Wednesday, 22 June 2011

The Sound of Grinding Axes

Armed forces chiefs are coming out and saying the cuts mean their fighting ability is compromised. The PM is slapping them down.

Who are the experts in warfare? The defence chiefs! Who have an axe to grind? The defence chiefs! One wonders whether they protest too much. They are, after all, both chief executives of their respective arms and union bosses combined.

A light-sensitive protein in the human eye has been shown to act as a "compass" in a magnetic field when it is present in flies' eyes, boffins have discovered. Men have know this fact for years - it's why their eyes are irresistibly drawn to tits.

A leading composer has called for people who use mobile phones during concerts to be fined. I suggest snipers in strategic locations.

Too much alcohol, drugs, and sex, coupled with poor hygiene, can be a health risk at festivals, an expert is warning. Clever buggers, these 'experts' - I'd never have guessed that myself...

1 comment:

Steve Borthwick said...

Tits are magnetic?... so that's where all those bloody lost keys go...