Putinism in a Clown Suit

There’s a theory doing the rounds – not one I’d dismiss lightly – that Trumpism is basically Putinism, but in a clown suit. A fair comparison, if you imagine Putin as a KGB taxidermist, stuffing the last breath of democracy into a glass case, and Trump as the bloke who smashes the case with a golf club and tries to flog the remains at Mar-a-Lago as “The Greatest Democracy Ever. Really Fantastic.”

Where Putin is a cold-eyed chess player with a fondness for polonium and poisoned rhetoric, Trump is a shouty bingo caller for fascism – half Mussolini, half reality TV reject, all grievance. The difference? Putin doesn’t need a Capitol riot – he is the system. Trump, bless him, still needs to con the base into believing the system is rigged against him, even while he’s trying to rig it in real time.

It’s like watching a pantomime villain attempt a coup d’état with the cast of Duck Dynasty and a foam finger. And yet, somehow, it’s working.

Where Putin has full-spectrum control – judiciary, press, parliament, and whatever passes for civil society under a neo-feudal oligarchy – Trump’s ambitions have been curbed only by the fact that America still has courts, journalists, and enough voters who don’t believe Jewish space lasers control the weather. But give it time.

You see, Trump doesn’t want to run a country. He wants to run a protection racket dressed up as a presidency, where loyalty trumps law (pun very much intended), and where being mean to Nancy Pelosi on Twitter is considered governance. It's not that he admires Putin despite the assassinations, the media clampdowns, and the jailings. He admires him because of them.

But whereas Putin would have Navalny killed with plausible deniability and a dab of Novichok, Trump would announce it on Truth Social, blame Joe Biden, and then mispronounce “Russia” three times before wandering off to sell $99 NFTs of himself riding a bald eagle in boxing shorts.

And let’s not forget the enablers. The Republican Party, once the home of Eisenhower and mildly repressed tax accountants, is now a performative cult draped in red caps and conspiracy. They don’t just tolerate the clown suit – they iron it.

So yes – Trumpism is Putinism in a clown suit. The ideology is the same: rule by fear, lie with impunity, blame the outsider, dismantle oversight. The only difference is that Trump’s version is marketed as family entertainment. It’s the same authoritarianism, just with fart gags and gold-plated bogs.

And while Putin offers grim resolve with a dead-eyed stare, Trump offers the American people a three-ring circus – with himself as ringmaster, lion tamer, and the bloody lion.

Laugh while you can. The tent is still going up.