Friday, 13 February 2015

Overheard Putin Fridge

Hay: "I haven't slept at all well this week. I've been lying next to a snoring, snorting, groaning, farting lump of a person."

Chairman: "Have you been seeing someone else then?"

Apparently scientists have discovered the source of the strange cracks and pops that emanate from fridges at night and wake owners up. My fridge goes one better - it actually talks to me. I hear this soft voice at night calling me to the fridge at night. I'm led to believe these night-talking fridges usually only communicate with men.

What's Putin up to? I reckon he's just doing what every tin-pot dictator does when things aren't looking too healthy at home - creating imaginary and non-existent foreign threats and demons with which to rally people to his (or her, in the case of Argentina) flag. Everyone needs a scapegoat at some stage to cloak reality.

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