Barry & Colin Outdoor Clothing Range

How the hell did early man end up living in Britain – or northern Europe for that matter? It’s freezing cold half the year and blowing a gale or raining for the rest. Whatever possessed humans to move out of Africa in the first place? It couldn’t have been a land grab – there were only a few thousand of us in the first place and Africa is a pretty large area. Some idiot ancestor must have made a wrong turning when chasing a herd of wildebeest.

You know all these cold weather clothing items and barrier creams that are marketed on the basis that fishermen use them? Well, Hay and I are thinking of launching a new version based on builders - our builders, Colin and Barry, are out in all weathers every day whereas fishermen only fish for about 5 days of the year before they run out of quotas, so what the hell do they know about survival in all weathers?

We could market a line of Colin & Barry’s thermal underwear, or Colin & Barry’s hand cream – as used by builders. Colin & Barry’s all weather shorts too – with added axle grease to prevent those embarrassing dribbles. Yesterday Colin was in camouflage – couldn’t see the bugger.

Spotted what I thought was an image of Bernie Ecclestone in a Santa outfit on the interweb. Turned out to be Andy Warhol. Do you think they are one and the same?

Bernie Ecclestone (left) : Andy Warhol (right)

Talking of Bernie Warhol, a Roy Lichtenstein ‘work’ sold this week for $42.6m. That’s rather a lot for what is essentially nothing more than a cartoon.


As I have said many times previously, I hope it has been bought by a private investor and not my bank or one of my pension companies. The chances are low though, as modern art these days is the preserve of financial institutions which are easily fooled into paying vast sums for intrinsically worthless shit sold by unscrupulous galleries having a vested interest in bigging up their personal protégés. It’s the gallery owners and speculators who decide modern art prices, not talent. Most modern art is fuelled by avarice; true art stands the test of time – but that’s a subjective analysis.