Tuesday, 3 July 2018

800 Japanese Terminator Shopping Vision

It's Chipping Sodbury's 800th anniversary this year. Having watched the historian, Michael Woods, on a programme on TV the other night where he was tracing the history of Kibworth throughout the ages, I had the bright idea of contacting him to see whether he could get involved with the 800 celebrations from an historical perspective. Unfortunately his people said he was involved in a project in China and had a book to get out. You have to get to these academics several years in advance - I'll see if I can get him in time for the 900th anniversary.

Isn't it strange how men and women shop so differently? When I go shopping I usually have an object in mind and the outline of that object is imprinted on my conscious brain - there's an object shaped template in my mind's eye. I can quickly scan a shelf and only something that approximates to the mind's eye object shape will register - everything else is ignored and discarded. It's a bit like the Terminator's vision.

Women, on the other hand, have a more flexible object in their mind's eye, one that approximates to everything in the shop, or even in the entire known universe. That's why it takes them longer to execute the operation we men can accomplish within a few seconds of entering an emporium.

There are a few exceptions to the rule - anything that looks vaguely like a tool, breasts or a motorised vehicle gets immediate recognition and triggers a pleasure receptor in the male brain. These object templates seem to be hard-coded into us.

Have you noticed that the Japanese football team doesn't appear to sport a single tattoo, daft haircut or a man-bun? OK, there's the odd bad hair dye job. Tattoos are associated with the criminal underworld in Japan, so that's hardly surprising. Nor do they fall over at the slightest touch - they get up and continue without any histrionics or amateur dramatics. When they commit a foul, I'm surprised they don't actually bow to the player they fouled.

Another thing the Japanese players seem to do is an innovative thing called tackling - and winning the tackles. It's a joy to watch them, and I don't even like football all that much. Pity they lost.

Was watching Poldark on iPlayer last night - do you think tricorn hats will ever make a comeback?

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