Revolving Doors

I thought I’d check what our last Conservative MP was doing. Idle curiosity, really - a glance at the political afterlife. And would you believe it, I wasn’t in the least surprised. Luke Hall, once our Lidl manager turned Westminster benchwarmer, has popped up as Head of External Affairs and Stakeholder Engagement at National Grid.

The job title is a mouthful, but don’t be fooled – it’s not about keeping the lights on. It’s about keeping the politicians sweet, polishing reputations, and making sure consultations are replied to in time. No need for engineering know-how or a grip of energy markets. What you need is a Commons pass gone slightly dog-eared and the ability to nod gravely in meetings.

Hall’s qualifications? Well, as minister for rough sleeping during a pandemic, his grand wheeze was to suggest the homeless “move in with family.” His cameo at higher education lasted about as long as a fresher’s bar tab. And as for housing, he presided over scandal after scandal of tenants left in damp, vermin-infested flats while promising white papers that never came. Political savvy? Limited doesn’t quite cover it. He was the sort of minister you only remembered was there when he wasn’t.

And yet this CV – which would barely get you an interview at a halfway-decent housing association – is now worth a six-figure salary at one of Britain’s largest utilities. External affairs managers at National Grid pull in £60–70k. “Head of” roles climb toward £90–140k, with bonuses taking the package to around £170k. In other words, Hall has failed upwards again – from Lidl to the Treasury benches to a nice little corporate nest with a salary that would make most of his constituents weep.

It’s the same weary story. For the rest of us, underperformance means a P45. For them, it’s a golden lanyard, a new business card, and a salary bigger than three nurses put together. Nothing surprising, nothing earned, nothing useful. Just another brick in the wall of Britain’s great revolving door, spinning merrily while the lights flicker for everyone else.