Friday, 20 February 2009

Friday 20/2/09

Phew – never had so many hits in one day. Richard must have invited all his mates over for a look at yesterday’s post.

There’s a BBC headline today saying ‘Agents find billionaire Stanford’. I thought the point was that he isn’t a billionaire.

Talking of money; I’ve come to the conclusion that the best thing Jade Goody can do to ensure her kids become normal, well-adjusted adults with a chance of a decent education is to arrange for them to be adopted into a loving family before she goes. Sod the money, it won’t guarantee anything, except perhaps that they will grow up to be totally spoilt or that there will be a humungous legal battle for who controls it – her husband to be, who by all accounts is somewhat dysfunctional, or the kids’ father, who doesn’t seem to figure anywhere in Goody’s plans, despite being their father, but when did that bother some women? I note Ms Goody is not above trashing the children’s father in the press at every available opportunity. Money causes more problems than it solves, and I guarantee there’s going to be trouble over custody (of the cash) the minute Ms Goody pops her clogs.

On the subject of custody; there’s a rumour going around that Alfie Patten, the 13 year-old father, has been given honorary membership of Fathers-4-Justice as he already has the Spiderman suit.

Labour's deputy leader, Harriet Harman, has ‘ruled out’ any ambition to replace Gordon Brown as prime minister. On a more worrying front, Gordon Brown has ‘ruled out’ speculation that he could step down to take up a new role as global financial regulator. Guardian columnist, Jackie Ashley, wrote earlier this week that German Chancellor, Angela Merkel, was pushing for Brown to leave Downing Street to head a new global financial regulation body. Given the ex bank chiefs were roasted by a Labour politician last week for not having any banking qualifications, putting Brown in as the head of a global regulator without any relevant paper qualifications sounds like hypocrisy.

Back to more mundane issues. Can’t seem to shed my winter plumage. Put on half a stone or more over Christmas and Hay keeps poking me about it. Will have to resume the swimming, or have emergency liposuction. The diuretics the doctor gave me last week seem to be having a slight effect on the BP, but the greatest difference is that I no longer have to take a pee some 4 or 5 times at night. Except for possibly one deballast around 2am, I’m virtually sleeping through the night and waking up refreshed.

Did you know that Queen Victoria, Pope Leo XIII and Pope Saint Pius X were coke-heads? They drank a tonic wine called Vin Mariani, which was a cocaine infused alcoholic precursor of Coca-Cola.

Here are some pictures to make you all go – Ahhhhhh.

We pikeys (the link is for my American readers) call these creatures ‘snacks’.


  1. I didn't think it was possible, but you've done it! A post that hits on Jade Goody (I totally agree, to the point that I think you must have somehow burgled my brain), 13 year old dads, some mumbo-jumbo about a fellow named Gordon and 'celebrity' drug addicts. Hot Damn!

  2. I am willing to be shot down in flames by the majority, but why all the fuss about J Goody needing to send her kids to private school, when it's absolutely not essential - What is wrong with schools in her area? Many achieve just as good results as independents - It is an excuse, I feel, for the media circus that is rolling on... And those boys do have a father, who has his own media career and should be looking after those boys - I worry about their future, really, with the media likely to be dogging their every step - but she has created this future for all of them too...

    p.s. Don't you dare think of eating that beautiful little critter, Sir! Did you find it, or are those stock photos?

  3. Fhina,

    The photos were sent to Hay by someone at work. It was a mass distribution and Hay said that the minute people opened the e-mail you could hear synchronous sighs of, "Ahhhhh," from all around the room.

    What Goody's kids need is being taken away from the dysfunction. However, you can't do that. If all kids were to be taken away from dysfunctional families, there would be few families left.

    Public school does produce some really nice people though. It also produces some real plonkers - as does every school.


  4. The sad fact of the matter is that Jades generation think that to be a success you have to be rich, such a shame.
    Btw chairman, I used to play Conway at rugby many moons ago, Does Ellesmere ring any bells?
    What's happened to the e smoking, it seems to have gone quiet or have I missed something?

  5. CG,

    Ellesmere does certainly ring a bell. I was there 69-71, so we may have exchanged a punch or two, dependin gon your vintage.

    Still smoking the Es. Have reduced to low strength, but don't feel as satisfied. Need to wean myself off the damned thing now.


  6. It always amazes me how much you manage to cram into a single post.
    This was a really good post to read.
    I look forward to more.

  7. Jo - there is a thought process and some logic behind my posts. I just can't discern it myself.

  8. There is a woman in the US who just gave birth to 8 babies. Slowly information came out that she was single, living on food stamps and student loans with her parents, and, here's the kicker, she already has 6 children. All of the children were conceived in vitro by the same donor.

    People are so angry and fertility doctors are saying they would never implant 8 embryos at one time, and that they would have ordered a psychiatric examination since she already has 6 kids.

    She hired a publicist who then quit since she was getting death threats. Now apparently she is being offered all kinds of things, including a reality show, and is currently on the market for a $1.8 million house.

    It's so wrong.

  9. Hi Bill!

    That's a darn cute picture there. I KNOW you're not gonna eat that...Or you would have the worst indigestion and guilty conscience ever!
    Nice to read you again sir!

  10. Ahhh! Too small to eat - needs fattening up.

  11. Louise - that's why they're called hedgehog nuggets.

  12. Now Bill, you'll have Jamie Oliver all over you if you dare to serve hedgehog nuggets to schoolchildren!