A Woman's Gravitational Way in the Home

Overheard while doing the washing up:

Hay: "Ugh! You haven't cleaned this spatula very well."

Chairman: "I most certainly did - I paid particular attention to it."

Hay: "Then why is the handle covered in bread dough?"

Chairman: "Oh, obviously I meant the blade, not the handle!"

Saw an item on the news last night about planners developing walking and dementia friendly housing estates. I wish to hell they'd just concentrate on building nice houses that people actually want to live in, rather than tiny boxes that make the most efficient use of land and crowd everyone together. It's not rocket science for Christ's sake!

I need to contact the National Physical Laboratory - I'm sure there's a standing gravitational wave underneath our bathroom, well, either that or an event horizon. At least that's the conclusion I've reached from the readings on the bathroom scales.