Under the Stairs for Cat Food

We've been living in the caravan for some 5 years now, with D Day for moving into the new house being April 1st - April Fool's Day.

The Caravan, despite having No.1 son's shed tacked on the side, is obviously single storey; however, we have a bottom cupboard in the wall unit that we have constantly and somewhat curiously referred to as 'the cupboard under the stairs'.

It's the coldest cupboard known to man, even in the summer, and I'd place a bet that if Bird's Eye knew about it they'd rent it from us as a coldstore, or a stable for the horses that have been found in their products.

I wonder if anyone has tested the messy offal that passes for cat food as to whether it's been adulterated with meat considered fit for human consumption? If our pre-prepared food is full of crap, God alone knows what we're feeding our animals.

Just had a look at the cat's food pouches (yes, I know, I do keep telling Hay to put the damned thing on some form of crunchies) - only 10% meat 'derivatives', which basically means meat slurry and abattoir floor scrapings. Aren't derivatives what caused the global recession? What on earth can the rest of the garbage in the pouches be?