Term time holidays are in the news again.

Parents who prioritise cheap holidays over their children's education demonstrate a clear disregard for the value of education, which is a privilege, not an option to be undermined for personal convenience. 

Term-time absences disrupt not only the child’s learning but the entire classroom, and the minimal fines imposed clearly aren't a deterrent, often just viewed as part of the holiday cost. 

If parents are so quick to neglect their children’s education for a bargain, perhaps they should be left to take full responsibility for it through homeschooling, rather than relying on the state to fix the gaps they create.

I'm certain that having their children excluded from the state system after the first warning will act as a deterrent - certainly more so than a small fine. If their kids are homeschooled then they can take them away whenever they want, but someone's going to have to give up work.

Another solution could be to levy a charge on the parents to pay for a one-to-one tutor to get the child back up to speed without affecting the rest of the class. The problem would be getting them to pay.