Bear Boxing Boris

Overheard during a TV item on boxing:

TV Interviewer: "The problem is if boxing were to be banned it would just go underground."

Chairman: "Bear baiting didn't go underground."

Hay: "But you didn't have people boxing bears - and in any case there are no bears left here."

Chairman: "When was the last time you went into the Cotswolds? Bloody bears all over the place! There are a few places where there aren't any, but that's because the locals boxed them to death."

They do say David Cameron will resign if we vote to leave the EU. It's tempting, I must say. However, the chances are we'd get  Boris, and that's the worst of all possible outcomes.

Hot on the heels of a dire Easter TV schedule, the BBC proudly announces it's going to remake Till Death Us Do Part, Steptoe and Son and Hancock's Half Hour. It's tantamount paying Damian Hirst millions to repaint the Mona Lisa.