Sunday, 30 August 2009

Bricks & Mortar

House prices seem to be climbing again, prompting the pundits to start spewing the crap that bricks and mortar are the best investments anyone can make.

Seeing as a house is an essential, it’s a bit like saying that air is the best investment you can make. How can something you need be considered an investment?

You can only afford to buy a house on a mortgage that results in you paying multiples of the original value over several decades, hoping to hell that house price inflation outstrips normal inflation forever - which it won't, as people need to be able to afford housing (hence the frequent adjustments we know as house price slumps).

Also you can only realise any increase in value (minus the considerable interest you've conveniently forgotten about) by downsizing on retirement to a cockroach infested hovel, much against the advice of your kids, who are looking to their inheritance and will have you sectioned under the mental health act and whisked into a state-funded care home a nanosecond after you sell your house.

In the final analysis, my recommendation is to buy a caravan for £25k and live in it for the rest of your life, or at least until you can afford to build your own house, sinking your excess savings into a high interest savings account to fund a comfortable retirement. You’ll definitely end up with much more money that way. Certainly don't listen to advice from mortgage brokers and estate agents.


  1. Until the world economies spiralled into the poo, I was quite taken with the idea that you were better off to rent and invest all spare money (eq mortgage equiv) in shares.

    Now the mattress is looking a good option.

  2. I helped a friend of mine's mum move into her new park home. I tell you something, I'd happily see out old age there. In fact I'd live in one of those park homes now. They're very nice inside, if a little small, but hey, how much space do you need?

  3. Our master plan is to release all the equity in our house when we get old, so we can go on a world cruise. I know that we won't own our house but as long as we can live in it until we die I don't care. I am going to leave all my money to the cats home anyway.
    I work with caravans everyday and sadly a caravan that cost you twenty five k will be worthless in fifteen years, but you can sure have fun it until then.

  4. Lee: Buying shares is gambling.

    Emerson: I considered one once, but it was in the wrong location. They are very comfy.

    Kerrie: But what's £25k when you consider what you have to spend on a house? You can always buy one like mine for £500.