Trump's Big Bombshell (That Blew Up in His Face)

So there we have it – Trump’s long-range, deep-penetrating, bunker-busting ego has finally detonated under its own narrative. According to The Donald, the US bombed Iran’s nuclear facilities so thoroughly that you’d need an archaeological permit to find them. Fordow? Flattened. Natanz? Naffed off. Isfahan? Is-a-gone. He beamed like a man who’d just drop-kicked a nuclear warhead into a sandcastle and declared global peace before lunch.

But here’s the problem: when you say you’ve obliterated something – like, say, a nuclear programme – you rather paint yourself into a corner. Because if it turns out that Iran still has a working centrifuge or two tucked under the mattress, and you need to bomb them again, you’ve either got to admit your original boasting was nonsense… or pretend you’re just bombing the air for fun, like a child hitting a deflated paddling pool with a cricket bat.

This is what happens when you treat foreign policy like a property listing – all spin, no structure. "Decades of nuclear development wiped out in a single strike," he bellowed, like a man flogging time-shares in Chernobyl. Except now the intelligence community – those inconvenient people with data – say Iran could be up and running again in a few months. Which is awkward, because you can’t exactly launch a second round of “obliteration” without admitting the first one was little more than a pyrotechnic press release.

So what does Trump do? He doubles down, of course. Sends out his human foghorns – Hegseth and Rubio – to tell us the leaks are lies, the media are traitors, and the real problem is the truth getting out before he’s had time to invent a better version.

Let’s call it what it is: the strongman paradox. Trump wants to look omnipotent, so he declares total victory. But if he ever needs to act again, he exposes himself as the blustering blowhard we all knew he was. He’s stuck – can’t bomb again without admitting he failed, can’t sit still without looking weak. It’s Schrödinger’s airstrike: both a glorious success and a pending necessity, depending on the audience.

And the best bit? He’s done this to himself. With a mouth like a missile silo and a memory like a sieve, he’s now got only two options: lie bigger, or bomb thinner air. Either way, it’s a comedy of mass destruction – with Trump as the only man in history to bomb a country so hard it came back stronger just to spite him.