Monday, 23 March 2009

Monday 23/03/09

The government has released files on alleged UFO sightings from the 1980s. One report concerns a woman who was approached by a tall, blonde alien with a "Scandinavian-type accent" near Norwich in 1989. He apparently told the woman that he was under strict instruction not to tell anyone he was an alien but couldn’t resist the temptation. In any crowd there’s always one who has to give the game away - isn’t that just typical? I must admit it’s rather depressing to discover that aliens are just like humans – but Scandinavian. Could it be that Abba are aliens?

If I had £1 for every Norwegian who had told me he was an alien (especially after a litre of Akvavit) I'd have about £6 by now.

Had a massive surge in hits on Saturday. Someone had listed the blog on a service called, which more than doubled the normal traffic. Any enlightenment from the techknowledgeable would be welcome.

The school run is hitting the news with ministers trying to find ways of stopping over-protective yummy-mummies clogging the streets around schools. Why don’t they just ban non-resident parking anywhere near schools? I used to walk 1.5 miles to my primary school and cycle 3 miles to my secondary school. Why can’t kids these days walk, cycle or get the bus?

Here’s a conundrum for you; the law does not specify an age when a child can be left at home alone, however, parents commit an offence if leaving the child at home alone puts him or her at risk. Now it’s commonly accepted that leaving a child of under 13 at home alone constitutes a punishable offence, yet it’s perfectly acceptable to send a child out to play all day unsupervised. That’s slightly illogical, as it’s saying that it’s the location where the child is that determines whether it’s an offence or not – and a child’s own home is probably one of the safest places in the world for it to be. When I was a kid I would be out all day playing with friends and my mother had only the vaguest idea of where I was – that was the way of the world in those days, but it worked and produce a generation of kids who weren’t afraid of their own shadow.

We went to Cornwall at the weekend and stayed in a place called The Towans, which is amazing, but for all the wrong reasons. As far as town planning regulations are concerned, the place is the equivalent of the Wild West. The place looks like planning anarchy is the order of the day. Mock Nouveau Riche next to 1940s suburban next to Park Home impermanence next to clap-board summerhouse. I’m certain the local council is blissfully unaware of the place, or else it’s a university PhD research project for the Department of the Urban Environment to see what happens when all planning restrictions are lifted.

Right next to the ‘village’ is what must be the world’s largest caravan park. Acres and acres of holiday caravans as far as the eye can see. If you saw this number of caravans in Russia you’d think it was Magnetogorsk. Here are some pictures I took:

That last one is the view from one of the serried ranks of caravans.

Despite the whole complex looking something like the set of ‘The Great Escape’, the individual caravans are actually quite nice inside and more than adequate as permanent accommodation for a couple or a small family. Perhaps places like this are a solution to illegal immigrants and refugees; more than adequate housing, but a place you wouldn’t really wish to remain in if you could possibly avoid it (although for some immigrants these places might look like heaven on earth).

Why is it that we’re all obsessed with bigger and bigger houses and status symbols?

Here's another image from my Statement Parking Competition:

To see what I mean, look at the lines that form the parking bays.


Jinksy said...

Makes me even more glad I've never had a car, nor learned to drive.
I think an alien, green wheelie bin was sussing out your caravan site when you took those pictures...

A Woman Of No Importance said...

So, when were you following me to take that photo of my parking, Sir?

And, you went for a break from the caravan, to a caravan?

Chairman Bill said...

Jinksy - I see what you mean.

Woman - no! The caravan park adjoined our holiday flat. Wouldn't stay in a caravan if you paid me. Well..... actually I would. They are extremely comfortable.

Jennysmith said...

Hi Bill. My first ever comment on your site, eh?

I tell you they have virtually done that near my Son's school. Got rid of the Voucher parking and even the Permit parking and replaced it with a Car Club area. Someone did explain what this was but i'm still lost.

So parking is virtually intolerable on that richmond road. So i top up my Oyster and jump on that bus. Yes, maybe they should do that at every school.

and why are cars so big? There are parents parking inside the school with one child in some huge bloody thing - don't ask me what it is but their tyres are bigger than my car!

Glad you had a nice weekend xxxx