Semi-Blindness

Overheard in Pembroke':

Chairman: "Is this a charity shop?"

Hay; "Of course not - can't you see it's a gift shop?"

Chairman; "Don't forget I have my new specs on, so I can't see a thing."

I bought some replacement specs from Glasses Direct, or some such on-line emporium, but I think I chose the wrong varifocal option and I've been staggering around like an old person for a week. Changes in the floor level are invisible and tripping is a daily hazard.

Spotted this lovely selfie-stick holder in one of the charity shops.

We bought some food in a Co-Op there. I've seen everything now.

Can no-one boil eggs anymore?

These Are Not the Promises You're Looking For

In order to give the impression of change and save his bacon, The Greased Piglet is to announce a slew of new, populist policies in the coming weeks - policies which, again, won't be delivered, much as all his policies and promises to date haven't been delivered.

• 50,000 more nurses and 6,000 more GPs
• 40 new hospitals.
• 20,000 more police.
• Getting Brexit done.
• No checks on good going between UK and NI and NI to UK.
• Points-based immigration system.
• No rise in income taxes or National Insurance.
• Fixing the crisis in the care system.
• Keeping the Triple Lock.
• Spending 0.7% of GNI on international aid.
• Fastest vaccine roll-out in Europe.
• Fastest growth in G7.

Here we have a photo of Johnson doing his Jedi mind trick, saying; "These are not the promises you are looking for."

The problem is that he hasn't actually mastered the technique. His problem is the lack of commitment or planning and the fact his Cabinet is stuffed with fiercely loyal incompetents.

Trophy

We had our annual Village Day on Sunday and, given the rain on Monday, we left the dismantling and packing away of all the marquees till yesterday afternoon.

The climax of every Village Day is the Tug of War, in which different streets, roads and lanes compete against each other, in a men's event and a women's event. We will probably come under fire for not having a trans event, but seriously, merely putting on a wig and smearing yourself in lipstick to join the women's team is cheating.

I have a suggestion to improve the commitment and effort of the participants, which I intend to put to the Village Hall Committee - the trophy should be the gilded skulls of the losing team.

No Confidence

So Johnson has won the vote of no confidence. It has been suggested that one reason is the lack of credible challengers, but what about Tobias Ellwood, Jeremy Hunt, Ben Wallace or Tom Tugendhat?

Certainly no-one in the Cabinet, as Johnson has selected sycophants with about the same level of competence as himself, so that they are no threat. Arguably, many don't even have a single vestige of competence, such as Nadine Dorries, who in her defence of Johnson accused former Health Secretary Jeremy Hunt of being unprepared for a pandemic and believes we're currently at war with Russia.

For those within the Tory Party to say there's no-one competent enough to supersede a corrupt liar and charlatan is a severe indictment indeed, as Johnson is the epitome of incompetence.

His win last night was with a lower percentage support than May, who was gone within 6 months of winning her vote of no confidence; however, time will be short if he does get removed. He's not immune, as many believe, as the 1922 Committee (which was formed in 1923) can change its rules about his not being subject to another vote for 12 months. If Johnson can play fast and loose with rules, so can they. 

The danger now is of a Labour landslide at the next GE, which could be as dangerous as the Tory landslide that brought Johnson into power – large majorities are not good for politics and the ghost of Corbyn has not yet been fully excised from the Labour Party. We have seen how a small element of the Tory Party - the extremist ERG - exercised almost total control over it. The same could happen with a large Labour majority over a single, divisive issue.  

What’s certain is that Johnson will learn no lesson from this and will continue his reign of misrule, repeating his first year’s Queen’s Speech over and over again because of his inability to consider the consequences of his policies – he’s spectacularly unable to develop coherent plans and spends all his time firefighting while claiming he’s delivered what he patently hasn’t. 

The Tories lost their chance of an excellent PM when they voted for Johnson rather than Rory Stewart.

Cat Wall

We've been looking after Jumbo (real name, Jimmy) while his owners - our neighbours - have been on holiday. 

Unfortunately, Jumbo and Kitty don't get on too well (in fact, they detest each other) and Jumbo has a habit of refusing to use the cat flap in his own house and taking up residence with us - even when his owners are in residence - requiring us to boot him out regularly do Kitty doesn't become too stressed.

To establish some form of détente, we've had to introduce an International Cat Wall.

That's Kitty on the left and Jumbo on the right. It works quite effectively.

Jubilee & Monarchy

Never in the field of digital photography will so many Platinum Jubilee photos be lost when phones are upgraded. Sad, but true.

So Boris was booed and jeered when entering and leaving St Paul's on Friday. True to form, Nadine Dorries, Johnson's unthinking attack-dog, waded in and said there were more cheers than boos. I think she needs spelling lessons - it's spelled 'jeers', not 'cheers' and I think she was merely parroting Johnson's claim that; "There was no booze."

I do sometimes wonder whether those who vehemently support the monarchy would support it as much if Andrew or Harry, were direct in line to the throne? If not, then it's not the institution of the monarchy they support, but the present incumbent who, with the exception of the occasional and forgivable slip, has performed the job in an exemplary manner. However, her powers are limited and she is little more than a cypher to whatever malfeasance the government may get up to. That is not good when the incumbent is capable and loved and the government hated, but extremely good in the case of an incompetent and hated monarch and a government that's liked.

That's not to say a cypher doesn't have its uses - a good cypher is a potent rallying point in times of crisis; an embodiment of the country as a whole. Louis XIV, the Sun King, took this to the zenith of its conclusion in his statement; "L'état, c'est moi," which some maintain is apocryphal.

My abiding memory of Queen Elizabeth is opening Parliament in a hat that looked suspiciously like the flag of the European Union. She has ways of making her views known.

It is rather strange that millions of flag waving monarchists have brought chaos to town centre roads across the country over the Bank Holiday weekend with their protests in support of the Queen, but the police never moved them on. However, just a handful of animal rights or climate protesters make some people go bonkers and demand their execution.

At least Elizabeth has shown unswerving, 70 year dedication to duty, whereas those at the top of our government have, in a very short space of time, trashed the very notion of duty in favour of greed, complacency, self-servience, lethargy and utter incompetence. The fault for that lies with the Prime Minister, who has eliminated within his Cabinet anyone who could feasibly challenge him - dogged loyalty has trumped competence. He then compounds his greed and debases his office by rewriting the Ministerial Code such that what was once a resignation issue is no longer relevant.

No wonder Britain is no longer trusted or revered internationally, being a byword for corruption. Britain talks big on the international stage of the rule of International Law, while simultaneously showing every inclination to defy it when it's convenient. Honesty, decency and integrity lie in the gutter at the feet of this PM.

However, on the bright side, I'm looking forward to buying Malbec by the gallon in Tesco. Oh, hang on, wine makers don't use Imperial measurements....

Blotters and Copybooks

No.1 Son and I were having a discussion on the imminent elimination of Boris Johnson. He asked whether Rishi Sunak would win the race to replace him, to which I responded that Sunak had blotted his copybook.

I was horrified to discover that No.1 Son was totally ignorant of what that phrase meant. He pointed out that blotting was something that was done when people used fountain pens and he had no idea what a copybook was. For him - a 24 year-old - the phrase was from the deep recesses of history.

It makes one feel old when one has to explain phrases which were common currency not that long ago.

A Well-Deserved Foreign Holiday

Who on earth chooses to holiday abroad to holiday hotspots just as we're recovering, economically, from Covid? It's madness and chaotic airports are a self-fulfilling prophesy.

Reading news stories, people are saying they deserve a foreign holiday now. Deserve? Perhaps those who maintained vital public services deserve a holiday, but do they - or indeed anyone - deserve a foreign holiday? For the majority, furlough was one long, paid holiday.

I don't think we've had a foreign holiday since we went to Gozo in 2014, and I'm not missing going to foreign climes. In fact, Gozo was a hell-hole of unairconditioned heat, which I didn't particularly enjoy.

My advice to those who really want to go abroad is to not go to the places everyone else wants to go to - the chances of flights being delayed are massively smaller. Try Ukraine, Syria or Somalia - can't see any scrambling for seats on flights to those destinations.

Further advice would be to holiday within the UK. The worst that could happen is that your holiday comprises one large deluge of rain and a bit of windy weather. At least you'd be infinitely more guaranteed of reaching your destination and getting back. Why risk torture with an attendant high cost?

The Negotiation Window

Ukraine is becoming a problem and Zelensky is going to have to face up to some difficult decisions, before it's too late.

• It would seem Ukraine's ascendancy is now under threat and Putin is focusing on the eastern area of Ukraine on his borders.
• The West is supporting Ukraine with weapons, but not boots on the ground, and quite understandably not. 
• The West is also supporting Ukraine with sanctions (primarily oil) but, as the oil tapers off it becomes more expensive, so Russia is, arguably, still getting the same revenues as pre-sanctions.
• The cost of weapons and the effects of sanctions are hitting the West too, and it's a drain that can't be sustained indefinitely, as we're facing our own problems. Unity is already wavering and will waver more as winter approaches.

A stage is going to be reached when the desire by the West to see Putin kicked in the teeth is outweighed by the cost of supporting Ukraine - and Ukraine-fatigue will set in. We're talking realpolitik here, versus idealism - it's others who are dying to satisfy our prurient desires.

Zelensky can only negotiate successfully from a position of strength, and that position of strength has already, arguably, passed as Russia regroups and is starting to have successes in the east.

Should Ukraine cede parts of the country, parts that would be a running sore for decades to come if retained, rather than risking losing the entire country? Russia is much better resourced in the long term and therefore better positioned in a war of attrition. If Western aid falters, then Zelensky and Ukraine are done for. Western involvement, particularly in the area of sanctions, is totally dependent on the support of the electorate and will last only as long as the sanctions don't hurt them too much. Putin doesn't need the support of his electorate, which he merely a passive drones to manipulate to his advantage.

The possible fall of Putin will not result in Russia suddenly being admitted to the ranks of liberal democracies - corruption is firmly entrenched and another hard man would simply replace him. 

The window for negotiation and salvaging something from this is fast closing, if it hasn't already shut. Even if a peace is agreed, the West will have to shoulder the cost of rebuilding Ukraine - Russia certainly won't.

As I've said since the start of this conflict, the long-term objective has to be articulated and strategy formulated around that, taking into consideration pragmatic realities and timescales. The objective cannot possibly be the permanent expulsion of Russian forces from the eastern areas - Ukraine-fatigue will set in well before that could feasibly happen, and even then it would not be a permanent cessation of hostilities.

Ceding eastern areas, well populated by Ukrainian nationalists, would create a poisoned chalice for Russia; retaining eastern areas, well populated by secessionists, would be a poisoned chalice for Ukraine. That's just simple fact.

It's entirely understandable that the Ukrainian government wants the complete expulsion of Russian forces, but is that possible and, if so, would it lead to a cessation of hostilities? Think of Eire and Northern Ireland on the island of Ireland. Who has had the greater problems in Northern Ireland - Eire or the UK? Learn from history, which has a tendency to repeat itself.

I totally accept that talk of ceding parts of Ukraine to Russia will be seen as defeastism and appeasement to Ukrainians and, indeed, many in the West. I would see it that way if I were a Ukrainian. However, it's just facing up to a fast approaching necessity. Additionally, ceding part of Ukraine to secure peace would allow Greater Ukraine to then join NATO, which is impossible in the present circumstances. That's a massive strategic gain ensuring permanent protection for Greater Ukraine. Putin may not want that, but if he wants the separatist areas, that's the price he will have to pay.

The best analogy I can come up with is having your arm or leg amputated to save the rest of your body and then having the remaining body covered in armour.

It's a mistake to think that public support, once achieved, is unwavering. As soon as a policy decision hurts the voter, attitudes to that once universally-acclaimed policy will and do change. The public is fickle in the face of personal loss.

Most of us alive today lived through the Cold War. Another Cold War with a fascist, totalitarian Russia, rather than communist, totalitarian Russia, is nothing new.

Strongteaum

 I've coined a new word in our domestic vocabulary - strongteaum.

Hay always makes her tea in the manner of builders - very strong - whereas I prefer a more delicate brew favoured by woke, European philosophers - weak with a bit of sugar.

That made the portmanteau word 'strongteaum' to burst forth from my mouth and, henceforth, a brew for Hay will be termed strongteaum.