Wednesday 9 September 2020

The Problem With Carpet


Those who know me are aware than as a retirement job, and to keep me busy, I work in a 2nd hand car showroom. Since lockdown I was made redundant, but went self-employed and now work as a car valeter for my former employer, jokingly using the name Scratch and Stain (with hindsight I should have used Scratch, Smear and Stain), and have picked up a lot of information on dirty cars and how to clean them from watching the companies we used to use before lockdown.


I've also found some novel uses for some of the products used to clean cars - such as wheel cleaner concentrate being great for cleaning ovens and baked on food, and Traffic Film Remover being perfect for cleaning Cotswold stone floors.

I liberally spray Traffic Film Removed on a car's engine compartment, start said car, attack it with a jet wash and then spray the entire engine compartment with a product called Finish, is actually meant for spraying on plastic interiors. Finish dries to a brilliant shine on all plastic parts in the warm engine compartment and there's not an engine compartment that has defeated me - all the cars that leave my care look like the engine is brand new.

Some cars come into our supply chain in a truly disgusting condition with all manner of hideous detritus stuck in the carpets and the seats looking as if a chimps' tea party had been conducted on them. The most serious cases require a jet wash to be used inside the car, which is pretty drastic, but it can be done, so long as you're careful.

The best carpet I've cleaned was on a Jaguar XF, which was completely covered in long, white dog hairs and yet came up a treat with just a quick vacuum. Jaguar's secret is to use quality carpet. My secret is to use a 3,000 watt, industrial vacuum cleaner, which is actually 3 vacuum cleaners in a Dalek.

I do believe some car manufacturers get their carpet suppliers to send them the cheapest, nastiest carpet imaginable. Some, I'm certain say to their suppliers; "How about cardboard? Just put a light dusting of fuzz on it to make it look like carpet."

With such carpets, no amount of vacuuming will remove the ingrained dirt and using a jet spray is lethal to said carpet but, as most car carpets are black, a tin of matt black spray paint works wonders at regaining a clean, black carpet that looks new.

The only thing that regularly does annoy me is car windows - I have yet to find a product that gets rid of the smears on the inside of windscreens, and I've tried almost everything on the market, as well as home remedies - Windowlene, vinegar, car polish, automotive glass cleaner, etc. If anyone knows of something, let me know.


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