Growing Old Gracefully

Had a ‘memory episode’ last week. Hay’s getting a bit worried about my remaining brain cell’s unfailing inability to retain any semblance of memory. Earlier in the week I’d booked a restaurant in Nailsworth for either Friday or Saturday evening, but couldn’t remember exactly which day – or even the time. Hay remonstrated with me and asked me to call the restaurant to check. To compound the error I suddenly realised I’d also forgotten which restaurant it was; only an inspection of my phone log saved the day.

I called and was informed I’d booked for Friday. As this was now conflicting with something else I asked to change it to the Saturday. Half an hour later yet another last-minute social diary amendment demanded we revert back to Friday. I duly called the restaurant back to discover the original booking had been sold on, meaning I’d have to cancel.

I then phoned our favourite place in Tetbury, the Blue Zucchini, and booked a table for 2 on Friday evening. On Friday afternoon Hay asked what time I’d made the booking for, but once more my brain cell suffered a catastrophic failure and I had to call them again to confirm the time.

Talking of growing older; a young chap in his 20s stood aside for me at a shop entrance yesterday when he had clear right of passage. I was mightily pissed off by this unsolicited and gratuitous act of deference to the old.

I was watching an advert last night for Calgon – a popular washing machine descaler. The strap line was: “Ordinary descalers only give 50% protection, and 50% protection is like no protection.” The inference is obviously that Calgon gives 100% protection, which by the logic used within the advert is the equivalent of only 50% protection, and as the advert stated, 50% protection is like no protection – so what’s the point?