Wednesday, 6 October 2010

Marriage Benefit of a Tamarind Nature


I wonder whether there are any builders who listen to Radio 4 or Classic FM when going about their business? One can but hope.

Apropos of yesterday’s post concerning the government’s plan to rob me of £20 a week in child benefit; while I don’t mind being bereft of benefit, I to take exception to the ConDem’s latest wheeze, which is to hand most of it over to unhappily married, monogamous, Christian Daily Mail readers. Why, for God’s sake? If I am to be raided, then for heaven’s sake use it to pay off the deficit and not to encourage people to engage in quaint, anachronistic rituals involving precious metals.

I suggested to Hay that I engage in a polygamous marriage so we can claim double-bubble.

I was having a rummage through the fridge yesterday and found some tamarind paste. Not being 100% familiar with the stuff I looked it up. Believe it or not, this treacle-like substance is anthelminthic, antimicrobial, antiseptic, antiviral, good for asthma, an astringent, works on bacterial skin infections and boils, is useful for chest pain, cholesterol metabolism disorders, colds, colic, conjunctivitis, constipation (chronic or acute), diabetes, diarrhoea (chronic), dry eyes, dysentery (severe diarrhoea), eye inflammation, fever, is a food preservative and colourant, is beneficial for gallbladder disorders, gastrointestinal disorders, gingivitis, haemorrhoids, indigestion, insecticide, jaundice, keratitis, leprosy, liver disorders, nausea and vomiting, paralysis, poisoning, rash, rheumatism, saliva production, skin disinfectant/sterilization, sore throat, sores, sprains, sunscreen, sunstroke, swelling (joints), urinary stones and wound healing.

From the above it’s a regular miracle substance, so I scoffed a couple of spoons of it. I then spotted that excessive consumption has a laxative effect.

By all accounts it’s also used in Asia as a brass cleaner.

Given Kitty’s penchant for dismembering voles on the caravan’s carpet, I tried to explain to her the concept of non-existence yesterday – more as a threat than anything. She didn’t get it at all – it was like talking to a brick wall. A totally wasted 5 minutes.

3 comments:

  1. Loquat is for cough and lung in Chinese medicine. Sometimes i would take the Ninjiom Pei Pa Koa which is an extract of loquat when got sore throat.

    You can access info online @
    en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nin_Jiom_Pei_Pa_Koa
    ninjiom.50webs.com

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  2. Perhaps it will cure you of that communicative disease of yours. And no, I'm not a doctor : why be one when you can marry one?

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  3. I guess that tamarind is the honey of the Asian world.

    In my experience, builders listen to Radio 2.

    ReplyDelete