Wednesday, 16 November 2011

Bringing the Outside Inside



A bloke in the southwest found a dead bird - probably a starling - in a bag of Tesco salad. Rather than simply taking it to Tesco for a refund, he puts it on display to the press and makes a big hoo-ha about it.

Bagged salads are processed almost with no human intervention, so it's bound to happen that things that live in the open - and die there - occasionally get into them. It's not as it he would have actually forked it up and stuffed it in his gob - it was a whole bird, for heaven's sake.

He even admits himself that he didn't notice it as he poured it into a bowl - it was only as it was placed on the table that his girlfriend noticed it as she was "seconds away from eating it". However, methinks he embroiders the story too much; perhaps he smells a massive payout from Tesco.

I'm just surprised it doesn't happen more often - I'm looking forward to finding a dead otter in my broccoli one of these days.

Get over it! Who on earth buys bagged salad anyway? Much easier and cheaper to buy a whole lettuce - less chance of finding wildlife in it too. As for dining on Tesco pizza and salad - he's asking for trouble and obviously doesn't care what crap he shovels into his mouth.

The BMA has recommended an outright ban on smoking in cars - even if there were no passengers, as the best way of protecting children as well as non-smoking adults.

The head of science at the BMA admitted introducing a total ban would be a "bold and courageous" move. More like a lunatic move. How on earth will it be policed anyway given you're lucky to see a police car these days unless you're caught up in a 25 car motorway pile up. And why a total ban, even if there are no others in the car?

When I smoked, I would always open the driver window a crack so as the smoke was naturally extracted - as I think all smokers do, as even they don't like sitting in a hermetically sealed tin full of smoke. Passengers always maintained they couldn't even smell the smoke under those conditions. And what about electronic cigarettes with no particulates or carcinogens - how are the police to distinguish between those and real cigarettes?

The lunatics are running the asylum!

Next it will be no drinking in bars.


7 comments:

  1. Everyone looking for easy money, Bill, lets hope the starling's family has something to say to Tesco. What about their rights to life. Could it be a case of the 'Birds' seeking revenge?

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  2. I was "seconds away" from being killed yesterday. If I hadn't have stopped and turned left at the bottom of our drive within seconds I would have been dead as a big bus came down the duel carriageway. Perhaps I should sue the bus company.

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  3. I wonder what wine one should have with "Starling"..? (maybe you could tweet me with some suggestions ;)

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  4. JF: I say give him the bird...

    Alan: Think of the payout!

    SB: something with a nice beak - sorry, nose.

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  5. If it had been a pie, I'd be asking where the other three and twenty had gone. Seriously though, was the bird dead when it was packed, or was it living with lettuce in an enclosed place? Lettuce is after all is said and done full of laudanum and heavens knows what other toxins have been sprayed on it during its growing period.

    I'm a reformed smoker and therefore one of the worse, but even I feel the certain Health Officials (not experts) are urging Nanny State where perhaps Nanny don't want to go.

    We've got mass youth unemployment, so perhaps we should encourage smoking and withdraw health provisions to help ease the problem

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  6. Funny, funny stuff, dead birds in salads and all. The world is weird and getting weirder.

    Gotta tell youm, those eyes are freaking me out.

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