North / South Culinary Divide at Tesco

Hay is of the opinion she's discovered a hitherto unknown sign of the traditional north-south divide. She asked me to make her a sandwich and I asked what she wanted on it. She said that a person from the north says 'on', whereas a southerner will ask what someone wants 'in' a sandwich.

My position is that you don't exactly fill a sandwich the way, for example, you would fill a pitta. You first put the filling on one layer of bread or toast before adding the layer that turns an open sandwich into a traditional English sandwich. In this respect, asking what one wants on a sandwich is the more logical approach.

None of this is really relevant for a nation that considers fish and chips the height of culinary excellence and vaunts the health giving benefits of that arteriosclerotic concoction know as the Full English.

We were in Tesco yesterday morning and some of the staff were hideously disfigured with cuts, abrasions and black eyes. Their clothes were ripped and bloodstained. Shame on Tesco for making their staff work when they obviously need an ambulance and taking to hospital.