Policing

Here's an idea - contract out policing to a private organisation. Let's call it the Wagner Group, for want of a better name. Tory MPs could have shares in it.

Staff it with prison inmates, giving them intimidating, black uniforms and thus killing two birds with one stone - reducing the prison population (thereby making room for hordes of lefty lawyers) and rehabilitating inmates.

The only problem I can see is that, as a private organisation, such a force would have the right to strike, so it would be anathema to its Tory shareholders.

I see the Home Secretary, Suella Braverman, wants to upbraid the police for not arresting people chanting the Arabic word Jihad during protests in London. Now Jihad literally means a meritorious struggle or effort. Unfortunately, it has become associated in the West specifically with terrorism. 

However, if you 'cancel' the word Jihad, then for the same reason you must 'cancel' the word Crusade, even if used to denote a vigorous campaign for political or social change. This is due to it, unfortunately, being associated within Islam with a murderous rampage against Muslims (and a few Jews and Christians who happened to get in the way of medieval crusaders attempting to reclaim a certain flashpoint in the Middle East for Christendom).

I wonder what the protectors of free screech will have to say? No, that wasn't a typo.