The Rocker Horror Show

I many have mentioned that I took delivery of my Mazda MX5 BP-4W engine a couple of weeks ago, and decided to effect some renovation over the weekend. These lumps are renowned for being bulletproof - this one's done 80k miles, which is nothing. All the usual things - seals, timing belt, alternator, coil packs, water pump, etc. - will be replaced.

There comes a moment in every classic car restorer’s life – somewhere between the fifth snapped stud and the hundredth eBay listing for “genuine” Lucas fuses – when he decides, without warning or sense, to paint his engine. Not just paint it, mind – detail it. Suddenly it has to look like a bloody showroom piece.

I first got ChatGPT to render some colour options - and that took long enough.

Then to stick it in a GT6 engine bay.

Nowhere near perfect - the inlet manifold is all wrong, but near enough. That took most of a morning, as it kept reverting to old images and then lost the GT6 engine bay completely for a while. However, it does give a reasonable idea of what it will look like in a California Sage, GT6 engine bay.

The cast iron block and aluminium head were wire brushed and Jenolited before being painted silver.

I also tackled the sump and painted that satin black. Then, like some deranged alchemist, I found myself hunched over the rocker cover, muttering incantations about “crackle black” and “silver enamel,” wielding tiny brushes and eyedroppers like a cross between Jackson Pollock and a neurosurgeon.

Did I mention the lettering? DOHC 16-VALVE, embossed proudly as if to scream “I am not a Pinto.” But those letters are recessed, and filled with the sort of awkward angles that would defeat a nanobot. So the plan? Satin black enamel (less attractive to dirt and grime than crackle finish), and  drop silver enamel into the embossed lettering using a syringe. Neat. Precise. Surgical.

Ha.

Within minutes, the garage looked like Liberace had sneezed into a tin of Hammerite. The silver ran. The black lifted. The DOHC resembled a cry for help. And I discovered – too late – that the enamel, though “engine safe,” behaved like custard on a trampoline.

But undeterred – or more likely, unhinged – I soldiered on. I sanded, I wiped. I stared at the finish and declared it “not bad… from six feet away… in the dark.” Until, of course, I noticed the silver lettering paint had split like a Tory cabinet.

I did get there in the end, as you can see from the above photo..

Now, in a moment of inspiration or madness (they're the same thing at this stage), I considered filling the lettering with metal powder. Yes, glitter. Like I’ve been possessed by a drag queen with a torque wrench. The idea: dust the recesses, then dribble in clear lacquer so it sets like some bespoke jeweller’s homage to 1990s Japanese engineering. This is not a build. This is an art installation. I might yet try it.

So if you see a Mk3 GT6 with Mazda guts and a rocker cover that looks like it belongs in a Bond Street boutique, know this – it wasn’t vanity. It wasn’t for show. It was a desperate, paint-flecked man trying to assert some control in a world where every bolt fights back and nothing ever fits first time.

Next the inlet manifold has to be removed and painted silver, like the block. I have no exhaust manifold, but I need a bespoke one to accommodate the turbo anyway.  

I also need to source a full set of stainless steel nuts for the engine mounts, rocker cover, various accessories and the manifolds from somewhere. Any assistance gratefully received. Unlike for the GT6, where you can buy a complete set of nuts for just about everything, full sets simply don't seem to exist for the MX5 engine.

The problem with all this is that removing one part for renovation invariably means removing something else in order to gain access, which leads to removing something else, which leads..... Before you know it you have several boxes of parts and associated nots, bolts and screws, risking mixing them all up. The key thing is to take loads of photos BEFOE you start dismantling everything, especially if you're not familiar with the engine in the first place, like I am.