Hasty Ice Cream

There’s something deeply intoxicating about the front of a shiny machine, isn’t there? There I was, like a moth to flame, utterly mesmerised by the brushed steel frontage of my newly acquired Andrew James ice cream maker (2nd hand). The logo gleamed. The vent grille winked seductively. The control panel, festooned with the promise of frozen dreams, practically whispered sweet nothings in my ear.

I swooned.

And in swooning, I neglected to perform that most basic of checks – the one where you walk round the back like a suspicious old uncle at a car boot sale, tapping panels and muttering “Mmm, bit dodgy”.

No. I simply plugged it in and set about making a yoghurt gelato so heavenly that the Archangel Gabriel himself would’ve queued up for seconds.

It wasn’t even me who spotted the calamity. It was Hayley. A passing glance, a slight narrowing of the eyes, and there it was – a giant, ragged hole torn into the side of the casing. The plastic was catastrophically wounded, as if it had gone three rounds with a disgruntled grizzly bear. The metal front? Immaculate. The compressor? Chilling merrily to sub-Arctic temperatures. But the poor plastic – oh, the plastic – looked like a bus had driven through it.

Of course, by this time the golden window to complain had long since slammed shut. I had spent it mesmerised by a pretty façade, while real disaster lurked round the corner.

Time for duct tape, or just leave it as it aids heat dissipation.

Let this be a warning to you all: never trust the frontage. Trust the sides, the back, the underneath – those humble, neglected regions where all truths are laid bare. The front is a liar, a charlatan, a temptress in brushed aluminium clothing.

Still – the frozen yoghurt was utterly magnificent. A bittersweet victory, housed in a machine that looks like it narrowly survived the Blitz.

Back to the ice cream. Most recipes call for a custard made with egg yoks, but that seems rather wasteful to yours truly. I researched a bit more and discovered that Ben & Jerrys and Haagen Daz (my favourites) don't use egg yolks and, instead, use powdered milk to thicken the mix. Further research suggested Greek yoghurt and cream, with a bit of honey and a teaspoon of vanilla essence, works well.

I tried it and - wow! it was delicious. I made a further batch with lemon rind mixed in - even better. I also bought some Lidl de Luxe vanilla custard and tried to make icre cream from that. Absolutely delicious!

I shall be trying more variants.