Saturday, 24 December 2011

Solar Powered Bums & Breasts


We are now generating solar electricity, but it’s not actually productive yet as it’s not hooked up to anything.


Yesterday I was pondering on why the human is the only mammal that wipes its bum. I reached the conclusion that it must be because of all the crap (if you’ll forgive the analogy) the average digestive system and lower intestine has to put up with – more so these days than hundreds of years ago. A bit of an indictment on the modern diet, I’d say. 

Apropos of the above, it seems that TV over this year’s festive period has nothing to offer but programmes about how to make a turkey dinner. Every celebrity chef in the country seems to be cashing in on the act. The rest of the schedule comprises Christmas editions of the vacuous game shows that are on the box every day of the week, or the same old hackneyed films that appeal only to the morbidly dull or very young children (solely on the basis that they've never seen them before). Even the Royal Society's Christmas lectures have, in succeeding years, been relegated to ever more obscure channels - I'm not even sure they're on TV this year (they've probably been replaced by a vapid, so-called 'documentary' on a day on the life of an Eddie Stobart truck - riveting!) TV these days panders to the lowest common denominator - i.e. those who would be intellectually challenged by a Christmas card.

The irony of this debacle over illegal French breast implants is that women have these things inserted into their bodies in the belief it makes them more attractive to men, but I think the majority of men would actually be put off by the knowledge that a woman had prosthetic augmentation – I know I would - I'd feel short changed. The mere fact a woman would contemplate it would be enough to put me off.

What's the betting that Prince Philip will be either driving a horse and carriage around Sandringham like a maniac by teatime, or dead?

I want to take this opportunity to wish all my readers a very happy Yuletide, or if any are practising Christians (there may still be one or two), a merry Christmas.


5 comments:

  1. I don't believe that women dress for men. I believe that they dress to impress other women. But the same sentiments apply.

    Happy Yuletide to you also sir. may the bird of paradise fly up your nose.

    Regards,

    Roger

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  2. Happy Christmas and tea lit blessings!

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  3. Merry Christmas & happy new year CB!

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  4. Just backed a $970 refund from the electric company for 2011. And paid no electricity bills for the year. Definitely the way to go.

    Happy Saturnalia.

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