Monopoly

I heard the other day that there's a big question mark over Hinkley B. Well, I imagine the last thing the locals want is a bloody huge question mark destroying the view.

All this "renewable" energy - solar, wind, tide - is driven by one thing and one thing only, a huge nuclear reactor some 83 million miles away called the sun. All fossil fuel too is just a battery for ancient solar power.

There's one thing about the sun that concerns me - it's a monopoly, possibly run by God Energy Inc., which we all know to be in the pay of one Rupert Murdoch (it's no accident that Rupert Murdoch also spells 'corrupt red hum').

I think that, in the interested of customer choice, we should have an alternative to the sun, and until such time as a rival power company manages to haul in another one from a distant solar system, then the only answer is having our own nuclear power here on earth.

Contraceptive Pet Hate at the BBC

I've developed a new pet hate - hotel booking sites.

Wanted to book a room in an hotel near my office, as I'm returning late from a business meeting in Aberdeen tonight and it will be a pain to go all the way home from Southampton and then back again at 6am on Thursday for another meeting. 

On searching for the phone number for the hotel, all I could raise on Google was half a hundred bloody 3rd party booking sites, none of which had the hotel phone number (naturally, as they don't want you to book direct). 

It's not as if I'm incapable of phoning an hotel and booking a room, for God's sake!

When I finally did manage to find a phone number, I couldn't get a response from the other end. A message told me my call was important - but obviously not that important, else they wouldn't have kept me holding on for 15 minutes.

Ended up having to book through a booking site after all....

One hears that abortion is the new contraceptive for some under 16s. Not ideal, is it? While I'm pro-choice, there's pro-choice and simply taking the piss out of the NHS.

You know, it strikes me that the BBC could save a shed-load of money if they didn't do so many needless outside broadcasts. They never seem to miss a chance to do some news item without having a live reporter standing outside (or inside) some vaguely relevant location that adds nothing to the story itself, yet must cost an arm and a leg in communication costs. 

Qatada Weather Tax

Was I right in hearing that Abu Qatada is going to appear in front of Lord Leveson to defend his links with News International boss Rupert Murdoch?

I swear the BBC is employing kids as weather presenters. Our local one can be no older than 12. It must be part of a new Youth Training Scheme.

Talking of weather, we've got The Simpsons' sky here today.

There's a story in the news about a new on-line government tax calculator falling over due to the number of users trying to access it. I reckon it must be the Greeks - or possibly people working out how much the pasty tax is going to cost them.

Eurovision Special Offers

Azerbaijan - Eurovision? Doesn't quite ring true, does it? Traditionally Europe ended at the river Don. Like the Roman Empire at its point of collapse, Europe is extending its boundaries at an alarming rate and admitting the barbarian hordes to its institutions while the centre collapses into a mire of decadence and corruption. I wonder which grouping will successfully emerge from the ensuing Dark Ages?

Talking of tradition, why do we have a tradition of an Irishman hosting our Eurovision commentary?  

My boy sent me this yesterday. Is it another example of supermarkets taking advantage of the general populace's poor arithmetic skills with bogus special offers, or just plain stupidity?

Ignominious Rock Deaths & Fire

I see 'ffire' has finally reached Wales with the Olympic torch. I'm sure many will still hanker after the good old days, but it had to happen. It won't stop there though; mark my words - the 'wheell' will reach Welsh shores before much longer.

Steve Peregrin Took (once of T Rex fame and born Stephen Ross Porter) died from asphyxiation by inhaling a cocktail cherry. Not exactly a classic Rock and Roll death, is it? Wasn't Jimmy Page's pool a famous venue for Rock Deaths?

Here's a list of Rock Deaths - seems the classic Rock and Roll deaths from drug overdoses, choking on your own vomit, chronic liver failure and guitar electrocution are giving way to cancer and natural causes.

Talking of Rock and Roll - everyone ready to vote for Spain to win Eurovision?

I hear Jeremy Hunt - that government bloke who has been clinging on to his job for longer than decency allows - has shown himself to be a closet Frenchie. Don't give a damn about the other scandal surrounding him, but a Frenchie passing himself off as a Brit in the British government is unforgivable. Is this what Agincourt was fought for?

Ryan Air & the Palma Vikings

On the Ryan Air flight back from Palma last night I was corporately robbed of £2.80 for a bottle of water that usually retails for about £0.75p max. Other than that I have no complaints about Ryan Air.

Palma itself is hideous; hordes of shouty, heavily tattooed British men and inappropriately dressed, fat, badly sunburned British girls - also heavily tattooed. The Brits have become the new Vikings.

The other side was acres of glitzy, bejewelled, conspicuous consumption in the marinas. Lots of rich, fat blokes with skinny, orange women half their age.

I guess there must be nice parts of the Island where the locals live, but unfortunately I didn't get to see them.

SqueezyJet

Flew to Madrid by EasyJet yesterday evening - was pleasantly surprised (well, you hear all these hideous stories about the El-Cheapo airlines). It was an all-female aircrew and it was the smoothest take off and landing I've experienced in a long time.

Madrid is tiny - watching out of the cabin window I thought we were landing at some waypoint village to refuel.

Two meetings today, then on to Palma first thing tomorrow for three more meetings, then back to Bristol at 10pm by Ryan Air, which may be a totally different experience.

A Litigious Olympic Torch

Are you, like me, rather uneasy about all these injury compensation claim adverts on the part of lawyers that are flooding the commercial TV channels?

Yes, OK, if you have an injury and it's someone else's fault (or even criminal), then you should be able to resort to litigation. However, something about the way injury lawyers tout for business just smacks of ripping people off. It's like abdicating responsibility for your own safety and making someone else responsible for it - it's un-British.

"Have you been offended by the way someone has looked at you in a public place? Call 'I Feel Offended Lawyers 4U' immediately and we'll take them to court to teach them a lesson they'll never forget." Know what I mean?

Another thing that seems un-British is selling your Olympic Torch on eBay before you've even taken possession of it. If you're selling it for charity, then all well and good, but for personal gain?

I asked one of the 'sellers' what charity he or she was donating the money to. Had no response this far. I suspect most of the offers, and even bids, are fake.

PM Accused of Sleeping

It has been alleged that the Prime Minister, David Cameron, actually sleeps.

This has brought condemnation from the Labour Party, who maintain he obviously does not have his eye on the ball. 

When interviewed about his workload on BBC Radio 4's Today programme last month, Mr Cameron said: "It's got to be possible to be a decent husband, a good father and a good prime minister at the same time."

Obviously, he has not yet found the secret of how to accomplish this.

Women Bishops Guard Borders

Some 2,200 women have signed a petition saying they don't want to be overseen by women bishops, citing the argument that Jesus didn't choose women to be his disciples.

I fail to see the validity of this reasoning, as Mary Magdalene is thought by most to be the "Beloved Disciple" of the Gospel of John, and the church itself called her the "Apostle to the Apostles". She was Jesus' most constant companion.

Indeed she was the first to see the resurrection and was therefore the first apostle, having been instructed by Jesus to go and tell Peter and the other merry men about the good news.

Finally, if your argument for not wanting women bishops is because Jesus didn't choose women, then why on earth follow the teachings of one Paul of Tarsus, who certainly wasn't a disciple and didn't even know Jesus in the first place?

No, they must come up with a better argument that that, especially in these days of gender equality, a concept that was utterly alien in 1st century life. If you're going to use that argument you may as well say black people are forbidden from being bishops, or white, Anglo-Saxon Protestants. I suspect there's something more visceral behind this, but I'm damned if I know what.

I see the Daily Mail is at it again - headline says: "Don't Panic - Ministers Hire Filing Clerks to Guard Borders." Bit over the top, ain't it? Does the DM really expect the government to give temporary border inspectors 3 months training for what is essentially a 2 week job? Can it be that hard to check someone's passport, especially if you have a real immigration officer to call on if needed? Does it really take more than 3 days to learn how to look at a passport? It's not as if these temps are going to need to know UK immigration law by heart, for God's sake!