Sturgeon Deliveries

Yet another courier parcel delivery has gone astray. I think companies should outsource their parcel deliveries to the European Space Agency - they can hit the mark from 4 billion miles.

That Nicola Sturgeon gets right up my nose. Heard her being interviewed saying why should Scotland leave the EU because a party Scots hadn't voted for wanted to. You could use that level of argument for any county, or indeed town or village within the UK. She calls it democracy - when there's little or no difference between the Scots and the English, I call it anarchy. The Scots are as different from the English as Geordies are from Scousers and I defy anyone to tell me how the Scots are so different from the English (OK, they have a few more carrot-tops and a penchant for cross dressing, but that's as far as it goes).

Move Out of the Damned Way!

I drove the new Dinky Toy to London yesterday to hand-deliver a large satellite communications proposal to the Brazilian Navy Commission in Europe; what should have been no more than a 2 hour drive turned out to be 4 hours due to the weight of traffic and I made the deadline with 5 minutes to spare.

On the way back I was following a Porsche Carrera 4S on the M4 and the spray from the Porsche's wheels necessitated that I give the windscreen a quick wash and wipe. I twiddled the wiper thingy, but nothing happened. I twiddled it again and still nothing happened. I twiddled it furiously and the Porsche Carrera suddenly moved over from the fast lane into the middle lane to let me pass.

Yes, I'd been sat in a Hyundai Getz 1.1 litre, furiously flashing a Porsche to get out of the damned way.

As I drew level with the Porsche, I think the driver saw the funny side. Whether he realised I'd mistaken the high beam flasher for the windscreen wiper, I don't know.

Double Bypass Burger

Heard about the Double Doughnut Burger (I refuse to spell it the American way).

Steve Jebson for Hungry Horse, said: "Our popular menu caters for a variety of tastes and appetites and includes everything from lower calorie options such as our hot chicken and bacon salad at 393 calories, through to the indulgent occasional treat such as our new Double Donut Burger. All the nutritional information for our menu is available on our website and in our pubs, so that our customers are able to make informed decisions about what they choose to eat."

Informed decision - who's he trying to kid? The people who would eat that probably can't even read, let alone reach an informed decision!

Victim vs Survivor

Have you noticed how the BBC, when reporting on rape or sexual abuse, has started calling those who were abused 'survivors' instead of 'victims'.

Survivor, to me, indicates someone who has transcended the event; not all victims of abuse survive the ordeal, they can remain traumatised for the rest of their lives.

Victim: a person harmed, injured, or killed as a result of a crime, accident, or other event or action.

Survivor: a person who survives, especially a person remaining alive after an event in which others have died.

Also, survivor: a person who continues to function or prosper in spite of opposition, hardship, or setbacks.

I guess it can depend on the dictionary you use as to the definition, and dictionaries are nothing more than someone's opinion - hence the different definitions.

However, that said, the use of the word survivor in the BBC, at least to me, is an example of imposed groupthink to perhaps engender a sense of empowerment in the victims. All who are subject to sexual abuse are victims; not all victims are survivors and to label them all as such is a misrepresentation (possibly with a hidden political agenda).

Perhaps the word victim has become debased now that we have the 'victim culture' and everyone is a victim of something (at least in their own minds) - a bit like the word 'hero' has become debased by overuse in grossly inappropriate circumstances.

Language is a funny old thing...

Analyse and discuss.

I'd Never Have Guessed

Apparently the new Star Wars film title has been released. It's called Star Wars. That was a well kept secret!

It would appear that a French health watchdog is of the opinion that 3D glasses could be dangerous for youngsters' eyes. According to Anses, the process of assimilating a three-dimensional effect requires the eyes to look at images in two different places at the same time before the brain translates it as one image, and this could be harmful to developing eyes. That sounds suspiciously like the way eyes work to see the real world in depth. Perhaps just seeing is harmful to the eyes...

So who really did kill Bin Laden, and will the TV spin-off rival the Dallas cliff-hanger?

The Dinky Toy

The Golf TDi with the knackered auto gearbox is on eBay as a 'spares or repair' and last weekend we bought (or rather I was persuaded by Hay to buy) a cheap (£999) Hyundai Getz 1.1 Dinky Toy as a replacement Pool Car. Cheap and economical, but manual.

Last night I had to pick up No.1 Son from school following his weekly trip to Bristol Uni for part of his A level course. Now driving at dusk has become a problem since I was diagnosed with early stage cataracts (glare from oncoming cars and colours just meld into one mass), but driving a car which has the indicator and wiper switches in the reverse positions from the Golf, as well as having 5 manual gears, proved to be a total nightmare.

A favourite bugbear if mine is manual cars - especially ones with 5 gears. You are forced to drive with one hand permanently on the gearstick when in town traffic, while using the other to put your windscreen wipers on to signify you're about to make a turn.

Some people say manual cars give you better control. How can that be possible when you're steering with one hand only for the majority of the time? We're in the 21st century, for God's sake.

Devolution

Was watching something on local TV last night about devolution of power from Westminster and Cornwall.

Never met an actual native Cornishman, and I used to go to Cornwall once a fortnight.

One bloke (allegedly a Cornishman) said it's ridiculous to think Cornwall could be governed from London. That's like saying Middlesbrough or Barrow in Furness can't be governed from London.

For the best part of 300 years Cornwall was governed from Rome, and Australia from London.

It's only small-minded people who come out with statements like this. Distance is no barrier to government; it's the attitudes of those governing and those being governed (and their relationships) that matter.

Molecular Gastronomy II

Just thought I'd show a picture of my apple juice pearls. These are jellified all the way through, so if you ain't got your full complement of tombstones in your mouth, then they can be a tad difficult to get your gnashers around. Rather than chewing them, I gum them.

Can't wait for the really nasty chemicals to arrive in the post so I can experiment with a soft, lipid shell and make all manner of wonderful Quatermass blobs that I can feed to the unsuspecting family.

Halloween

We didn't have a pumpkin, so Hay used an orange instead.

Molecular White Trousers

We went to the Chipping Sodbury Yacht Club dinner on Friday night - dress was full uniform and medals.

We had a wonderful rendition of sea shanties by The Shanty Men.

However, I do question the wisdom of white uniform trousers for gentlemen who are in the main above 60. Lots of stains....

Inspired by a Facebook friend with a restaurant (The Monro in Liverpool), I'm getting into molecular gastronomy. I made balsamic pearls to accompany dinner last night, also a heap of apple juice pearls. Used agar for these, but have bought some sodium alginate and calcium chloride on eBay in order to make all manner of scrummy caviar with a thin lipid shell that pops in your mouth. Hay's biochemistry PhD may come in handy for a few ideas.