Farage & Farmers

Nigel Farage – the man who never met a bandwagon he wouldn’t hop onto, so long as it got him airtime – has suddenly discovered a deep and abiding love for British farmers. How touching. There he was, grinning like a Cheshire cat at the inheritance tax protests, puffing out his chest and pretending he’s the ploughman’s best friend. This from the same bloke who’s spent years cosying up to his old pal Trump, waxing lyrical about the virtues of a US trade deal that would, if implemented, turn British farming into an all-you-can-eat buffet for American agribusiness.

Let’s not mince words – Farage’s vision for farming is about as British as chlorinated chicken. His dream deal with the US would see our farmers undercut by industrial-scale American producers, who are more than happy to pump their livestock full of growth hormones and call it “progress.” It’s a curious sort of patriotism that involves selling out British farmers to the highest bidder across the Atlantic, but then again, Farage has always been a man for convenient contradictions. He was happy enough to tell farmers that Brexit would be their salvation – now he’s quite content to see them ground into the dirt by competition that doesn’t have to meet the same standards.

Of course, he’ll dress it up in all the usual guff about “free markets” and “opportunity,” but we all know what it really means. American mega-farms will flood the market with cheap, substandard produce while British farmers – held to higher welfare standards, stricter regulations, and a whole load of Brexit-induced red tape – will be left struggling to compete. And when that happens? Farage will be nowhere to be found. He’ll have moved on to his next grift, probably banging on about "globalists" while counting his GB News paycheque.

British farmers, like the rest of us, were sold a lie about Brexit. The supposed bright future outside the EU has turned out to be a bureaucratic nightmare of export barriers, labour shortages, and subsidies that evaporated faster than one of Farage’s promises. Now, as they protest the creeping destruction of family farms and the prospect of their land being gobbled up by corporate giants, here comes Nige, pint in hand, feigning outrage. The sheer brass neck of it is almost impressive.

If Farage truly cared about British farming, he’d be pushing for proper investment, sustainable policies, and market protections – not a free-for-all trade deal that treats our countryside like a discount bin for American agribusiness. But that would require principles, and he’s never been one to let those get in the way of a good photo op.