Tuesday, 21 July 2009

The end of civilization - and bananas


I’ve heard it all now.

Here in the UK some scientists are calling for the closure of schools at the start of the new term in September in order to reduce the spread of swine flu.

  1. If swine flu is going to kill no more people than seasonal flu – which is what we’re all being told – then surely that’s an argument for closing schools every bloody autumn.
  2. Where do these scientists think the children who are not attending school are going to go? In the vast majority of cases both parents will work full-time, meaning some holding facility is going to have to be created where the kids can be dumped. Such facilities already exist – we experts call them schools and there are a good number in each town and village within handy reach of most parents.

I simply can’t believe no-one has pointed out the ridiculous nature of this suggestion.

I’m incensed at the lack of responsibility being shown by the media over swine flu. If you were to believe the stories in the press then we’re all doomed and civilization is going to come to an abrupt halt this autumn.

I read an amusing headline this morning in a world trade news report concerning the fact that Ecuador has suspended trade talks with Colombia, Peru and the EU, alleging unfair tariffs on its banana exports. It said: “Ecuador, EU in banana split.” What made it amusing is that the publication concerned is noted for being rather staid, and hence the headline writer probably didn’t even realise that the headline contained humour.

13 comments:

  1. In a similar vein, I believe it was the Times which once had a front-page headline about the decision of the noted Antarctic explorer Sir Vivian Fuchs to go on a lecture tour of America. The headline? "Fuchs Off To America"

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  2. Oh I'm sick of this paranoia. Two private schools closed recently because a pupil was suspected of swine flu.

    Because I went to Mexico in 1994 and have a bit of a cough - my kids are pinning their hopes about their schools.

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  3. Alan: Them Fokkers were Messerschmitts.

    Jenny: So I guess you'll be dead in a few days?

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  4. You're all missing the really important debate here : strawberry/vanilla, chocolate/vanilla or even strawberry/chocolate vanilla ice-cream in the banana split ?

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  5. And just for the record, I'm getting an ad for a new sales improvement book. I'm amazed that it hasn't been snapped up by the automotive industry....

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  6. Chairman - amazing all of the fuss that is being made over swine flu, when 'Man flu' is three times as severe. I guess that doesn't impact the schools though...
    So, if you get flu, how do you know if it is swine flu or 'normal' flu? "Atchoo!!Oink!!"?

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  7. Or perhaps a strange ability to sniff out truffles...

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  8. Kapgaf: Plain vanilla.

    Kabbalah: A useful, not to say lucrative, side effect.

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  9. I thought when MJ died we'd be done with all the talk of swine flu. Alas even he couldn't shake that one from our irrational minds. I thought he was a BIG star. WTF?

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  10. IB: Have you seen pictures of Janet J lately? I strongly suspect JJ is actually MJ in drag and he's (she's) done it to avoid his debtors.

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  11. Ha! That's what I thought! [About JJ and MJ]... crikey I'm getting cynical...
    Sx

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  12. Scatlet: Cynicism comes with extreme old age.

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