5:2 Caramel Diet

Overheard in a shop:

Chairman: "That's a nice item of clothing. Look, they have them in chocolate, a hideous snot colour and..."

Hay: "Mustard."

Chairman: "I was going to say diarrhoea."

Regarding the GSM switch, I figured out that if you set your mobile as the Master controller, you can phone the GSM switch to change its state without generating a return confirmation message costing 5p. Just need to figure out how to get it to cancel the confirmation text when using text to control it. Here's a video of it, but blokey looks as if he needs a new tablet.

Any innovative ideas for its use? One could be to switch the main internet router off at bedtime on school days, but I'd have to lock it and the router in a cupboard.

We went out en famille last night for a celebratory dinner. Most unpleasant having to sit next to a table with a screaming baby. Why do parents these days feel they have a right to bring babies to pubs and inflict their kids on other diners? What's wrong with leaving your kids at home in the care of a babysitter, which is what we did as new parents?

Chairman's special diet supplement: 3 tins of Lidl sweetened condensed milk. Remove the labels. Cover with water. Boil on a simmer for 3 hours. Cool thoroughly.

Delicious caramel. Gave one away, storing another and snaffled the 3rd. Apparently you can do it in 30 minutes, if you use a pressure cooker.

Despite  that, I've managed to lose 3.5kg since the 9th January. Had put on some extra plumage over Christmas (and the run-up), so I decided to get a bit more strict on the 5:2 regime. Apparently I have another 4kg to lose to hit the green area of the BMI. That 3rd can of caramel is going to have to stay where it is for now.