The Forgotten Casualties of the Iran War

There was a wonderfully grave segment on Radio 4 yesterday morning about the economic fallout from the Iran war. Oil prices. Gas supplies. Fertiliser. Haulage. Manufacturing. Entire sectors apparently wobbling as energy prices spread through the economy like a leak nobody can quite find.

And fair enough. Those things matter.

But once again, the BBC managed to overlook one of the great endangered pillars of the modern British economy. The influencer sector.

Nobody ever talks about the human cost to influencers during geopolitical crises.

Nobody asks how Chantelle from Basingstoke is supposed to continue producing "Sunday Reset" content if sanctions disrupt the supply of imported Scandinavian oat milk and electrically heated eyelash curlers. Nobody considers the effect on a 24 year old lifestyle creator when global instability interferes with the availability of motivational water bottles, collagen sachets and those little iced coffees that appear to contain more branding than actual coffee.

There was much discussion about logistics and fuel dependency. Yet not a single mention of the terrible vulnerability of the Dubai brunch ecosystem.

You can picture the scene already. Flights delayed. Beach clubs under strain. Influencers forced to photograph themselves beside merely adequate infinity pools while wearing oversized sunglasses and staring thoughtfully into the middle distance as though contemplating the collapse of civilisation rather than whether to order truffle fries.

Some may even have to return briefly to Britain and produce content from their parents' conservatory in Swindon.

The programme spoke solemnly about job losses in steel, chemicals and transport. Important, obviously. But what about the thousands employed in secondary influencer support services? Teeth whiteners. Eyebrow laminators. Young men wandering around Shoreditch pretending not to notice the camera while carrying tiny cups of expensive coffee.

Entire supply chains.

And what of LinkedIn influencers? The forgotten casualties of modern conflict. Middle managers standing in front of office windows explaining that "uncertainty creates opportunity" while somehow relating the Strait of Hormuz to leadership culture and personal growth.

One can only imagine the suffering.

"Yesterday, amid escalating regional tensions, I learned a powerful lesson about resilience."

No you didn't, Darren. Your connecting flight in Doha was delayed and Pret had run out of the vegan wrap.

It is easy to mock, of course, but economies evolve. Britain once made ships, locomotives and precision machinery. We now increasingly produce podcasts hosted by people discussing "their journey".

And perhaps that is why the Today programme omitted them. The numbers may simply be too frightening to contemplate. Once you start calculating the economic contribution of people filming themselves unpacking skincare products, the whole economy starts looking faintly suspicious.

Somewhere tonight, while tankers edge nervously through the Strait of Hormuz and traders watch oil futures flicker across their screens, somebody will still be trying to photograph a flat white beside a scented candle in weak natural lighting while saying, "A lot of you have been asking about my morning routine."