Bikers' Guide to Corona Survival

The biker is at a natural advantage when it comes to Covid-19.

Firstly, there's the PPE.

The mask, or helmet as we bikers call it, prevents others from spitting directly on your face, while also preventing the biker from directly coughing or sneezing on others. The latter advantage can, however, lead to the biker stumbling around in a supermarket due to a hazed-up visor. It combines the functions of both a mask and eye protection.

Then we have the leathers. Now black leathers confer no direct advantage, but leathers that mimic dangerous animals or insects can act as a visual deterrent. My livery, as in the above photo, has the psychological effect of making people believe I am a wasp or bee and so they keep their distance.

The third strand in the biker's armoury in the furtherance of social distancing is the baseball or cricket bat, which can be casually slung over one shoulder in the manner of a samurai sword.

The baseball bat is quite effective at persuading other people to keep their distance. While the exact reasons for this are unclear, scientific studies have shown that people see it as a crude, yet effective measuring device to ensure the correct social distance is maintained.

The final strand is the ventilator - a device of last resort. I call it the Henry Ventilator.

I beat James Dyson by a country mile. I haven't quite solved the dust problem yet though, but I am expecting a lucrative contract from Boris any day now, providing he can be persuaded to come out from self-isolation in his fridge.