Benign Neglect

I came across some interesting phrases the other day in respect of parenting; benign neglect and free-range children. The former results in the latter, which are, allegedly, better able to cope with life.

This form of parenting is the antithesis of helicopter parenting and is analogous to the gardener, as opposed to the carpenter. The gardener parent sets the scene, establishes clear boundaries and watches what happens, with some occasional corrective interference, which can result in unexpected fowerings and cross-fertilisations. The carpenter, on the other hand, plans everything to the last millimetre, not allowing room for self-expression, creativity or deviation - in other words, micromanagement.

Essentially, benign neglect is how parenting was conducted when I and my peers were kids. We were sent out in the morning and told not to get into strangers' cars, not to accept sweets from strangers and to be home by a certain time, not forgetting to wear clean underwear in case we were run over and ended up in hospital. Those, and a few other strictures, were the guidelines, which we mainly followed. We were free to make mistakes and have adventures, many of them involving brushes with danger, which gave us either painful lessons or confidence.