The Gas Man Commeth

Precis of a conversation with the gas man who came to the house on Friday to fit a pipe for the additional Calor gas hob in the kitchen work surface.

Gas Man: "You can't have an exposed Calor gas bottle next to a wooden house in case it catches fire."

Chairman: "If a gas bottle catches fire, the last thing I'll be worried about is whether the wood catches fire - the entire bloody house will be destroyed."

Gas Man: "You need to put the gas bottle in a fireproof metal container that can be attached to the house, a bit like those metal garden tool boxes you can get from any DIY store."

Chairman: "But that would spoil the lines of the house. How about I disguise the metal box to look like a common or garden galvanised bin? I'd only be using one of those small 15Kg bottles anyway."

Gas Man: "Oh, that wouldn't pass the building inspector and we couldn't sign it off."

Chariman: "Why on earth not? It's metal, it's fireproof - people use galvanised bins to burn rubbish - and it can be fixed to the house with a metal strap. Perfect, unobtrusive solution that meets the rules."

Gas Man: "It just wouldn't pass the building inspection."

Chariman: "Again, why not? It satisfies all the criteria - it just happens to be a touch innovative and no-one has thought of it before."

Gas Man: "Dunno. It's the rules...."

I'm going to pursue this one to the bitter end.