Spinning Keys

This is something I've been meaning to post for a while, but keep forgetting - it's called old age; the forgetting bit, not what I'm going to post about, although a disturbing old age thing did happen this week, which I'll expand on later.

If, when in a car, you look at the wheels of a car overtaking you and then look forwards again, for a very split second, the wheel you were looking at appears stationary. It's not the stroboscopic, or waggon wheel effect from films, where the frame speed can make a wheel appear to go backwards.

It must have something to do with the sudden shift of the wheel from the focus of your eye to the peripheral vision and the different cells than kick into action. Try it yourself, as it could be just me.

As for the age related thing: Now let me remember what I was going to say.... Ah yes! I was looking for my keys the other day and couldn't find them. They're not exactly unrecognisable, having my car keys and a plethora of work keys on the keyring, not to mention a Saab keyfob.

I looked in the usual place - the key rack, but they weren't there. Looked on my desk - no. Went out to the car to check I hadn't left them there - no. Back to the key rack - again no. Went around the house several times, but still no keys. Finally went back to the key rack and bingo - there they were. I'd actually been looking at the damned things at least twice, but hand'nt recognised them.

School Meal Vouchers

Gandhi is credited with the aphorism; “A civilization is measured by how well it treats its weakest members.” This is pertinent today with the furore over free school meals for the most deprived. No child should go hungry – it’s abuse, pure and simple. 

The threshold for free school meals, essentially, is a household income of £16,190, which is a very small amount on which to raise a family and pay for all the essentials. I certainly wouldn’t like to have to live on that amount. 

That said, there are stories in the red top press of parents spending school meal vouchers on mom-essentials, such as beer. Now if someone on under £16,190 a year can afford to buy beer with school meal vouchers, that suggests to me that either the kids need taking into care, or the parent is self-employed and fiddling his or her taxes through the black economy. Given that tax fiddling among the self-employed is endemic (the ‘how much for cash’ syndrome, in which the giver and receiver collude), I would suggest the latter to be more likely. 

I saw a Facebook post from a woman in receipt of free school meals bemoaning that she’s about to go on maternity leave, which will leave her in dire straits. I empathise, but I would nevertheless question the wisdom of having more children when she obviously can’t afford to feed them herself without state support. It’s akin to buying a house you know you can’t afford. 

Overpopulation is a problem and probably the major cause of most of the ills that we suffer from in our present milieu; global warming, hunger and poverty. That said, the reasons for having children are complex and not always based on rational decisions – the desire to have a family is a powerful, innate driver or instinct in most people. I certainly would not like to be the politician that says having children will be means tested, but without a socialist model, it's hard, from a purely objective, stance to see how else world hunger and world poverty can possibly be eliminated.

Those who scam the system or are led to believe the state is there to support them, whatever misjudged life decisions they make, are the exception and not the rule. It could be argued they are actually capitalists, using loopholes in the system in the same manner as the super-rich who squirrel away their capital in offshore accounts to avoid tax. Both are robbing the state. 

Perhaps the system needs to change such that state aid reaches those who actually need it and not the scammers, but the cost of policing such a system would probably outweigh the savings, as they do in many areas of life. It’s a cost we must accept as a civilised society and we can’t penalise the majority for the actions of a few. Benefit fraud is far outweighed by tax evasion; According to HMRC it’s to the tune of a factor of between 10 and 15, although that’s only an estimate and all estimates are fraught with problems of measurement. 

It’s a fact that a lot of people’s circumstances have changed since the start of 2020 through no fault of their own – jobs have been lost and people who were employed but made redundant and went into self-employment have no access to Covid state aid in the event of a 2nd lockdown. 

In the final analysis, does the fact that a few abuse the system justify thousands of kids going hungry by not facilitating school meal vouchers at this time? Are kids to be allowed to suffer for the actions of their parents? Not in my estimation, and surely not in the mind of any right thinking person.

As an aside, I was told yesterday that a restaurant in South Glos was fiddling the Eat Out to Help Out scheme by allocating cash payments made on days of the week not under the scheme to days the scheme was operating, writing out false receipts, and also claiming the full amount was the discounted amount. I wonder how many others were operating this scam.

Cagloo

We're making a house for Railway, the feral cat what's adopted us. I say adopted us, but in reality he's a mercenary who is using us as a convenient restaurant and relying on our good nature. We don't mind though, despite the fact he eats twice the amount Kitty does - literally.

It's made from a polystyrene cooler box I bought on eBay, so using recycled materials. A simple hole cut into one side affords him access and Hay is going to get some straw to form a warm bed. I'm calling it a cat igloo, or cagloo.

The issue now is where to put it. Under one of the sheds seems to be favourite, but I guess it will be a case of trial and error.

Interestingly, the top is embossed with the word MERCK, which is a pharmaceutical company, so it must have originally been used for transporting vaccines.

Picking Storage

Hay went to the local charity shop yesterday and found this:

A bargain at £10, but she gave £15 for it. Not much of a negotiator, is she? That's the 3rd box for the back of the van that we have now accumulated. It's light though - and waterproof - but it can't be locked.

My lock picking kit arrived from China yesterday - a bargain at £6.50.

I can pick most padlocks with a couple of paperclips, having learned to do it from a YouTube video a couple of years ago, but the key for the Village Hall oil tank padlock as been mislaid by someone and it's a bit tougher than your normal padlock, and a touch rusted. As a member of the Village Hall Committee, I thought I should give it a go, as we need to fill the tank for winter.

As expected, the instructions are in Chinglish, but it looks pretty straight forward. If there's a crime wave reported in Old Sodbury, you know who to blame.

Family Butchers

I took this photo the other day of the local butcher's shop in Chipping Sodbury and pondered as to the meaning of the phrase 'Family Butchers'.

Is it a butcher's shop that is family owned and employs more than one family member as a butcher, or could it be a butcher who caters for families? Could it also be a bunch of butchers that specialise in butchering families - well, we are in the West Country. Shades of Royston Vasey.

People don't say I'm going to the butcher, but I'm going to the butcher's, just like they say they're going to the greengrocer's. The butcher's what though - shop? The apostrophe adds another layer of complexity, but it's missing in this case, so it can only refer to more than one butcher and the s indicates the plural.

Van Learning

We've done some learning on our most recent van trip to a campsite just outside of Fowey, where we parked on a perfectly level grassy area, but before the heavy rain descended on us:

1. You should park on your anti-slip mats and not simply try to use them once you are slipping on exiting your pitch.
2. After some research, I found out that the best anti-slip mats are apparently those criss-cross bakers' bread trays with the sides removed - they're very light, but allow motorhome tyres to get good traction on slippery grass or mud.  
3. Another good anti-slip mat is that heavy duty rubber matting with holes in it that's used for outdoor mats, but it's very heavy.

Luckily I managed to lift some iron grating from around the toilet emptying site, which saved the day, else we'd still be in Fowey. Our anti-slip mats either couldn't get under the wheels, or shot out the other side once under them. Prevention is better than cure, so parking up on them is a must.

We made use of the electricity hook-up, seeing as it was included in the £25 pitch fee. The hardliners will be accusing us of going soft. We did end up being rather liberal with the electricity, using a 1.5kW electric heater on the first day, which we wouldn't countenance if running on the leisure batteries.

Talking of going soft, something has happened to Cornish pasty cases. When I was a kid, they were tough as old boots and made of something resembling concrete. These days they're made of something puffy - not quite puff pastry, but very near to it.

On the way back, we took in Anstey's Cove in Devon. We could have opened one of the side windows of the van and made a fortune in teas and coffees. 

While walking to Polkerris Cove and Polridmouth Cove in Cornwall (the inspiration for Rebecca's Cove in the novel, Rebecca), I made some totally useless observations about hiking sticks.

When you walk, especially downhill, if you slip you're more far more likely to fall backwards as your foot hits something slippy, rather than forwards. A hiking stick, if poking out in front of you to steady you, is actually not going to be the slightest bit of use. All a forward pointing stick is going to do is arrest any forward motion if you're going too fast, or assist in a climb. It makes sense, therefore, to dig it into the ground right next to you on a slippery descent and leave it trailing backwards until you've made 2 steps forward. If you then slip backwards, the stick will help you recover before your arse or bonce hits the deck. Two sticks would be better than one, as a single stick could simply spin you around.

I say 2 steps forward, as I noticed that when walking on the flat and using a stick in the usual swing motion, the stick takes one pace while you take 4. With it used in the manner I described in the previous paragraph, this is reduced to 2 paces.

A more useless bit of information you will be hard pressed to find.

Buy, But Don't Accept

I've thought of a new initiative to help out those businesses and employees needing support during Tier 3. Instead of Eat Out to Help Out, it's Buy, But Don't Accept.

Basically, you order something, and it can even be a meal, but ask for it not to be delivered or, in the case of a meal, not to be cooked. It's 100% altruistic and can be done by anyone with a bit of cash to spare and a desire to help out.

A bit difficult with automated, on-line ordering systems, but if you can send a message immediately after a purchase, you should be able to get the delivery cancelled, but with the retailer keeping your money.

Of course, sellers need to be honest and pass on the benefits to their staff and one way of ensuring this is to demand a till receipt. The beauty of the system is that profits would he much higher than if you simply took delivery of what you purchased, as there would be no associated supply puchases, meaning fewer people would have a large effect. Additionally, in the case of a meal, you don't have to even physically turn up and risk Covid - it could all be done over the phone.

There is one drawback - the supply chain of the provider of the product or service would not benefit but, given the increased profit of the supplier, some of this could be passed down the supply chain. That, again, would rely on the integrity of the product or service supplier and an element of trust would be needed. There again, a provider doesn't want his supply chain to disappear.

I would not recommend this for buying a car or a house....

As regards the free school meals for deprived kids during school holidays, it appears to me, from what Tory MPs have said, that the Conservative argument is threefold:

1. Many of the schemes under way are providing take-aways, which are not nutritious, 
2. A longer term strategy is needed, which focuses on Universal Credit, and
3. It is the responsibility of local authorities. 

I find these arguments rather specious. How no meal is more nutritious than a meal with low nutrition is beyond me. Also, we all know the problems with Universal Credit, and a longer term strategy, while welcome, does not solve the issue over the school holidays this year, especially for parents who have lost their jobs recently. As for it being the responsibility of local authorities, authorities in Tier 3 areas have been complaining, quite vocally and publicly, that the budgets allocated to them for Covid relief are woefully inadequate. Families that were scraping a living before Covid are now very hard hit, even with furlough - rent and utility bills haven't gone away.

There's still no support at all, that I know of, for people who were made redundant during or after the national lockdown and have since gone self-employed. 

I've written to my local, Tory MP, asking for his reasons for voting against the free school meals resolution. I'm not expecting a response any time soon. Whenever I have received a response from him to previous questions, they bear all the hallmarks of Conservative Central Office crafting and the Party line. I can't see him being returned to Parliament at the next election. 

I've heard Conservative apologists on social media say the country can't afford it. The facts is that the country can afford anything it wants to afford. The country paid slave owners compensation for the emancipation of their slaves, the debt for which we only finished paying in 2015. We only finished paying for WWII in 2006. How long will we be paying for Brexit - we'll start seeing a return in 50 years, according to Rees-Mogg.

Game of Cones

We're staying at a campsite just outside of Fowey for a few days and I'm always amused by the name of an ice cream shop at the eastern end of the town, near the Bodinnick ferry.

As you can see, it's called Game of Cones.

Next I expect someone to set up an Indian restaurant nearby and call it Rice Station Zebra.

Can you think of any more names of shops based on film wordplay?

Rubbish Equipment

A certain person at work who shall remain nameless, seems obsessed with replacing perfectly serviceable equipment with rubbish.

It started when the battery on our works Dyson V6 started to go. It was unceremoniously thrown in the bin, from which I rescued it and purchased a replacement, non-Dyson battery from China. It now works perfectly and has been supplementing our stable of vacuum cleaners at home for about 6 months. The replacement that was purchased was reassuringly expensive, but useless - especially when vacuuming out cars or picking up leaves from the showroom mats.

We had a wonderful leaf blower that developed a hole in the bag. Rather than buying a new bag, a totally new leaf blower was bought, but it looks as if it was meant for kids. It's all of 3 feet long.

I have to assume a stooped over gait to use it, resulting in excruciating back pain if used for more than a few minutes. The old leaf blower is residing in my shed, complete with a new bag, ready for use around the new pond when the hedge starts shedding.

I hate to see good equipment thrown away for want of a small, cheap part.

Talking of rubbish equipment, are you aware that in America, the Tesla is bottom of the list for reliability? In the UK it ties with the Landrover for that position.

Judge Jeffreys Courts

In order to speed up the backlog of criminal cases that have been held up by Covid, there are proposals to implement Nightingale Courts - the resurrection of courts that were closed down years ago and were deemed too expansive to update. Nighingale Courts is perhaps the wrong name to choose, as Florence Nightingale was never involved in the courts system - Judge Jeffreys Courts would be more apt. 

To really speed up judgements, a single court could be set up with Anne Widdecombe, Jacob Rees-Mogg and Priti Patel presiding. 

Just think of the speed at which they could work if the accused were not allowed to be represented and a system of summary justice were implemented. Even the prosecution wouldn't be necessary, saving even more cash. They could just look at the accused and determine from their dress and demeanour whether they were guilty.

To avoid overcrowding in prisons, scaffolds could be erected outside the courts.