Out-of-Body Memories of Foster Wives

We were talking about memories yesterday. Here's a question; when you recall memories, do you see yourself from another person's perspective, or do you see things through your own eyes, as you would have seen them at the time? 

I see myself as if I was viewing the situation from a 3rd party's perspective - like an out-of-body experience, or a film director's perspective or observer perspective - which seems strange, as it's a perspective that could never have happened in reality.

We were also talking about foster children, foster parents, etc., and wondered why the concept of foster wives and foster husbands has never been thought of....

Illogicality and Nespresso Sagas

Well, the polls show that not only are politicians not to be trusted, but neither are the bloody electorate. The lying bastards - who do they think they are, changing their intentions at the last minute!

If the swing away from the Lib Dems was due to broken promise on the issue of university fees (which is all the swing could be blamed on in terms of broken promises), why on earth did so much of it go to the Conservatives (as they did in our constituency), who were the very party who increased university fees to £9k in the first place? Totally illogical!

People moan incessantly about waiting to see a doctor and the Tories selling off the NHS, and then they perversely go and vote in a Conservative majority! The UK electorate never ceases to amaze me. However, I think we can safely say that Labour can either blame the Scots or themselves for the result. I guess it may have been down to one of three things (or even an amalgam of the three):

1. A fear of a Labour / SNP alliance, 
2. The economy, stupid - the psychological fear losing what you have gained, also known as the bird-in-the-hand is worth two in the bush effect, and
3. A desire for a referendum on Europe (which I think is a mistake, as most of the electorate - myself included - is as ignorant of the effects of leaving as they are of quantum entanglement. Leave it to the experts).

If the second point is valid, then there was only one way the economy could have gone after a crash, regardless of who was in power. Governments don't really have that much of an effect - it's the markets that count, and confidence. There again, politicians are great confidence tricksters.

Spotted Douglas Hurd on the TV at about half past five in the evening talking utter bollocks, Thought he was going to have a thrombie during the interview.

The SNP could have put Kevin Phillips-Bong up as a candidate, and the Scots would have voted for him.

Farage resign? No - UKIP is lost without him, he's their strategic weapon. Clegg resign? No, I think he should stay - he has good potential and is a natural. Just a pity the electorate was so fickle. Miliband Minor resign? Yes, then I might be persuaded to vote Labour, unless it's the unions who shoe-in the next leader.

Continuing with the saga of the DeLonghi Nespresso coffee machine. Well, the rubber seals worked, as evidenced by the photo below (the pod on the right shows the seal in situ):

It provides just the right amount of additional thrutch to ensure the pod lid is evenly perforated. Even works with just a lid made of common or garden tinfoil crimped over the top of the pod. The taste was still dishwater though, but I believe the Lidl cafetiere coffee is unsuited to one of these jobbies.

Now for the Lidl pods, which work out at £0.175 per pod, just over half the price of the Nespresso ones.

No added thrutch required, as they fit perfectly. Also, the coffee is somewhat stronger than the standard Lidl brick of coffee, so a good taste. Not only that, but the construction is very similar to the reusables in that they don't get fatally pierced in the bottom, meaning they can be reused with simple crimped tinfoil, but you need to find a coffee of suitable strength. I wouldn't use the bought stick-on lids on these, as the remains of the old lid adhere to the pod and is difficult to remove in order to get a good seal.

Note that you can get stainless steel reusable pods on eBay which can be reused 100 times. I've yet to try them.

Hay's still not convinced it's worth it. Her main gripe is that it takes up too much kitchen counter space. She thinks they're just a middle-class style statement with no practical use whatsoever. I was of that opinion till I tried the Lidl pods.

Overheard

It seems we have a Conservative child for our local MP and Steve Webb (ex Minister for Pensions - Lib Dem) has lost his seat.

What with Nicola Sturgeon's recent transformation to svelte femme fatale, I somehow sense her fat, frumpy hubby will be dumped shortly.

As for the Labour vote collapsing in the face of the Conservatives - perhaps the Brand effect combined with the Alan Partridge effect. Will we see Miliband Senior rejoining the Labour ranks - I do hope so.

Overheard while feeding Kitty:

Chairman: "With all that fur round her bum, how the hell does she keep it clean? Ah yes, she licks it."

Hay: "Well, she's grooming herself all day. You keep your bum clean."

Chairman: "Yes, but I don't lick it!"

Hay: "You would if you could."

Overheard in the patio:

Hay's Dad: "I was watching a documentary about Eastern Europeans coming over here to get jobs. The business owner in the documentary said he paid above the minimum wage, but couldn't get any white people to take the jobs, so he employs Poles."

Hay: "Good grief, do you know what you just said? You didn't vote SS this morning, did you?"

Hay's Dad: "Slip of the tongue, you know what I meant."

Gadget Woman (and Man) on a Windsor FlipBoard

Overheard in the kitchen:

Hay: "That Nespresso machine has to go. I'm not a gadget person..... although I love my NutriBullet."

Yesterday I suggested a kale, celery and whisky NutriBullet smoothie. Hay thought it was diverging somewhat from the overall aim of the regime.

Heard some younger people on TV last night complaining that politics and the election don't connect with them. Christ - what are we voting about? The economy, Europe, public services and specifically the NHS, jobs. What these young people are saying is that they are too thick to understand the very issues that affect them on a daily basis!

I heard someone say they're voting for Status Quo. Never knew they had a political party - probably just got 3 policies.

Bloody Samuel Windsor! Just because I bought some shoes off them 3 years ago they now inundate me with junk mail. Not satisfied with sending me 2 brochures, they even sent one to Hay.

Hits on the blog went stratospheric yesterday - must have been something to do with the keywords Nespresso, NutriBullet and e-cigarette all appearing at once.

Talking of gadgets, about a month ago I switched from my old e-cigarette to one of the newfangled jobbies with a huge tank and a battery that's more like a mobile phone charger.

The one on the left was bought first, but I was lucky to get a full day from it. Bought the battery on the right a few days later and I can get nearly 2 full days from it. The woman in the shop said she got about 3 days from the smaller battery and over a week from the larger one. Obviously she's not that serious about her nicotine addiction. Given the charger is a normal mini-USB phone charger, you'd think they'd add a USB port to the battery pack so you could use it as a phone charger in an emergency.

Totally given up on the BBC News website - too much like hard work trying to find actual news, as opposed to tittle-tattle and sleb gossip. I recently switched to FlipBoard, and it's wonderful.

Coffee Machine Holidays with Nutribullet

I saw in the news yesterday that the leaders of the political parties are doing separate tours of the UK. Don't they realise there's an election this week? Not what I'd call the ideal time to be going on holiday.

Gave in to pressure from Hay and made myself a Nutribullet soup for my skinny day last night. 2 carrots, a yellow pepper and some parsley. After a quick zuzz, I heated it up in the microwave. Tasted OK, if somewhat watery (due to the lack of flour or fat). Not a patch of proper cooked soup, but great if in a hurry. Also used it to zuzz some desiccated coconut, almond flakes, muscovado sugar and sultanas to make a Peshwari naan filling. It was only a trial, so I froze it and will use it later in the week when I'm baking.

Inherited an old Nespresso machine from the office closure (being MD I have first dibs). Not impressed with the cost of the damned pods (although I also inherited a 6 month supply), you either have to be George Clooney to afford them, or get them on the office stationery budget. Decided to do some cheap-skate stuff, as is my natural tendency when faced with exorbitant cost (except when it comes to tools).

First I bought some plastic reusable pods with stick-on foil lids from eBay (I was saddened to find they didn't have images of Princess Charlotte on them) and filled them with our own Lidl coffee. The result was dish water. Tried a coarser coffee - same result. Finally discovered the reusable pods aren't seating correctly against the perforator, so very little water, if any, was percolating through.

The machine.

Reusable pods with stick-on seals.

Close up of reusable pod.

Alternative arrangement - normal pod with crimped foil.

Side view

Reusable  with coarser textured coffee

Note the genuine pod seal on the left, and reusable on the right - not fully perforated.

Tried over-filling the pods and got a passable result, but that's a bit messy. Have ordered some seals; not sure what they look like but assume they form a collar below the lip of the pod and facilitate a few extra mills of push. Will advise the result when I receive them. although I have a vague suspicion the Nespresso machine will end up on Freecycle as I don't earn enough to run one of these gadgets full time. Nothing beats a good old cafetiere for taste, convenience or value.

Political Insurance

Hay added herself to her dad's car insurance policy yesterday and the cost dropped. The same happened last year when I added her to my policy. She asked the telesales woman why the price dropped and was told it was because the risk was spread among more drivers, but that's illogical, as with more drivers the risk of a particular car having an accident must perforce increase.

Russell Brand is apparently telling his adoring and mindless fans to vote Labour. He'll be endorsing products in exchange for money next. Brand and Miliband; one is a politician and the other a comic - not sure which is which though.

Even Steve Coogan is thinking his endorsement will sway voters. The sad thing is that he's probably right when it comes to a certain section of the population.

Car Tales & Nutribullets

Went to Exmouth yesterday to view an SLK 320 V6 intended as a replacement for Hay's Merc. It was advertised as rust free - you could have fooled me. It had more rust than Hay;s Merc. Total waste of a 200 mile journey!

Stopped off in Budleigh Salterton on the way back for a spot of lunch at a local pub. For the first time in several years I was treated to an English salad - i.e. a bunch of salad leaves with no dressing whatsoever. Utterly tasteless.

As we were entering Budleigh Salterton we spotted a sign for a performance by the Lux Wind Qintet. Hay thought I should apply to join them, presumably playing the fartophone.

The Nutribullet was delivered yesterday (never had anything delivered on a Sunday before - not sure how they managed that). Had a good few hours playing with it - Hay was making hideous green concoctions while I satisfied myself with a banana milkshake. It does work much better than a standard blender, but I discovered you can adapt a standard blender and improve its performance by taking out the blender blade attachment and screwing it to a Mason jar. You get exactly the same result for a fraction of the cost.

Pedal Cars on Roads

Just saw a headline in the Sunday Times saying; "One in three 11 year-olds will fail new tests." I thought one of the political parties had spawned a proposal that 11 year-olds be allowed to drive cars...

Another good headline: Ajockalypse Now!

The new royal baby - Chenise? Chantelle?

Blending Term Time Holidays

Don't you just wish all these politicians would simply go away and Mrs Queen formed a government herself?

Ref yesterday's post about the teacher who took her kids off school to visit that Andean place I have difficulty spelling - I had a good gander at the Facebook comments and the overwhelming majority of the ones in favour of the "educational value" of taking kids out of school for holidays had atrocious spelling or used text-speak. They obviously got their education while on holiday.

Hay is going a tad daft with the juice thing. Yesterday I tried to get her to use the lawn grass clippings in her juicer - I have so much grass to mow now that composting is no longer an option, unless I want to go commercial with it. She didn't seem impressed with the idea. 

She was in two minds about whether to invest a small fortune in a Nutribullet, so I was tasked with finding a few YouTube videos showing comparisons. This one just shows the dangers of juicing - obviously not good for the waist - however I'm mega impressed with the machine the woman uses. It looks like something from the US defence programme, but is over £400!

These Americans don't half go on  - they're fond of the sound of their own voices and witter on for ten minutes when they could say what needs to be said in two - it infuriates me!

Finally found a half decent video from an good, old fashioned Yorkshire housewife comparing a Nutribullet with other types of blenders. It also could have done with a bit of editing (she constantly disappeared to do the washing up).

The upshot is that the evidence speaks for itself and a £90 Nutribullet has been ordered. It uses the whole fruit (or veg) and doesn't waste the pulp, blending the lot into a smoothie better than a blender alone can manage. I guess it has to do with the shape, being wider at the bottom, creating a better vortex which increases the efficiency of the blending action. I suspect No. 1 Son's ideal juice would be a McDonald's and chips smoothie.

Going to video Hay's dad's girlfriend, Barbara, while cooking something indigenous to Yorkshire and monetise the result. People make fortunes from videoing themselves in their kitchens - I could do one on sourdough bread making, or tool collecting...

Talking of advertising, saw an advert for some concoction called PÜD and wondered if the umlaut was genuine, a play on Müller or an affected metal umlaut. And just who was Uncle Ben?

SNP Longevity in Term Time

Bad news for women - their menfolk are catching up in the longevity stakes. Wonder if this will increase the divorce rate among the elderly?

Was reading an item in the Economist yesterday where an analysis of the SNP manifesto pronounced it overwhelmingly identical to the Labour manifesto, with the exceptions of Trident (where they are not that different) and Scottish Independence. It would transpire that a Labour SNP alliance would not hold the country to ransom, as is commonly suggested in the media, as to do that Sturgeon would have to threaten to vote against her own manifesto on just about every issue - which would surely be suicide. So, if you're a socialist Scot but don't want independence, there's nothing to choose between Labour and SNP and so you may as well vote for a Labour majority.

Was reading a Facebook post by some teacher in Manchester who took her family to Macchu Picchu, Machu Pichu, Machu Piccu - oh dammit - that place in the Andes. She willingly paid her £240 fine and was crowing about the trip's educational value. The facts remain:

1. She's a teacher and should set an example - and what was she doing being off in term time?
2. The value of the trip being taken during school time undeniably had more to do with the cost of the trip than its educational value, else she could just as easily have gone during school holiday time (get out of that one, if you can).
3. The £240 fine was tiny compared to the saving made by travelling during term time.
4. Macchu Pichu, Machu.... is a theme park now and has the educational value of Alton Towers.