It’s 2024 - we’ve got self-driving cars (well, sort of), chatbots that know your favourite type of toast (but still can’t quite answer a straightforward question), and virtual reality that can put you on the Moon without leaving your sofa. And yet, in the middle of all this technological triumph, a singular relic of human ineptitude dangles defiantly above our heads: the ceiling light cable.
We went away for a short midweek break in Brixham last week and, while staring at the ceiling in the rather plush hotel restaurant (Berry Head Hotel), I espied this.
That uninspired strand of wire that says, “I could be tucked neatly away, but I think I’ll just hang out here instead.” It mocks us every time we look up. How is it that we’ve sent probes to Mars but can’t figure out how to make ceiling lights look less like they’re cosplaying as bungee jumpers?
Back in the day, cables were considered revolutionary. People didn’t care if they hung out in plain view - electricity was the new magic, and you were lucky to have a bulb at all. But now? Now it’s like wearing a powdered wig to a job interview. Society has evolved; the ceiling cable has not. Sure, some genius decided to invent recessed lighting and modular tracks, but the rest of us? We’re stuck squinting at a plastic rose fitting that somehow makes the whole situation worse.
The real problem is that no one has made the ceiling cable trendy. We live in a world where avocado toast and ironic mullets get more attention than practical design solutions. If we renamed “wireless ceiling fixtures” to “aesthetic air energy conduits,” perhaps Instagram influencers would lead the charge. But alas, the humble ceiling cable is neither glamorous nor hashtag-worthy.
Imagine a world where your ceiling lights are powered by invisible beams of energy. Cool, right? But instead of developing this, we’re still arguing over whether your smart speaker is spying on you. Concealed wiring sounds equally great - until you remember your house is 150 years old, and your DIY skills are limited to changing batteries in the remote. Why hide the cables when you can celebrate them? Paint them neon green, braid them into modern art, or string up fairy lights. It’s called “industrial chic,” and it costs three times as much as doing nothing.
The truth is, we as a civilisation are inherently lazy. Why solve a problem when you can ignore it? The ceiling cable issue isn’t life-threatening, and until it starts falling on people or leaking secrets to the government, it’s unlikely to get any real attention. So here we are, staring wistfully at our dangling cables while we order smart bulbs from an app. At least those bulbs change colour.
Until humanity collectively decides that hanging cables are a global crisis, we’re stuck with them. Maybe that’s okay. Maybe the ceiling cable is a metaphor for life - slightly annoying, definitely outdated, but still doing its job. So next time you’re lying on your sofa, staring at that sagging wire above your head, take a moment to appreciate it. It’s not perfect, but neither are we.
2 comments:
"If it ain't broke......". Can't say it's something that keeps me awake at night. Maybe you've been spending too much time in your shed?? And remember: trying to develop wireless electricity distribution is what drove Nikola Tesla to penury and an early death.
There are 2-3 issues with creating "Wireless" light fittings right now.
1 :- Energy efficiency, If we look at wireless phone chargers, you'd be expecting an energy deficiency of about a 20% - 30% if we carry this over you'd be looking for low wattage lamps , being limit it to only LED or CFL lamps.
2 (Maybe 1.1) :- Distance, as we continue looking at the efficiency wee should note that the chargers require close contact to actual charge the phone, If we were to attempt this on lamp fittings we may have to increase the could coil size, this will use more electricity and the efficiency will decrease
3 :- Thermal radiation and it's effects, the energy waste is converted into thermal energy while we again look to the wireless chargers the energy waster is converted largely into heat.
Phone chargers are luckily (Usually) places in open air most including feet, improving the airflow and reducing the heat build up.
If we were to build a coil into an enclosed ceiling rose we'd have to take into account the heat build up from the inductive coil, this may cause an unsightly base unit, Alongside this we'd have to look into the fireproofing, as the electrical would is highly rated with the UK believed to be one of the safest, we currently have alot of regulations regarding fire barriers and cable zoning, the design will have to include a flame barrier, not much dissimilar from flame detectors or recessed lights currently.
While this will open up installation areas (Less weight) it will also limit some areas that have joists installed as it would require larger amounts to joists to be removed.
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